Vanity Fair – Two Human Ashtrays Got Married This Weekend
… which explains why there were “bowls and bowls of cigarettes” at the reception. Mary-Kate Olson married France’s presidential half-brother and perviest Full House fan, Olivier Sarkozy, in an all-black, greasy, smoky affair on Friday night. Congrats are in order to the happy couple and boy would I love to be a fly on the wall of the Tanners’ Christmas party.
Perez Hilton – Tay-Tay Is Lyk The Coolest Grl Eva LYL
Your best friend and mine Taylor Swift stopped to pose on the street with an Australian fan because of course she’s just like the most random fun girl ever and OMG she’s got such a girl crush on us! Hey what are you doing later? Want to come to Taylor’s house and bake snickerdoodles and drink cinnamon wine and watch Love Actually? We’ve been dying to do this ALL. YEAR. Soooo random!
TMZ – Hey Remember Sinead O’Connor?
She was a crickety old witch from deep in the forest who managed to weasel her way onto SNL one night in the 90s, where she cursed us all with seven years bad luck by tearing apart a picture of our blessed pope. Well, she’s back at it again, cursing her family and yelling jibberish into the dark cloudy sky. I don’t know, kids, it’s a slow news day and TMZ is full of news about celebrities I’ve never heard of. Who the fuck is Jimmy Jam? He sounds like someone your principal made up.
People – It’s Funny Because She’s Not Conventionally A Size 00!
Look, FAAAAAT comedian Amy Schumer posed for the annual Pirelli (I don’t know what that is either) calendar and we all complimented her for her bravery, because we’re still living in an age where bearing our perfectly normal flesh is brave. Way to go, Ames!
Reality Tea – Tis The Season Of Giving And Acknowledging
Help our needy reality stars – and the true heroes of TrashTalkTV – by buying from this list of Cyber Monday deals on all the superfluous, sub-par, and occasionally dangerous crap peddled by America’s reality stars.
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us on Facebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get the occasional gif on Tumblr!