Hiya Trashies!
Dance Moms once again looms large on the horizon like a giant Zeppelin made of Middle Aged woman’s tears and resentments. I also promise to try and spell Ashlee’s name right this week, or at least consistently.
This week – is the ‘Maddy is leaving’ thread finally ending with her departure? Has she finally made up her mind?
Thinking – Harder than it looks for some people
I can’t help it, she just looks like the wind is whistling between her ears. The episode is ‘JoJo steals the show’, so don’t hold your breath about any resolution of the ongoing Maddy drama. Instead, get ready for more of Melissa acting like the debutante who everyone wants to dance with, and yet more Kendall/Jill based drama.
Ashlee wanders in to find a new DMom waiting.
Pah. Manga wanjee kohkpah Solo
That’s Huttese for ‘There will be no Bargain Solo’. It’s not a size joke, its because she’s evil. I can’t stress that enough, I’m a tubster and I would never attack someone for their weight, it’d be hypocritical. I attack her as she’s an evil bitch. Evil in a reality TV star way, I’m not saying she’s a murderer. As we all know, it’s not a new Mom at all – it’s Christy. Or Christ-y if you prefer. I really feel there should have been a lightning storm and thunder when she appeared.
Ashlee doesn’t recognize her, naturally enough being new. There’s some hesitant conversation and it’s revealed that she’s been invited back for the week so Sarah (her daughter) gets a shot to prove she’s worthy of being on the team. Ashlee is quick to say it won’t be Brynn’s spot she gets, but Christy has other ideas. Realistically its more likely its a warning shot to Maddy and Melissa, rather than Ashlee and Brynn.
Melissa appears and hugs Christy, and thanks her for the text messages of support. Could you ever get a less subtle ‘Screw you’ to Ashlee? Has she forgotten she hates Christy? Seems so.
The subtle art of body language.
Melissa does at least have the decency to address the fact she hates Christy but now loves her. She’s changed her ways! Oh so she’s not a titanium assed bitch anymore! She’s not Ashlee!
You have to wonder how long this detente will last. Not long, Jessalyn isn’t playing the ‘lets all like Christy because she isn’t Ashlee’ game. She still hates her.
Ok the presence of Sarah is explained as Kalani isn’t’ here this week, she has a family funeral to go to. I was waiting for Abbey to take a swipe at her commitment but she must be in a good mood as she doesn’t.
On to the Pyramid, which can’t be as mad as last week. I spoke too soon about Abbey leaving Kalani alone, she’s put her on the bottom of the pyramid as she isn’t here, despite coming second in her group. Argh I’m getting sucked into this pyramid shit again, it never fails. I don’t even think I like Kalani that much, she just passes the ‘would I start throwing things at them if I was locked in a room with them’ test that most of the cast of Dmoms fails.
Don’t let your family die or its the bottom for you
Mackenzie is next for sloppy feet and other trivial offenses against Lady Abbey. Kendall gets a sarcastic dig thinly disguised as a compliment – she didn’t break down during her dance. Give her time Abbey. Brynn wins the top spot.
Its a local comp this week, so Abbey wants them to show off how great her studio is to attract new kids in. Sensible enough. She then asks who enjoyed themselves in Vegas, and sticks her own hand up.
Turns out Abbey really did do Vegas
Good on her. She’s one of the cuter cast members so its not a surprise to see she can still pull the men. She’s no Kate Micucci of course.
Hottest woman in the world.
Its put Abbey in a good mood for once though. That is the most detail I want to hear about Abbeys bedroom antics, and far too much of my own inclinations.
The theme is going to be Micheal Jackson. Abbey claims his trademark glove was in fact a symbol of a baseball glove. That’s a new one on me, and I spent a few minutes trying to confirm this before giving up. Holly is equally skeptical, but the tribute is going to be baseball themed. It strikes me that its not going to be a very obvious MJ theme – I wouldn’t have known. I am happy to proven wrong on this if any hard-core MJ fans can shed some light on it. Dancing-wise though, who better to base a themed dance on than one of the best dancers of all time?
