WEEK 6! Everyone seems to be in a somewhat better place… and then we have Courtney and Krista. There just isn’t a way to fix this I don’t think.
Apparently Josie IS trying to be the next Gigi Hadid, and she just got the cover of Harper’s Bazaar and a twelve page story? About your tragic Xanax history? About what? Your desire to bring back Mc Hammer pants?
Josie wants to leave and her mother is telling her not to…okay I agree with Josie. You don’t give up Harper’s Bazaar for Lifetime. Are you joking. For ONE day. Jessica confides in the dream team, Frick & Frack, and they give her terrible advice. Heidi just tells her to drink some vodka at 7am and not worry about it. Time for therapy!
Dr Deb splits up the families, keeping the moms. Let’s ask Jessica what is the scariest part of being a mom? ‘i’m worried she will fail by attempting to follow her dreams that she is clearly achieving.” Mkay.
Uh oh, someone’s crying.
It’s Kim, out of nowhere, she growls something about college and throws her hands on her face. Cut to the daughters, thank gawd.
This could be the editing, but I’m laughing SO HARD at Josie just starting to ruin the fun by randomly talking about how her dad was never there for them….what??? Right after her talking head of “I love the daughters! We all have fun!” Then Kyle Jr talks about the time she lost her virginity and Kim knew the second she walked into the door. “I just knew, I saw it in your eyes!” bitch, please. You know she was there in the bushes with Brandi Glanville wearing a wig and a hat.
I am OBSESSED with Natalie and how nothing she does makes any sense. Josie brings up something she saw on google, which pisses Natalie off. You never know how this girl is going to react to anything. She says she feels like people are judging her and she doesn’t like it. You’re a reality TV star. You love being judged. Daughters back to therapy after a fun lunch! The daughters all plop down as if they have never sat down alone on a couch before.
Heidi starts off by trying to start shit with Josie, because that’s what this show is about. Natalie hops on the “attack other daughters” and goes after Kyle Jr for….something? She takes a lesson from her mom and replies “I’m not perfect!”
Courtney brings up a REAL fucking issue about HER MOM and we all are on the edge of our seat. I want to know every dang detail and I am a terrible person for it, but that’s okay. Dr Deb has a breakthrough in her talking head by saying “I feel like Doug is a real issue for Krista and Courtney.” WHOA.
The moms head out for their weird lunch for some “adult talk”, how do I doubt that will happen? It’s been a minute since Karen, Head Bitch in Charge, outed her daughter for something. Oh, wait, here she goes.
“Nothing embarrasses Natalie! Oh except maybe this one time when…”
So you are literally bringing up on national television the ONE thing that you know will embarrass your daughter. Karen is HBIC for a reason.
Time to bring back the moms, and all the daughter groan. As did the 6 people watching this show.
HBIC and Natalie play this weird little game first, and they are surprisingly in sync with very basic answers. I don’t like it when you’re mean, but I like it when you’re nice! omg, same. Relatable. Deep. Heidi has never seen Natalie this upset, but then again, Heidi hasn’t ever seen Natalie sober. The group starts to move on and Natalie can’t handle the drama not being about her, so she storms out.
Dr Debbie chases after her, playing into her game and Natalie cries “I don’t like the way I feel” AGAIN SO RELATABLE.
Natalie and Heidi head over to the bar and Kim is doing impressions in her room. Courtney is wearing a fuzzy sweater crop top that I am in love with. What does that say about me? Anyway. Debbie tells Courtney she thinks it’s a good idea for Doug to come to the next therapy session and Courtney makes this face for ONE SECOND and I’m laughing so hard. She knows that would be amazing, we all do.
I’m a barbie doll and even I know that would be hilarious.
Josie and Jessica are fighting about Harper’s Bazaar again and I’m losing my mind. What is wrong with these people!!!! You leave the Lifetime reality show for a magazine cover!! Oh my god!!!
Courtney calls Doug and tells him Deb wants him to come to the next therapy session he stutters around before remember he probably signed a contract to appear already.
Natalie and Heidi are drinking and talking shit on the fact that Josie wants to leave. Also she wants everyone to leave their doors open, in case people are talking shit about her and hiding behind curtains. So now she’s going to march around the house yelling. I don’t know what game she is playing, but she’s losing. I love it. Now we cut back to the whole googlegate issue, and that’s what she is mad about? This girl is made for reality television. She’s just in the kitchen yelling at everyone.
Kim and Kyle jr are wearing uggs in there room and Kim, the alcoholic, says “Is that Natalie? Is she drunk?”. Everyone slowly walks into the hallway and looks at each other like this:
Natalie just keeps yelling WHO GOOGLED ME?? WHO SAID THEY GOOGLED ME AT LUNCH?? While clearly knowing it was Josie. This is unreal. Cassie and Kyle jr try to get snacks and leave so Natalie says “I didn’t excuse you guys” WHAT? WHO ARE YOU!? Crazy Twitch Richards is revealing herself and throwing her finger in Natalie’s face and Kyle jr is trying to pull her back, as always. Kim takes her sweater off and Natalie says “Don’t take your sweater off! I didn’t SAY you could take your sweater off!” Watching Kim Richards try to go at the crazy drunk lady is hilarious. Remember when that was you? Memories.
Heidi realizes she isn’t in the main conflict of the episode.
Natalie is yelling at everyone instead of Josie, because of Josie. Because of Josie barely doing something.
Cassie comes into the Richards room and starts having a panic attack and Kim does the wrong thing by smothering her.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Is next week the finale? I don’t even know how many episodes there are in this nightmare. I’m excited for next week, because of Doug, but MOSTLY because it looks like Natalie and HBIC are going to go at it about washing their face, and I already have opinions!!!!!!! Thank you for reading, and god bless your soul if you are watching this show. Love you all.
XO, KAT