Welcome back to Arizona for The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yes, we are still “healing”. Next morning, Melissa seems to be miraculously healed from her birthday flu, with the exception of some chapped lips. She informs Midge that she doesn’t want to do any more healing, she just wants to lay out at the pool with a cocktail. As opposed to yesterday, when…oh, right. Jacquee and Chris are having breakfast. Specifically, the morning starter, in case that information comes into play later. They are happy to be having a peaceful breakfast. Chris asks Jacquee how things are with Ter. She says that being around Ter is good, and now she misses her. But she also drops in the “karma” comment, which Chris also interprets as possibly directed at Baby Nick. I told you that kid was taking up too much of her screen time. And who should be prancing across a bridge with 20 pounds of fake hair, but Ter herself! What an entrance. Just as Chris is saying that she says hurtful things, but perhaps it’s not her fault because she just word vomits – she literally jumps on their table to say hello. Then Midge shows up, yapping about some reservation. The response is less than enthusiastic. Actually, it’s the opposite of enthusiastic. What are we up to now, everyone asks. ”Sumpin’ do wit’ horses,” replies Midge. Upon further explanation we learn that it’s “horse healing”, and Midge doesn’t seem too excited about himself. Not so easy being the Bravo trip planning patsy. Aaaaand we’re off for another adventure on the ranch. Is anyone else getting a very special Brady Bunch episode vibe here? They get to the stables, where Ter has dressed completely for the occasion in pink hot pants and high heeled cowboy boots. Lebanese Dilbert, who we already know is no farmer, is immediately complaining about the smell of shit. They are introduced to the head horse guy, whose name is Wyatt. ”Wyatt Earp?” chortles Dilbert. No. Just Wyatt, replies Wyatt. Caro tells him he is “adorable” and he calls her “little lady”. This is weirdest flirtation I’ve ever seen. They all sit down and Wyatt tells them he’s been a therapist for 33 years, and all he sees is what’s honest in people. Oh shit. Mel tells us she’s had enough therapy and crying, and now she just wants to have fun. Well, you can’t really blame her. It does suck to have your husband offer your birthday weekend as a sacrifice to Andy Cohen. “Who’s gonna be first?” bellows Wyatt. Of course, it’s Chris Laurita. Wyatt shows him how to lift the horse’s leg and scrape the hoof. Is that what it’s called? The Brown Smurf’s immediate reaction is that he ain’t doin’ it. Ter’s not initially on board either, because animals can turn on your. People can turn on you too, she also makes sure to throw in. Wyatt finishes his speech with a warning that the horse responds only to […]
Welcome back to Arizona for The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yes, we are still “healing”. Next morning, Melissa seems to be miraculously healed from her birthday flu, with the exception of some chapped lips. She informs Midge that she doesn’t want to do any more healing, she just wants to lay out at the pool with a cocktail. As opposed to yesterday, when…oh, right. Jacquee and Chris are having breakfast. Specifically, the morning starter, in case that information comes into play later. They are happy to be having a peaceful breakfast. Chris asks Jacquee how things are with Ter. She says that being around Ter is good, and now she misses her. But she also drops in the “karma” comment, which Chris also interprets as possibly directed at Baby Nick. I told you that kid was taking up too much of her screen time. And who should be prancing across a bridge with 20 pounds of fake hair, but Ter herself! What an entrance. Just as Chris is saying that she says hurtful things, but perhaps it’s not her fault because she just word vomits – she literally jumps on their table to say hello. Then Midge shows up, yapping about some reservation. The response is less than enthusiastic. Actually, it’s the opposite of enthusiastic. What are we up to now, everyone asks. ”Sumpin’ do wit’ horses,” replies Midge. Upon further explanation we learn that it’s “horse healing”, and Midge doesn’t seem too excited about himself. Not so easy being the Bravo trip planning patsy. Aaaaand we’re off for another adventure on the ranch. Is anyone else getting a very special Brady Bunch episode vibe here? They get to the stables, where Ter has dressed completely for the occasion in pink hot pants and high heeled cowboy boots. Lebanese Dilbert, who we already know is no farmer, is immediately complaining about the smell of shit. They are introduced to the head horse guy, whose name is Wyatt. ”Wyatt Earp?” chortles Dilbert. No. Just Wyatt, replies Wyatt. Caro tells him he is “adorable” and he calls her “little lady”. This is weirdest flirtation I’ve ever seen. They all sit down and Wyatt tells them he’s been a therapist for 33 years, and all he sees is what’s honest in people. Oh shit. Mel tells us she’s had enough therapy and crying, and now she just wants to have fun. Well, you can’t really blame her. It does suck to have your husband offer your birthday weekend as a sacrifice to Andy Cohen. “Who’s gonna be first?” bellows Wyatt. Of course, it’s Chris Laurita. Wyatt shows him how to lift the horse’s leg and scrape the hoof. Is that what it’s called? The Brown Smurf’s immediate reaction is that he ain’t doin’ it. Ter’s not initially on board either, because animals can turn on your. People can turn on you too, she also makes sure to throw in. Wyatt finishes his speech with a warning that the horse responds only to […]