August already? Well, not really. It’s the tag-end of December, really. But for our purposes it’s August, so let’ play along with it, shall we?
Let’s see what was going on earlier this year, and hope that your comment made the list. You’re so much funnier than I am.
PopePhilly on Bachelorette Winner: I do at least have a bit of respect for Sean saying, “Look, I signed up to do this and agreed to it. It sucks that image of me is out there, but what can ya do?” It seems less like a “50s housewife” situation and more like a “Sean makes enough money for both of them so Catherine is able to focus on starting the design career she’s always wanted” situation.
I do love this show. It’s a great excuse to drink on a Monday night.
NWMTV on RHOC Tahiti: Primatologist Dian Fossey will host and provide behavioral commentary.
NWMTV on Bachelorette Winner: I still haven’t forgiven Miss Can’t Keep her Knees (or Lips) Together for Reality Steve-ing us with that Snapchat. I probably never will. I’ll drag that betrayal behind me on angry little wheels like a Dance Moms fan at the airport.
PottyMouth on SYTYCD Judging: It’s not so much about whether or not I believe him about the hate mail – hell, he might have gotten hate mail again last week! I’m just SO SICK of his holier than though, I’m so awesome look at what I’ve done for dance, the youth of america, interracial relationships….blahblahblah ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. He needs to stop blowing smoke up his own ass. UGH. Sorry, but he irritates the ever loving shit out of me!
NWMTV on RHOC Tahiti: I’m declaring my personal space, plus 25-ft buffer zone, a Bug Eyes-Free Zone.
No bug eyes wanted, thank you.
NWMTV on Bachelorette Winner: I’m fresh out of sympathy for Nick. Sorry, man. Just went to the well, and she’s all dried up. It was all those grieving families, and hungry refugee children, and homeless kittens. I forgot to save any compassion for dating show double rejectees.
Maybe in a few weeks, when your Journey of the Sads continues on, the well might refresh. There might be some damp compassion sand in the bottom I can dredge up for you. Mabye then I can be there for you, Nick. But maybe not, too.
Monchichi pn MDMSF Eps 3&4: Joel looks a little like Regis Philbin. My eyebrows have basically left my face, so I have to draw them on. On days that I’m extra greasy, they look like Joel’s. I’ll bet he’s had about a thousand chemical peels. I cannot even guess how old he is. He could be 70 or 40. The fillers and all that other stuff make it hard to tell.
PopePhilly to AuntD In BIO YOPT: No man should ever call himself an “alpha male” non-ironically.
TN Gal on RHOC Tahiti: That’s why Heather and Lisa V. are two of my favorites. I want to see rich people problems, not Twitch’s “how am I gonna pay my rent this month” or Sonja’s “falling apart mansion” problems. I want to see Heather spending $7k on a *sink* for a *closet*. And I want to see Lisa buying Ken mini-ponies and then having Mohammad design and build them a barn. Remember when Vicki and Jeana had joolers, and the diamond buying party? That’s why I started watching these bitches. Heather, Lisa, Camille, Adrianne…may not be likeable but all have enough real “fuck you” money that they don’t need the show.
Classy_drunk on RHOC Tahiti: I love “fuck you” money! It’s the only kind of money to have!
Mulligan on RHOC Whore-ea: Drunk Vicki should be made into a public service announcement. You know you are pathetic when the Snooki’s of the world are more mature than you.
Itchy on BB17 Worked: I think she’s an interesting character though. She’s a know-it-all, for one thing, so she’s always telling the others all kinds of useful information for how to live. Which of course is always fun.
NWMTV on BB17 Worked: I wonder which production assistant gets to clean the Wookie clumps out of the bathroom drains after a BB season wraps? Or do they just burn the set and start over?
Kelli3222 on Cait Help; It was so shocking to see how Ronda, Cait’s assistant, who lets not forget, is on the payroll, tried to make this trip all about her! It was a free trip! Those women were trying to do important shit & all she could do was whine about feeling left out. Well Duh, now feth me my Starbucks coffee, Dahling! Bring me something from Chef Penny….NOW!
HJ to Cookie on RHONY New: Anyone who can use John Belushi and Mother Teresa in the same sentence is someone who I want to hang with