Last week, Cynthia and Peter tolerated each other long enough to eat a meal, appetizers an amuse bouche. Kandi filmed a music video in a parachute and DonJuan continued to feel the effects of his apparent hypnosis that makes him attack every time he hears Kandi or Todd’s names.
Shamea stops by the Kandi Factory because she didn’t sign her contract yet and really wants to be on the show permanently. Karmon and DonJuan must’ve smoked some Kool-Aid flavored weed on the ski trip because they are all over Shamea and Porsha for even talking to Phaedra about Todd at the event. Karmon says that Phaedra has new clothes, cars and titties so she should be able to pay Todd. This is so weird. I mean, how did these two feel about Phaedra when she was actually friends with Kandi? DonJuan wants to know how she can discuss facts with someone who doesn’t know what the Undergorund Railroad is. They start making choo-choo noises and Shamea starts thinking about sad pet abuse commercials to keep a straight face. She asks them to talk constructively clearly misunderstanding the entire premise of this show. Kandi says that she’s always supportive of Porsha and will discuss this with her. She’ll bring hand puppets to make the story easy for her to follow.
Todd meets with Phaedra who claims that she gave birth 12 hours after she did the video with Todd. What’s the big deal? I’m sure that Dylan was fully developed even though she was only 5 months pregnant. Speaking of “Dylan”, whatever happened to “Mr. President” and “Prince Ayden”? Maybe she decided Mr. No Record was a more reasonable goal. Then she brings up the jail excuse except Todd points out that Phaedra just said last season that she has no shortage of money and she wishes that were her problem. Fortunately I’m not the only one who remembers the roughly 9 months that none of that was going on and Bravo treats us to clips of contradictions de la Phaedra. Phardra also claims that she never saw the video and we see a video of her watching…the video. He brings out invoices and cancelled checks. She cringes. She hates evidence and avoids it like the truth and employable men. He says that communication stopped between them and all he needs is a pregnancy photo, that he’d already requested, and the project will be finished. Phaedra knows that any momentum she had is totally gone with this project. She’d probably find a way to sue him except if she represented herself she’d probably lose.
Lauren and Porsha are getting ready for the Emmy Awards red carpet. Lauren is going to need to slow down due to her pregnancy and eventually take a couple of months off. Porsha is upset that Lauren won’t get around to teaching her how to tie her shoe.
Kenya’s dad, Davey Downer, visits. He hates everything from the tea she made to the house she lives in. Even he encourages her to walk around with a sign for a husband. Kenya attended a conference of some sort led by Dr. Umar, who preys on Black women like Dr. Ti-ye of season’s past. He mentions some stuff about healing past hurts in order to move on which anyone with a DVR and Kenya’s Wikipedia page could have said. Her dad tells her that she has to take the best side of a book which I think in layman’s terms means, settle you psycho b&%#!.
Marlo meets with Cynthia to help prep for her eyewear appreciation party. Marlo had more screen time than Kim this week.
Porsha goes to the Emmys and interviews some celebrities. To think, if she’d never dragged Kenya across the floor, she’d be waiting in the lobby of the Mondrian for some B-lister to drunkenly take her to his room. Now she’ll be at the Beverly Wilshire.
Since Kim is in the opening credits, they had to give her a scene. They literally show her oldest son trying to give himself high lood pressure by drowning his food in salt. I don’t have to tell you, but Kim stops him. God forbid the kid have some excitement in his life outside of color coding his Legos.
The Tuckers and the Bailey-Thomas’ have lunch. Kandi is six and a half months pregnant, further ruining the continuity of the show, and tells them about the Phaedra and Crew incident at her video premiere. Kandi has supported Porsha over the years but doesn’t feel like Porsha ever gives her a chance to explain her side of the story. They also talk about the restaurant they may open. Cynthia hates this idea as much as she hates Lenscrafters.
It’s time for Cynthia’s eyewear appreciation. It’s just a way to shove people into a confined space with cameras so there’s extra pressure to buy stuff. DonJuan apologizes to Porsha for coming off too aggressive but not for his stance, which is b-boy. Porsha pulls Kandi aside to talk about the issues and DonJuan and Karmon follow because Porsha is basically Chris Brown with less singing talent and respect for human life.