We pick back up on our messy train, beginning the episode with Dom thinking Lizzy is pregnant, while the actual pregnant one, Danielle, walks in. Everyone gives each other some side eye in regards to that little fight from the previous episode, then Danielle talks about how right now is not the time to try and figure out Richard. Danielle wants her family to be okay, and Dom agrees, saying he is all about turning those pages. The less words, the better. Lizzy says that she’ll try and be okay with Richard for Danielle, but she still thinks he’s a dick. I feel like I’m getting a warm hug listening to this.
My dreams have come true and Tina drops by the recording studio and is welcomed by my favorite Simpsons character, Ocean. He’s rocking a fabulous cowboy hat and it’s working.
My fashion icon, Ocean/Krusty
We flashback to the dark time in history when Tina was trying to get the girls from Ceraadi to record with Silent Killers and we get to see the ever so elegant Mama Ceraadi yelling about Google again. Aww, memories.
The best cat instagramer in the game
Tina is so over Ceraadi, so she has decided to take on their song and will record it for herself. Tina thinks it’ll make a great theme song to her pop up shop opening because that’s clearly the most important part of opening a retail space. Ocean practically shits the floor in joy and somewhere, Mama Ceraadi is writing a yelp review about Google.
Dom and Lizzy go out for a nice dinner, but Lizzy immediately is upset with Dom for ordering champagne. She believes champagne to be a celebratory beverage and this is a time for mourning: Dom is going back to France. Lizzy rather be drinking arsenic at this point, mixed with some champs.
They’re cheering to the purity of Instagram love success stories
It turns out Dom hasn’t booked a ticket yet to return to the states and Lizzy is very worried about this. What if Dom doesn’t come back? Wait the season finale is next week? Oh yeah, no he’ll be back. Gotta make that extra paycheck baby.
We head over to the Pop Culture store and Tina tells us about how her clothing line is a girl street brand, based off of what is trending in pop culture at the moment. They had a soft open already because Tina wanted to have the girls get used to waiting on customers. . . uhh, so did you hire no one with experience? I’m guessing the interview was just about your ability to turn up. Turns out though, they are already out of “on fleek” shirts. Welp, fuck, shut it all down then! If there are no more “fleek” shirts, what are we even doing here???!
I’ll take 800 of those horse bags though…POP CULTURE.
Danielle stops by and is surprised there is still construction going on while the store is technically open. We get a look at some shorts with “bitch” written on them and shirts with “WCW” on them as well. Tina tells us that “Woman Crush Wednesday” is what started this brand and I really hope she had a vision board with just that phrase on it when she pitched this idea. Danielle notices some clothes facing the wrong way and decides that Tina is fucked and should just pack it all in and never have dreams again. FAMILY HUG.
We see my best friend the gazebo, then we see Dom and Lizzy packing up the car to take Dom to the airport. Dom says “bye bye” to his not house and cue the funeral music. Lizzy says she can’t look at Dom because it just makes her sad and it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s driving and should probably not be gazing into his eyes on the highway. We arrive at the airport and what feels like in slow mo, we watch Dom take out his suitcase and tears streaming down Lizzy’s face.
“Type in your Facebook password into my phone real quick…”
The editors try to make us feel like we are watching “The Notebook” and pretend like we haven’t been watching these guys practically finger bang each other in the guest house jacuzzi all season. Get out of here.
After that tragic scene, we see Tina holding their Mom’s dog, who is apparently 119 years old in humans years. Woof.
That dog looks dead right?
Tina goes to wash her hands of the geriatric dog and Lizzy starts cracking up, knowing Dom left a gift for Tina. It seems that Dom has left a monstrous shit in the toilet of Tina’s bathroom and Tina is offended by the stench.