Helloooo, Trashtalkers! I am writing this as we speak on my brand spanking new Asus laptop, purchased this morning from Best Buy when my trusty Compaq decided it was time to finally rest in peace. She was a good girl, but I’d dropped her one too many times and the rather large paperclip I was using to hold her together just wasn’t enough anymore. So, I’m sorry this recap is late, but I’m sure some of you can appreciate the trials and tribulations of PC malfunctions. On the bright side, this new puppy has a touchscreen. That doesn’t benefit you people any, but I think it’s dandy. Now I have yet another device upon which to play Candy Crush Saga. Hooray! We start this week with a false positive – these ladies know how to party!! Andy introduces a montage of Tamra’s bachelorette party and we get another glimpse of the Mexican parking attendants who moonlit as strippers for the $50 some poor Bravo PA was forced to give them. I could forgive this if it hadn’t led to a discussion of Jim’s penis. It’s not fucking right, BRAVO.Alexis and Peggy seem to think it’s large. Whoopity doo, now I have to go barf. A stupid question comes up about Judy from a viewer who clearly doesn’t know the difference between ordering a singular alcoholic beverage while out with adults and being stoned all day around your children. Shut UP, viewer. The question was how does Lydia justify getting on her mom about smoking pot while she’s comfortable ordering a lemon drop at dinner with Doug. Lydia answers that, duh, she’d have a problem if her mother was fucked up all the time on anything, regardless of her drug of choice. It wasn’t THAT she smoked pot, it was that she toked the gange all damn day. Andy jokingly asks Vicki if HER rather intense mother has ever considered smoking pot, and Vicki mentions that people have suggested it – not only for her mother but for herself. Of course neither of them would, and now I think it’s time we all start a writing campaign to Bravo telling them to slip Vicki a pot brownie sometime next season and just let the cameras roll… Wait, I think I just created a new show! And with that, all lightness and love is over as we move to Tamra to discuss psychological breakthroughs of the season. We’re treated to a montage of her past horrendous behavior all leading up to her moments of triumph, whoring out her past at a women’s expo and faking up with Alexis. Tamra can’t hold back the tears as she recalls her tragic past, and details just how hard it is to talk about the tough stuff. Liiiike putting your divorce on national television? That kind of tough stuff? Listen, I don’t begrudge Tamra her rough life, I believe it happened, but the idea that this whole “storyline” wasn’t yet another desperate grab for attention now […]
Helloooo, Trashtalkers! I am writing this as we speak on my brand spanking new Asus laptop, purchased this morning from Best Buy when my trusty Compaq decided it was time to finally rest in peace. She was a good girl, but I’d dropped her one too many times and the rather large paperclip I was using to hold her together just wasn’t enough anymore. So, I’m sorry this recap is late, but I’m sure some of you can appreciate the trials and tribulations of PC malfunctions. On the bright side, this new puppy has a touchscreen. That doesn’t benefit you people any, but I think it’s dandy. Now I have yet another device upon which to play Candy Crush Saga. Hooray! We start this week with a false positive – these ladies know how to party!! Andy introduces a montage of Tamra’s bachelorette party and we get another glimpse of the Mexican parking attendants who moonlit as strippers for the $50 some poor Bravo PA was forced to give them. I could forgive this if it hadn’t led to a discussion of Jim’s penis. It’s not fucking right, BRAVO.Alexis and Peggy seem to think it’s large. Whoopity doo, now I have to go barf. A stupid question comes up about Judy from a viewer who clearly doesn’t know the difference between ordering a singular alcoholic beverage while out with adults and being stoned all day around your children. Shut UP, viewer. The question was how does Lydia justify getting on her mom about smoking pot while she’s comfortable ordering a lemon drop at dinner with Doug. Lydia answers that, duh, she’d have a problem if her mother was fucked up all the time on anything, regardless of her drug of choice. It wasn’t THAT she smoked pot, it was that she toked the gange all damn day. Andy jokingly asks Vicki if HER rather intense mother has ever considered smoking pot, and Vicki mentions that people have suggested it – not only for her mother but for herself. Of course neither of them would, and now I think it’s time we all start a writing campaign to Bravo telling them to slip Vicki a pot brownie sometime next season and just let the cameras roll… Wait, I think I just created a new show! And with that, all lightness and love is over as we move to Tamra to discuss psychological breakthroughs of the season. We’re treated to a montage of her past horrendous behavior all leading up to her moments of triumph, whoring out her past at a women’s expo and faking up with Alexis. Tamra can’t hold back the tears as she recalls her tragic past, and details just how hard it is to talk about the tough stuff. Liiiike putting your divorce on national television? That kind of tough stuff? Listen, I don’t begrudge Tamra her rough life, I believe it happened, but the idea that this whole “storyline” wasn’t yet another desperate grab for attention now […]