Alright trashies, I’ll be honest, I asked for this show so I could recap the one and only Twitch Richards, but holy god this show is crazy. I wasn’t ready. I don’t know who any of these other girls are, I know Heidi was on The Hills, AND IS CRAZY, but that’s it.
Episode begins with Josie talking shit on her mom for having a fun time and I get it. When her mom goes in to check on her because she’s crying she just says “Can you just take a Xanax?’ OH MY GOD. Twitch Bitchards is the voice of reason on this show?? Is this real life? Josie goes and sits by the pool in sweatpants and yells into the phone.
Heidi mentions the fact that everybody is nice in the first week, then show true colors? Um, didn’t you show up drunk and screaming? Check yourself.
Time for therapy and thank god Dr Debbie’s outfit matches the room. Courtney and her mom are just so confusing and fascinating to me. What is Courtney famous for? Other than getting married at 16 to a 55 year old? I can’t even decide who is worse with them. Well, ok, the mom. Mom is worse. Dr Debbie is doing so little here.
Shar and Cassie have one big issue and it is Thanksgiving. Fascinating.
Kim and Kimberly have…no issues? Yeah FUCKING right. Kim’s excuse is literally always “I’m going through some things at home.. with some things.. and there are things.. debbie you don’t know what I go through AT NIGHT!”
Of course Josie was a cheerleader. These girls are both so stiff and weird. Josie especially seems so mad at everything and I respect it.
Heidi’s crying voice is my favorite. She makes me wish I watched The Hills because this bitch is crazy but clearly makes good tv. I might have to watch.
The Nunns are already throwing shade at the Teen Bride family. The drama begins!! Karen is my favorite. She is stepping into some stuff that she has NOOOOO place with. Amazing lil pot stirrer, you!!
Alright now we get to basically have bad tabloid covers thrown in our faces. Awesome, I can figure out what some of these ladies are “famous” for!
Karen is SUCH a bitch oh my god. Nobody comes up to her and is like “Natalie is your daughter?? Hmm, she’s got a long chin!”
They show a tabloid cover of Josie getting a DUI and Josie leaves the kid room and runs outside to tell her IT’S OKAY TO TALK ABOUT IT! Apparently she had taken a XANAX oh my god!!
The tabloid cover they show for Kim Richards is that she checked into rehab…um, there have been worse tabloids in her life time.
Courtney can’t stop puking now and someone mentions pregnancy test?? This show is incredible. I am impressed, Lifetime. Courtney is super sick so let’s grab Not a real Dr. Debbie so she can do what any true leader would do, call paramedics. This is episode 2 and someone is being rushed away in an ambulance. And now crazy mom is claiming she has sympathy sickness. It would be most unfortunate if the ambulance ran over her. Put her out of her fake misery.
Thank you for reading! This show has blown me away. So much more than I expected. C U Next Tuesday, trash fans!
