What do you get when you take one half awful puns, about a thousand ridiculous clues, add a quarter million dollars, and throw them into a vat of acid with some fake blood? You know what you get. Welcome, little trashies, to the finale! I’m a little sad. Before I start, I was scouring the interweb for info, and I found a piece of interesting information. Check out this tweet from the killer from week one: Now, the one thing that stuck out for me in the first episode was the iron maiden, so the killer must be a female. Let’s see if I’m right. We start with the ever-adorable Giles, free from his shackles of doom! He takes us on a little video journey, showing us the thousands of interviews that were sent in (including a quick clip of Geno). Anthony Zuiker, the creator of the show, felt the need to clarify all the show points for those with an IQ of 2. Through Giles, he explains that the 13 guests are not actors, and that the crimes are fictitious. They even mention how popular the show became, and showed those “people are dying!” tweets. Note to these tweeters: for the sake of humanity, please do not procreate. Thenk yew. Ladies and gents – there are so many bad puns in this episode alone it could qualify for the Guinness Book of World Records. Let me also mention that if the puns were a drinking game, you’d have full-blown alcohol poisoning. We start about 8 minutes in with a quick punny description of the victims’ deaths. Get ready to drink! Sheri got “tanked”, Dontae “flamed out”, A-Bomb blew up, Don got mauled, Uly “bit the dust”, Sasha and Dana were drained, Geno had a “splitting headache”, and Ronnie got blasted.Please drink only when you hear a proper pun, such as those I have placed in quotes. Then, Giles introduces the final four. Get ready for Melina’s puns. They’re a doozy. He talks about how Cris is a former Miss Nevada and used her beauty and brains to get to the end. (Or – she got to the end because she’s the KILLA!! I’m still betting on her.) Kam used his smarts, and Lindsay’s playing both sides. Now – pour yourself a half a glass of Jack Daniels, because I’m going to relate Melina’s description as told: “Melina soared into the final four by co-piloting Geno and Ronnie into their respective graves, leaving her without a captain on this final descent.” Shame on you, Anthony Zuiker.We flashback to the limo ride from hell. I thought it was hilarious that Kam was the only one wearing a seat belt. They arrive back at the ol’ homestead, and rush back into the house (clearly over-acted) to find Giles. There’s a huge monitor in the great room, and we are treated to a video of Giles, bound to a chair, with many nasty-looking guns pointing at this head. His message: solve the […]
What do you get when you take one half awful puns, about a thousand ridiculous clues, add a quarter million dollars, and throw them into a vat of acid with some fake blood? You know what you get. Welcome, little trashies, to the finale! I’m a little sad. Before I start, I was scouring the interweb for info, and I found a piece of interesting information. Check out this tweet from the killer from week one: Now, the one thing that stuck out for me in the first episode was the iron maiden, so the killer must be a female. Let’s see if I’m right. We start with the ever-adorable Giles, free from his shackles of doom! He takes us on a little video journey, showing us the thousands of interviews that were sent in (including a quick clip of Geno). Anthony Zuiker, the creator of the show, felt the need to clarify all the show points for those with an IQ of 2. Through Giles, he explains that the 13 guests are not actors, and that the crimes are fictitious. They even mention how popular the show became, and showed those “people are dying!” tweets. Note to these tweeters: for the sake of humanity, please do not procreate. Thenk yew. Ladies and gents – there are so many bad puns in this episode alone it could qualify for the Guinness Book of World Records. Let me also mention that if the puns were a drinking game, you’d have full-blown alcohol poisoning. We start about 8 minutes in with a quick punny description of the victims’ deaths. Get ready to drink! Sheri got “tanked”, Dontae “flamed out”, A-Bomb blew up, Don got mauled, Uly “bit the dust”, Sasha and Dana were drained, Geno had a “splitting headache”, and Ronnie got blasted.Please drink only when you hear a proper pun, such as those I have placed in quotes. Then, Giles introduces the final four. Get ready for Melina’s puns. They’re a doozy. He talks about how Cris is a former Miss Nevada and used her beauty and brains to get to the end. (Or – she got to the end because she’s the KILLA!! I’m still betting on her.) Kam used his smarts, and Lindsay’s playing both sides. Now – pour yourself a half a glass of Jack Daniels, because I’m going to relate Melina’s description as told: “Melina soared into the final four by co-piloting Geno and Ronnie into their respective graves, leaving her without a captain on this final descent.” Shame on you, Anthony Zuiker.We flashback to the limo ride from hell. I thought it was hilarious that Kam was the only one wearing a seat belt. They arrive back at the ol’ homestead, and rush back into the house (clearly over-acted) to find Giles. There’s a huge monitor in the great room, and we are treated to a video of Giles, bound to a chair, with many nasty-looking guns pointing at this head. His message: solve the […]