Howdy, Trashmii! On this week’s episode of VPR, Sur hosts a charity dinner, James lubricates Kristen’s door, and the Toms go all “Pro Bono” on Lisa. We’ll close with a nice minicap of After Show no.7, plus a little summary of that trainwreck of a WWHL episode, featuring James and Lala.
As we open, Lisa and Ken discuss a charity event for homeless teens with a woman named Ariel. Ariel asks if Lisa and Ken would be willing to host a dinner for them at Sur.
Lisa wonders how she can afford her “passion”. Ariel explains that she adults from dawn to dusk — working a 9-5 job by day, and a restaurant job by night, to support her charity.
”And on my free time, I do scary shit to my face”
Lisa interviews that she loves this woman. She’d like to bring her by Sur, so the gang can meet a Real Adult.
Back at Tom and Katie’s, the Toms have developed a clever new strategy to promote Lisa’s LVP Sangria line. Tom1 interviews, “Any asshole can come in with a presentation.” But he’s not just any asshole — he and Schwartz plan to come in WITHOUT a presentation. HAHAHA!
Tom1 says, “Let me do the talking.” Tom2 says, and I quote verbatim, “Dude, I’m a eloquent guy. I can… I can perfectly explain to her… yarrrrgh.”
Katie is semi-appalled, but finds Schwartzy’s helpless idiocy so adorable, it makes her want that ring even MORE.
“Put ‘er right there, Bubbe!”
Schwartz says his main value to Lisa’s brand would be that he’s a ‘handsome face’, lolz.
Back at Sur, Lala and Jax circle each other warily. It turns out Jax didn’t actually take Lala for that test drive. He wanted to, but his license was suspended, and since he already had a DUI under his belt, he didn’t want to risk it. “I would have destroyed her,” he says.
He approaches Lala. “Hi, friend,” she says. She asks what’s up with Brittany. He says she’s visiting, but until she moves, it’s not official. He asks about James. Lala says he’s been texting nonstop. Jax warns her to stay away from that, and she says, yeah, she’s been told.
She asks if they can go out for that drink. He hems and haws, until finally she says, “I’m not asking to suck your dick.” LOL!!! This chick is Jerry Springer in a see-through dress…
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