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Orange is the New Black: Red Alert, Captain!

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2013-07-22OITNBpiperapologyLater than promised, but I had a few last minute real life surprises to deal with that occupied my time. Less surprising than where we left Piper last ep though, as she crumbled under the pressure of prison and met Alex, her ex-lover. Which puts my having to go babysit some bawling 11 year olds at a ‘graduation disco’ into perspective. She had it easy compared to me. Although it would have gone better if I hadn’t told them they wouldn’t even remember each other in a few years. We don’t meet Piper exactly where we left her though, whatever was said between them is left a mystery. Her more pressing problem is the redoubtable Red. On which subject, I had to use that Voyager reference but hopefully now it’s out of my system. It’s not out of my system yetThis ep starts with a flashback to Red in her old restaurant. It rapidly becomes obvious that this Red is not the same as the one Piper knows. She is pressured by her husband to socialize with the trophy wives of some important customers, against her will. Considering what she did to Piper when she mildly annoyed her, yep, this is a different Red. Back in the present Red is running her kitchen, and still starving Piper out. She tries complaining to her Counsellor – Sam Heany – but he gets fixated by lesbian sex again, and she changes her mind, possibly realizing what a bad idea being a snitch is. This is a rare showing of sense for young Piper. At orientation, its clear she’s still not talking to Alex – and who can blame her. After a farcical introduction video of lies she’s put through a series of talks which end with Natalie the Executive assistant to the warden, who starts to look and sound like a refugee from the ’80s, and is about as pleasant as Joan Collins in a bad mood to boot. We get to see Dia talk to her bitchy (and hot) Mom again. The interplay between these two is great so I hope there’s a lot more coming. Healy uses the library inmate, Taystee, to find out about Piper and Red. He doesn’t inspire any confidence though that he’s going to deal with it at all. Chocolate teapot. Piper then tries apologizing to Red. It goes a lot better than you might have thought, in that Red doesn’t kill Piper. Instead, she acquaints Piper with her new reality – ‘The second you are perceived as weak, you already are.’ She refuses to tell her what to do to make it better and Piper is thrown back onto her own resources to figure it out. Based on her actions so far, she’s in a lot of trouble. Later, in her temporary bunk, she gets a pep talk from the inmate below her with Cancer. Basically that she has to fight, unless she has a get out clause like Cancer. This has exactly the cheering [...]

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