Hey Trashmies! Let’s take a break from the old-fashioned story of girl meets 25 guys, girl dates them all in a two-month timeframe, girl ultimately finds her soon-to-be-ex-fiancee: it’s time for the Men Tell All special! Tonight, we’ll reflect on the What Could Have Been as we revisit the douchebags and reflect on their douchiest moments. Chris Harrison welcomes us, surrounded by tealights and middle-aged housewives, and asks the question on everyone’s minds: which of the guys was there for the Right Reasons? First, Des and Chris decide to crash some viewing parties, and is anyone else already searching for earplugs for the inevitable shrieks of glee coming from the guests at these parties? Here’s the thing, though: I would much rather watch this show in secret shame than to be on national television as a fan. There’s a reason they call it a “guilty pleasure.” First, in LA, Chris finds his inner creepy stalker (it probably wasn’t buried too deeply) to peer into a window. “Dammit, no one is having a naked pillow fight.”The viewing party attendees do their best to pretend they’re actually surprised (the full makeup betrays them). They show Chris and Des around the house and take pictures, and just like that, Chris and Des leave. The second viewing party stop has a lot more men in attendance, which can probably be explained by the apparent availability at the party of a whole lot of wine. But Chris Harrison wants to see how they party in the Empire State, so he sends Desiree to New York City, where she meets up with a still-married Ashley and JP (still my favorite couple from this franchise). See JP’s face when talking about the open bar? That’s why.The trio makes a couple of stops at impossibly-large NYC apartments (real life isn’t Friends ya’ll, how is this happening?) At the second place, Jason and Molly show up with their baby, and Trista (sans Ryan) comes to party, too. They must be violating some sort of NYC fire code by now: no more than 5 sad former reality stars in a 500-square-foot room. Jason, Molly, and Trista gush about the fans and Desiree to the camera, so they probably got their paycheck. Chris Harrison shows up and invites everyone on the party bus, but no word on where they went. Before the commercial, we learn that the next season of the Bachelor will be in January. (Phew! I’m going to need that time to properly sober up from the amount of alcohol it requires to get through these recaps.) Desiree sat down with three former Bachelorettes to “get advice” on dealing with bad boys. Because there’s no way the ladies are there for filler; they definitely serve a purpose… Anyhoo, Emily and Ali tell her to stick up for herself and make sure the guys know they didn’t “pull one over” on her. Desiree brings up Ben-related anxiety, and though Ali didn’t think Ben was all that bad, she advises Desiree [...]
Hey Trashmies! Let’s take a break from the old-fashioned story of girl meets 25 guys, girl dates them all in a two-month timeframe, girl ultimately finds her soon-to-be-ex-fiancee: it’s time for the Men Tell All special! Tonight, we’ll reflect on the What Could Have Been as we revisit the douchebags and reflect on their douchiest moments. Chris Harrison welcomes us, surrounded by tealights and middle-aged housewives, and asks the question on everyone’s minds: which of the guys was there for the Right Reasons? First, Des and Chris decide to crash some viewing parties, and is anyone else already searching for earplugs for the inevitable shrieks of glee coming from the guests at these parties? Here’s the thing, though: I would much rather watch this show in secret shame than to be on national television as a fan. There’s a reason they call it a “guilty pleasure.” First, in LA, Chris finds his inner creepy stalker (it probably wasn’t buried too deeply) to peer into a window. “Dammit, no one is having a naked pillow fight.”The viewing party attendees do their best to pretend they’re actually surprised (the full makeup betrays them). They show Chris and Des around the house and take pictures, and just like that, Chris and Des leave. The second viewing party stop has a lot more men in attendance, which can probably be explained by the apparent availability at the party of a whole lot of wine. But Chris Harrison wants to see how they party in the Empire State, so he sends Desiree to New York City, where she meets up with a still-married Ashley and JP (still my favorite couple from this franchise). See JP’s face when talking about the open bar? That’s why.The trio makes a couple of stops at impossibly-large NYC apartments (real life isn’t Friends ya’ll, how is this happening?) At the second place, Jason and Molly show up with their baby, and Trista (sans Ryan) comes to party, too. They must be violating some sort of NYC fire code by now: no more than 5 sad former reality stars in a 500-square-foot room. Jason, Molly, and Trista gush about the fans and Desiree to the camera, so they probably got their paycheck. Chris Harrison shows up and invites everyone on the party bus, but no word on where they went. Before the commercial, we learn that the next season of the Bachelor will be in January. (Phew! I’m going to need that time to properly sober up from the amount of alcohol it requires to get through these recaps.) Desiree sat down with three former Bachelorettes to “get advice” on dealing with bad boys. Because there’s no way the ladies are there for filler; they definitely serve a purpose… Anyhoo, Emily and Ali tell her to stick up for herself and make sure the guys know they didn’t “pull one over” on her. Desiree brings up Ben-related anxiety, and though Ali didn’t think Ben was all that bad, she advises Desiree [...]