Miss Ellie’s sentiments exactly!
Welcome back K-fans. Are you ready for another boring travelogue through Cuba? What is amazing to me is that this Kardashian trip seems like it went on for weeks; however, in this episode Khloe mentions that it was a mere THREE DAYS! Wow! So much drama in so little time!
First Cuban ASS Shot
We open in Havana where all the K’s are riding in a car through a tunnel and feel like they have to scream like banshees; and Kanye has to toot the horn nonstop. Crazy tourist behavior. As my friend Shirley used to tell me when we would travel internationally: “Remember, don’t embarrass your country.”
Khloe finally gets in touch with Lamar – and he’s doing well, which scares her even more. Geesh, that girl can’t NOT be stressed.
Armando the driver asks Khloe and Malika if they like peanuts, but they misunderstand him thinking he is asking if they like penis. Hahaha – like that joke has never been told before.
Please e-n-u-n-c-i-a-t-e
Khloe is questioning Lamar’s behavior – not trusting him. She is obviously obsessing over his care – even while she is miles away. He should not be drinking, but he does anyway – he chooses to do it – and there’s nothing that Khloe can do. Malika tells her she has done everything she can. Khloe and Malika have been best friends for 17 years and Malika can always get her out of a bad mood.
Scott is over at Kris’s house. Kris is remodeling (again) – but nothing matches. Scott says: “It looks like Bruce Jenner has been pulled out of that room.”
Really? Please put Bruce Jenner back in this room at once!
Kris remarks that Scott is similar to Kourtney in that they are both perfectionists. He reminds Kris that they are not together anymore. Scott is feeling FOMO (fear of missing out). He couldn’t get his paperwork in order in time to join the girls in Cuba and he wishes he was there. Somehow the girls have been posting photos (even though they say there is no internet in Cuba) and he’s got FOMO big time.
In Cuba, Paparazzi have discovered the K’s and so now they are inundated with publicity (which I am sure they LOVE even with all their complaining).
They are all going Salsa dancing, but they left their skirts at the hotel. Thank goodness Kanye knows how to sew and he can fashion skirts for them so they can dance. Khloe is finally able to let loose and enjoy herself.
“Thank goodness I brought my seamstress husband on this trip”
Kim — that ruffle really accentuates your ASS
Kris’ house – Scott is there again. He’s got a master plan for his FOMO. He’s going to bring Cuba to those left behind. They are going to wear pastel clothes and eat Cuban food. Kris is happy that Scott is not taking this opportunity to go to his old ways – he is hanging out with Kris and Kylie instead of drinking and feeling sorry for himself. As he leaves, he says: “See you tomorrow in Cubaville!”
They all laugh at a video showing Khloe and Kourtney salsa dancing – they have no rhythm. Kim says she can’t dance at all, which has always been a bane of contention between her and Kanye.
Kanye tells Kim that she looks hot in Cuba. She tells the camera she can’t imagine life with anyone other than Kanye – she is so happy. Then she mentions to Kanye that she will be gone on Mother’s Day, and he has a snit fit.
Scott brings Cuban food to Kylie, Jordyn (Kylie’s friend), and Kris – the first step of his Cuban immersion. He has: Beans and rice, plantains, chicken and onions. Everyone likes the food. He plays Cuban music.
Scott has recruited French Montana to join the Cubaville activities. He has rented a 1950’s blue-pastel car; they are wearing Cuban hats, and smoking Cuban cigars. They go to pick up Kylie and Kris. They ride around and have fun until Kylie remembers she’s got a lip kit launch in 40 minutes. So they have to get back to business. Scott says: “That wouldn’t happen in Cuba.”
Back to the real Cuba – their last night there and they are all at a restaurant. Kourtney remarks how “chill” everyone is in Cuba — she says it is because they have no internet and social media.
Penelope: “Is one of those Sangrias for me?”
This big discussion during dinner, which I really don’t understand: Kris is doing a deal for Kanye with Adidas, but that conflicts with the one she is doing for Kylie with Puma. Kanye thinks since he gave Kylie a “start” in his fashion show, she should be loyal to him and therefore to Adidas? Somehow it got all screwed up and they all say it is Kris’s fault. Kim complains that family should come first. Also, Kanye is complaining about Kim being gone on Mother’s Day. She says she has already had to re-schedule the photo shoot once and doesn’t want to pull out again. Khloe tells her to boss up and tell them it’s Mother’s Day and she needs to be with her children. Khloe tells her to “be dramatic.” (Miss Ellie found this exchange hilarious!)
Khloe and Malika are packing to go home. They say they both loved Cuba – they love the 1950s’ vibe but want them to modernize it a little bit. (What?)
