Celebitchy – Botched Doctors: Kylie Jenner Was Too Young For Lip Injections at 17
Wow, seeing those Kylie photos side-by-side are like looking at two different people: Kylie, cute kid from a vapid family who still loves unicorns; and Kandace LeYuck, high class courtesan to Hollywood pedophiles with money problems. Yeesh. Stay in school kids, and say no to lip injections.
Mashable – America’s Parents Barack and Michelle Interview Each Other About the Olympics
Because this election is turning into a Thunderdome of Awful, I thought that we all deserved something fucking adorable today. Let’s enjoy what little time we have left with the Obama’s — I’m available for adoption, and no it’s not weird to adopt someone in their 30s. Shut up! — because nuclear winter is coming, and we may not have nice things (or a planet) anymore come November.
Dlisted – Farrah Abraham Fought For Her 7-Year-Old To Wear Makeup To School
Move over, G.I. Joe, there’s a new American Hero in town, and her code name is Buttsplash Cumdumpster. This great American is also known by her civilian name, Farrah Abraham, and she is fighting for the rights of children everywhere to look like underage Eastern European prostitutes. That mean old principal is trying to preserve the childhood of the students in her care, but that’s bullshit, because the sooner your kid can start working the corner — peak times are recess — the sooner they can learn the value of a sweaty shame dollar. ‘Merica! ‘Merica!
TMZ – Chad Johnson: I Didn’t Shit My Pants
There, there, Chad. It’s ok, we’ve all been there…when we were three, max four. But it’s ok, there’s no shame in having to wear adult diapers to Sunday football at the sports bar. The good news is, you’re famous, and that’s what you wanted. Right?
Perez Hilton – Rio Olympics Tinder Use is Off the Charts
Zika, what Zika? Rio is already a shit show of epic proportions, so may as well, start a global pandemic with some bomp chicka wow wow. Chase that golden shower, Olympians, you deserve it.