Hi my dears! Oh man the time has come and we are at the season finale of “Turned Up!” I’ve surrounded myself with balloons, croissants and purple drank all in honor of the final episode of the season. So let’s see how it wrapped up!
We are at Tina’s pop up shop and the Silent Killers are there, with Ocean looking as fresh and krusty as ever.
Maybe it’s maybelline…
Tina says she wants to have Nova perform their song “Popular” with her and she’d like the other guy in the group model in the show. . . WHY DIDN’T SHE ASK KRUSTY? His hair alone is high fashion at it’s best. Tina is getting super excited about turning up Melrose and also trying to collect her final payments for using “turn up” as many times as she can this episode.
Mom and Danielle go to lunch and Danielle let’s us know that Richard is staying with his parents currently. His parents went to the “Viva Diva” party, sans Richard, and Danielle said it felt really awkward. We get a flashback to the party and it’s clear that was a DUD. I support Richard not going and instead playing with some pool balls and fondling some sticks at some dive bar.
The face Richard fears the most
Mom is upset that Richard hasn’t properly been there for Danielle through her pregnancy, but Danielle says she asked Richard’s dad to talk to him. Mom decides that now is a fabulous time to talk about how she did some research and in most cases like this, where a child has difficulties, most men run away and leave the family. I mean, damn Mom, at least buy her a box of assorted macaroons before you drop such shitty google results. Danielle sobs and Mom consoles her, pretending like she didn’t just take a giant shit on lunch.
“He will leave you for a pool table”
Richard and his father go to a cigar bar and Richard asks his father if he knows why he’s been staying at their house the last couple days. Clearly we’ve got some very communicative people here. . . his Dad says he has an idea why and Richard immediately breaks down and says he wishes he could just fix things, like he was raised to do. His Dad takes a couple puffs on a cigar, says like 10 words and BAM! Richard is like “Oh yeah my b, I’ve been a real dick this whole time, so I’m gonna go fix that. . . k thanks.” Uhh, damn, who knew puffing on some dick shaped objects would bring so much clarity to one’s mind so fast.
Easing the pain
We head to yet another FUCKING restaurant and Tina and Danielle are having some lunch, when Danielle brings up the rumors that Lil’ Wayne has been seen with his ex. She’s apparently still wearing her engagement ring and Tina says she is just over it at this point. She’s opened her eyes and doesn’t have time for games.. even the sexy ones. Danielle says she feels like Tina has given him so many chances and Tina says at this point, they are really done. I was holding out for her to throw out an accapella version of “Like Me,” but alas.
She found out Snoop wasn’t available to do a spontaneous performance
We see Richard and Danielle together again, looking like they can barely tolerate each other, but fuck it, hold hands anyways.
Reunited and it feels soo good!
They are headed to a support group for parents who have had children with similar struggles as Danielle and Richard’s unborn son. When talking to the other parents, they all say don’t doubt it will be the toughest experience. Richard is outside hanging with one of the dads and Richard says he hates how doctors only act like the mother is the one going through this pain. Richard just wants to be thrown a bone once and a while. After talking with the other parents, Danielle feels that they will be okay no matter what the outcome is.
Over at the turn up warehouse, Tina is meeting with her event planner, CJ, and Lauren. Lauren is simultaneously filtering her selfies while talking about the price quote for the event.
When the LED screen comes up, it seems like everyone is ready to slit each other’s faces off in what’s the appropriate option. CJ also says he “doesn’t want to be there all day to be there all day,” meaning who the fuck knows and I think about slowly cutting his man bun off his rude ass head.