Last week, Kenya had the saddest family reunion ever. Phaedra offered to pay Todd his $8000 video balance with Apollo’s debit card. We saw footage of Peter with a woman except this time it was Cynthia and there was no choking, or love, or romance. And Porsha yelled at her sister for being fertile.
Kandi and Todd plan to announce their restaurant idea to the aunts and discuss the future they want for their kid. If they have a boy, Todd doesn’t want him to wear open toe sandals and if they have a girl, he doesn’t want them to straighten their hair or wear weaves too young. Aim high, Todd.
“I also don’t want him to be taller than me so stop taking your folic acid.”
Kenya is at her house telling presumably skilled contractors how to build a house. Cynthia arrives and Kenya invites her to the second level as if she’s supposed to intuitively know that she will have to rappel herself up the wooden beams.
“It’s not done but it’s more erect than Peter.”
Kenya shares what happened at the reunion and Cynthia cries with her. She would rather her mom tell her she hates her and wants nothing to do with her than to be ignored. Only problem is, Kenya’s mom has tried both approaches over the years. They’re all bad.
Apollo calls from the sleepaway camp for reformed boys and threatens Ayden for misbehaving in school. Ayden responds with “Yes ma’am” and Phaedra elbows him like she’s afraid Apollo will reach out and touch someone at any point. Ayden tells him that they’re going to the Million Man March so he won’t end up serving 10-15 like his old man.
Kim and Phaedra arrive in D.C. separately for the March and it seems clear to me that the rumors were true. No one seems to be Team Kim on this show and she doesn’t seem to understand this beast called Real Housewives. Phaedra arrives with a makeup artist, nanny and assistant. Kim arrives with a two kids and a wig. Porsha and Sheree are also there and are waiting for Kim who ends up being left behind while she gives her kids a civil rights lesson in her very best Small Wonder voice.
They meet with Congresswoman Wilson whom Phaedra refers to as a “Flaming Uncle Sam” which is redundant. I mean, the guy wore a multicolored top hat and bowtie. The congresswoman started a program that Phaedra wants to adopt. Meanwhile, Porsha keeps interjecting with random statements that mostly consist of “really, really important” and “really, really great” as if adding an extra ‘really’ makes up for her earlier ass claps. She plays a sexed up blowup doll 99% of the time but somehow thinks she can throw on her generational civil rights cape and all of that is forgotten. Looks like someone went to the Phaedra Parks School of Prayer Cloths and Thongs. Sorry Porsha, some things can’t be built on your back.
Kim, who actually arrived right behind the other women, leaves the meeting when the congresswoman starts talking about stereotypes that Black males face.
“Statistics show that 113% of Black men have never been invited to Julia Robert’s house for lemonade. They face many evils.”
She takes Sebastian aside and uses this moment to hurriedly teach him that most of American society thinks he’s a killer or rapist or O.J. Simpson but emphasizes that if he grows up the right way, he’ll be beloved like Tiger Woods before he banged all those hookers. Phaedra says she doesn’t have the luxury to keep certain things from her sons and doesn’t think it’s smart to not be open with them anyway. Is this what having a “clean man” gets you?
Aunt Lori stops by Kenya’s house in a room I don’t recognize. Is this the same house or did we miss a hilarious 911 call of her being kicked out by yet another landlord? Anyway, Lori brings her daughter Che and they’re all super serious. Aunt Lori says she left the reunion because she got a call from Patricia, the mystery mom, asking her to tell Kenya to leave her alone. Aunt Lori says that Patricia had every right to give up her child and Kenya needs to see her side. Then in defense of her point, she says that her mom hasn’t bothered her all of these years as if that’s a good thing. Lori is supposed to be a lawyer and that’s the best argument she can make? That’s literally the issue; she wants to be bothered by her mom! Then Che says Kenya could have called ahead like her mother is a freakin’ Applebee’s and Kenya’s getting curbside pickup. I get both sides but the method they’re using to help her get over it is wrong in every way.