Howdy, Trashmii! Vegas happened, and it was awesome, because it was really, hilariously hard for these guys to keep their clothes on and not get laid. And it remains debatable as to whether they actually achieved that goal. Also, there was a pink unicorn in the room, who tried with all her might, but failed epically, with flying colors.
We open at the tail end of the Charity Dinner. The kids file out — their bellies full of love, and other things we hope won’t hurt them — and Lisa thanks them for coming. Ariana approaches Bofannashay and Katie in the kitchen to tell them that Peter “thinks” he’s planning a trip to Vegas the day after her birthday. “Okay, that’s not happening,” says Katie.
“I like to have fun,” says Ariana. Katie says their approach should be – “Okay, so you’re going to Vegas? Cool, when do we leave?” Oh yeah, THAT’LL work. Then she lays down the law. Schwartz messed up the Vegas trip last year by ‘kissing’ those two hos — “I’m sorry,” she says, “but he lost the privilege.”
“No one’s going ANYWHERE the day after my birthday,” says Ariana.
“That’s not happening,” says Bofannashay.
And THAT is the end of THAT
HAHAHAHAA!!!
….
Peter and Jax sit down with big ol’ carpet-soiling grins, and ask Lisa if they can take off for a trip to Vegas. “Oh for God’s sake!” says Lisa. “The trouble you guys get into in Vegas, haven’t you learned your lesson by now?”
“You impregnated somebody in Vegas, if you remember,” she tells Jax. Oh yeah, that happened! We get a flashback of Jax coming clean to Stassi about the old aborted mini-Jax, and realize that her giant-statement-necklace problem goes back further than we were cognizant of at the time.
How did we miss that?
Lisa puts her foot down about Shay, saying they’re not to take him, so at this point, we give the Scheanashay union a little more life expectancy, as TWO feet up the ass is better than one.
“Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean you’re a prisoner,” says Jax.
“Oh, it does. It does mean that,” says Lisa.
“Then I’m never getting married,” says Jax.
“Oh really! Oh, what a shock”
Lisa interviews, “Why would Jax and Peter, who are in supposedly serious relationships want to go and ‘test themselves’ in Sin City? it makes no sense, it’s like wolves going into a henhouse.” Or proposing at Chuck E. Cheese without ordering a pizza.
…