Howdy Trashmii! Here we are at episode 3 of Vanderpump Rules. This week, James goes to the dark side, Shay has abandoned Scheana, and Katie’s ring is in the works. These bitches aren’t playing.
But first — on the Vanderpump Rules After Show: Tom and Tom kissed, which was kind of fun, in a skeevy sort of way.
“WHY does this keep happening to us?!”
Ariana informed us she worked as various princesses at Disneyland, which Tom thinks is really hot. And she and Tom like to role play like children, and plan to never actually be adults. Mm, creepy…
Okay, let’s get to it!
As we open, Lisa is dress shopping for new Sur uniforms with Katie, Scheana and Snagz. The girls model the dresses, and Lisa orders six black ones for work, and four pink ones for Gay Pride.
Now Lisa confronts Scheana and Katie for being mean to Lala. Scheana denies it, insisting she wasn’t mean at all. We flash back to Scheanna asking Lala if she gets to keep her mouth closed on her little Italian ho-cation, lol.
Lisa says Scheana, of all people, should know better, because of how she got picked on when she started. She says the girls are trying to push Lala out “because they’ve got it here. And they don’t want any competition, especially from somebody that’s 5’8″, 100 lbs of blonde”. Hmm, sometimes I think Lisa’s a bit naïve…
Those two decide it’s time to rat Lala out. “There’s no job,” says Scheana. “Some rich guy is paying her to go on vacation.” Lisa looks surprised, but stands firm. “That’s none of your business,” she says. She lays down the law — they have to be nice to Lala.
Lisa has gathered the Sur bartenders for a lesson from Eric, the Pump bar manager. Ariana says, “For us to be in the top 100 whatever, it’s not because we suck.” Jax says they don’t need someone from down the street coming and tell them how to do their job. Lisa arrives, and tells them they’re going to learn some new cocktails — “I want the Pump-Tini, the Pump and Glory, all the drinks that are really popular at Pump.” Tom says that Pump is Lisa’s baby, and sometimes she tries to make them feel inadequate.
Ken walks in with Eric, and has a little scuffle with Jax, but then Ken puts Jax right in his place. Lisa tells us how the big cock is pecking the smaller cock (as in rooster), and then the real big cock comes and pecks the big cock — (with his pecker).
Jax says there’s one thing Eric does better than him — kiss Lisa’s ass.
Eric says he’s going to start with the Pump-Tini. “I actually created this drink myself,” he brags.
Fruitylicious
“Okay, big dick,” says Jax.
Eric says, “That’s what your mother said.” He mixes it up for them, then says, “This was Jennifer Lawrence’s favorite cocktail when she came to Pump.”
“Did you build the restaurant, too?” asks Jax.
“Oh JAX,” they all moan.
…
