Episode 9 – Mess with our pasta and your dead, bitches Hello Trashies! Next round in the catch-up masterchef marathon starts. We’re all still mourning the exit of Kathy. Well ok, possibly only I am. The ep starts with a recap of the previous ep. Kathy got sent home. The pre cap suggests the mystery box will be the best yet. Hmmm. But then, Bastage’s Mum is shown as the guest! Ace! Hopefully she’ll be kicking his ass and making him look uncomfortable. That’s totally what my mom would do to me. The Masterchef symbol appears and we’re into the ep. Turns out the mini’s don’t know who survived last ep. We know it’s Luca, so doing the ‘Simon Cowell Shake’ here is pointless – do the editing pixies think its suspense to see other people not know? Very confusing. But Bastage does it anyway. Entirely futile. Luca comes in, grandstands a bit like any Italian worth their salt would, and is generally entertaining. But someone isn’t happy. Even the Juggernaut can weepOk, so I mentioned last ep I’d found out more about Juggernaut. She has her own food blog, and can clearly cook very well (based on reading it). She also has a troubled history, one that forces me to empathise a bit with her. If only I’d left it alone I could have gone on hating her with a clear conscience. Still, I’m sure she’ll destroy the good feeling soon. She goes on to say that Kathy was her only friend, no one else likes her. Well you reap what you sow, Juggy. Anyway, the mystery box is up – and it’s full of weird shit. Worse, it’s not weird shit from any one cuisine, it’s like one mad ingredient from lots of different ones. Try cooking with that lot, you bastardsSo, the judges have presented them with a box of horrible looking crap from around the world. Sorry, its a ‘bounty of ethnic ingredients from around the world’. But it isn’t – it’s been chosen deliberately as it all looks or tastes bad. If any of the three judges have cooked with any of this shit then I’d sell my left bollock. (that’s a phrase, not a legal promise, I hasten to add) But I suppose the mini’s are all in the same boat, so it’s fair. They aren’t told what anything is, so it’s down to their palate and good judgement. They are so screwed. Soo, they start tasting, and rapidly wish they hadn’t. Beth is categorising by creepiness, which doesn’t sound too sensible as it all looks pretty creepy. Jordan is just going to taste everything, the man is talented. He’s focused on what he needs to do to win, and has worked out the only sensible way to proceed – don’t laugh, the other mini’s haven’t so far. He still spits some stuff out though. I can’t say what I want to here. Bime is cooking up an Elk steak – but knowing him, [...]
Episode 9 – Mess with our pasta and your dead, bitches Hello Trashies! Next round in the catch-up masterchef marathon starts. We’re all still mourning the exit of Kathy. Well ok, possibly only I am. The ep starts with a recap of the previous ep. Kathy got sent home. The pre cap suggests the mystery box will be the best yet. Hmmm. But then, Bastage’s Mum is shown as the guest! Ace! Hopefully she’ll be kicking his ass and making him look uncomfortable. That’s totally what my mom would do to me. The Masterchef symbol appears and we’re into the ep. Turns out the mini’s don’t know who survived last ep. We know it’s Luca, so doing the ‘Simon Cowell Shake’ here is pointless – do the editing pixies think its suspense to see other people not know? Very confusing. But Bastage does it anyway. Entirely futile. Luca comes in, grandstands a bit like any Italian worth their salt would, and is generally entertaining. But someone isn’t happy. Even the Juggernaut can weepOk, so I mentioned last ep I’d found out more about Juggernaut. She has her own food blog, and can clearly cook very well (based on reading it). She also has a troubled history, one that forces me to empathise a bit with her. If only I’d left it alone I could have gone on hating her with a clear conscience. Still, I’m sure she’ll destroy the good feeling soon. She goes on to say that Kathy was her only friend, no one else likes her. Well you reap what you sow, Juggy. Anyway, the mystery box is up – and it’s full of weird shit. Worse, it’s not weird shit from any one cuisine, it’s like one mad ingredient from lots of different ones. Try cooking with that lot, you bastardsSo, the judges have presented them with a box of horrible looking crap from around the world. Sorry, its a ‘bounty of ethnic ingredients from around the world’. But it isn’t – it’s been chosen deliberately as it all looks or tastes bad. If any of the three judges have cooked with any of this shit then I’d sell my left bollock. (that’s a phrase, not a legal promise, I hasten to add) But I suppose the mini’s are all in the same boat, so it’s fair. They aren’t told what anything is, so it’s down to their palate and good judgement. They are so screwed. Soo, they start tasting, and rapidly wish they hadn’t. Beth is categorising by creepiness, which doesn’t sound too sensible as it all looks pretty creepy. Jordan is just going to taste everything, the man is talented. He’s focused on what he needs to do to win, and has worked out the only sensible way to proceed – don’t laugh, the other mini’s haven’t so far. He still spits some stuff out though. I can’t say what I want to here. Bime is cooking up an Elk steak – but knowing him, [...]