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The Challenge: Rivals 2 Recap “Rumble in the Jungle”

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challengeI am a grown, heterosexual, somewhat normal, 32-year-old male and nothing in the world brings me more joy than a new season of “The Challenge.” I don’t know what it is, but I absolutely love watching past “Real World” cast members duke it out for some dough. And let me tell you folks, the season premiere did not disappoint one bit.  The show opened with the former reality stars entering the jungles of Phuket, Thailand to be greeted by The-Dullest-TV-Host-in-History, T.J. Lavin. Seriously MTV, would it kill you to find a host with a more charismatic personality? My one-year-old nephew, who can’t even talk yet, would be a more interesting host.   The competitors are given the news they will be paired with their biggest rival (hence Rivals 2.) Some of the pairings seemed kind of forced, but there were juicer ones like C.T. (Paris)/Wes (Austin), Johnny Bananas (Key West)/Frank (San Diego) and the most annoying team of all… Aneesa (Chicago)/Diem (Fresh Meat). This season the first place team receives $125K each, $35K for second and third place goes home with $15K. Everyone else will most likely move back into their parent’s basements and file for unemployment. The last time we saw C.T., he was a changed man. He had gone through some form of therapy and seemed to have matured. Fortunately for us viewers, it appears C.T. is back to his old douchebag self. On the first night in the house, C.T. gets wasted and tries to choke the Challenge rookie Marlon (Portland) in the pool for no apparent reason.   Meanwhile inside the house everyone is laughing at Tyrie (Denver) because he is passed out, buck naked, as he drops a deuce sitting on the toilet. This was a big moment for Tyrie in his Challenge career since it’s the first time he has ever contributed something entertaining to the show. Back in the pool, C.T. flirts with his on again and off again flame Diem, who is attempting to break a record for the most tears shed in a reality show. C.T. and Diem met a couple years ago on a past Challenge and dated seriously until Diem dumped him to focus on her career. Given that Diem is on another MTV Challenge canoodling with C.T., it appears she might want to find another career to focus on.    The next morning the teams vomited away their hangovers and participated in the first challenge of the season. In this event one team member hangs 30 feet above the water while the other jumps off a platform into their partner’s arms and hangs on for a full 15 seconds. Each round becomes more difficult, as the distance between the team members increases by one foot. The girls went up first and the final round was neck and neck between Joanna (Cancun) /Nanny (Las Vegas) and Paula (Key West)/Emily (D.C.) In the end, Paula/Emily were victorious because Emily was able to leap-hang onto Paula’s large boob implants for dear [...]

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