Last week, Kenya and Kandi argued on the bus about the impact foreign parasites will have on the bird species in the Galapagos. We found out that Mynique’s husband has a thing for short women with big heads. Lastly, Porsha shamed us all when she refused to wipe her gross tear streaked face after a crying fit. Oh, and that whole Underground Railroad thing happened too. This week, NeNe really wants the girls to stay in the house for the day and bond or “bund” as she, and only she, says. They start chatting about what else? Sex. Kandi shares that she had Skype sex with Todd the night before because men like to see their women play with “it”. Porsha doesn’t think that anyone should come face to face with a vagina. I guess the vagina is a sideways face of sorts but can we back this underwear railroad train up a bit? If someone doesn’t want to be “face to face” with it, that’s a deal breaker in my book. “Does everyone’s vagina look like this? Cuz mine looks like this.”“Apollo must be this small to fit in there Miss Phaedra!”Confusingly, Porsha shares that she has a tattoo down there and she had a piercing until she got pregnant. Okay. So I guess Kordell would go downstairs and play but the lights had to be off and he had to be blindfolded with sunglasses over that. Mynique obnoxiously questions her about being pregnant. Obviously she doesn’t have any kids lady so just assume she lost the baby and move on with the show. Conversation turns to The New Normal and NeNe’s claim that it was cancelled because people still hate gays. That’s so true! Just like they cancelled Modern Family, Glee, DeGrassi High. Oh wait, those are all still on? NeNe needs a new excuse. “My agent told me to stick with that one line.”Cynthia pipes up with her proclamation that she essentially wants to redo her childhood with Noelle. Cynthia doesn’t want her to be too sheltered because then she’ll turn into…Phaedra. “I think my face is stuck like this.”NeNe says that she was raised in the South and rules were strict. You had to cross your legs, go to school and wait until 21 to become a single stripping mother like any proper Southern girl. She will not allow Brentt to date at 14. Cynthia says that she’s not looking for anyone’s approval. Analysis: These women are here to make a show and part of that is saying aloud what you’d normally think to yourself. The problem with NeNe’s critique is that it opens her up to criticism. I’m not judging Bryson but he got arrested twice and had a child in his early 20′s when he was not married. If this is what strict parenting gets you, she might want to pay her $1400 for a class at the Cynthia Bailey School of Dating and Dong. Cynthia: I know what I’m talking about. I teach a class […]
Last week, Kenya and Kandi argued on the bus about the impact foreign parasites will have on the bird species in the Galapagos. We found out that Mynique’s husband has a thing for short women with big heads. Lastly, Porsha shamed us all when she refused to wipe her gross tear streaked face after a crying fit. Oh, and that whole Underground Railroad thing happened too. This week, NeNe really wants the girls to stay in the house for the day and bond or “bund” as she, and only she, says. They start chatting about what else? Sex. Kandi shares that she had Skype sex with Todd the night before because men like to see their women play with “it”. Porsha doesn’t think that anyone should come face to face with a vagina. I guess the vagina is a sideways face of sorts but can we back this underwear railroad train up a bit? If someone doesn’t want to be “face to face” with it, that’s a deal breaker in my book. “Does everyone’s vagina look like this? Cuz mine looks like this.”“Apollo must be this small to fit in there Miss Phaedra!”Confusingly, Porsha shares that she has a tattoo down there and she had a piercing until she got pregnant. Okay. So I guess Kordell would go downstairs and play but the lights had to be off and he had to be blindfolded with sunglasses over that. Mynique obnoxiously questions her about being pregnant. Obviously she doesn’t have any kids lady so just assume she lost the baby and move on with the show. Conversation turns to The New Normal and NeNe’s claim that it was cancelled because people still hate gays. That’s so true! Just like they cancelled Modern Family, Glee, DeGrassi High. Oh wait, those are all still on? NeNe needs a new excuse. “My agent told me to stick with that one line.”Cynthia pipes up with her proclamation that she essentially wants to redo her childhood with Noelle. Cynthia doesn’t want her to be too sheltered because then she’ll turn into…Phaedra. “I think my face is stuck like this.”NeNe says that she was raised in the South and rules were strict. You had to cross your legs, go to school and wait until 21 to become a single stripping mother like any proper Southern girl. She will not allow Brentt to date at 14. Cynthia says that she’s not looking for anyone’s approval. Analysis: These women are here to make a show and part of that is saying aloud what you’d normally think to yourself. The problem with NeNe’s critique is that it opens her up to criticism. I’m not judging Bryson but he got arrested twice and had a child in his early 20′s when he was not married. If this is what strict parenting gets you, she might want to pay her $1400 for a class at the Cynthia Bailey School of Dating and Dong. Cynthia: I know what I’m talking about. I teach a class […]