Grab your rolling suitcase, your liquid poop, and your largest samurai sword, because the Shahs are going camping! Yes my faithful fans our pals went camping this weekend and it involved prayer circles, a circa 1996 RV, and printed out mapquest directions (there is NO way GG has a function printer, you know Shervin printed that), it was glorious and we are going to break it all down but first…how did our Shahs end up in the wilderness? It all started in the most unlikely place….
We opened the episode with GG nonchalantly displaying her samurai collection all over her apartment, I will be honest I wasn’t surprised for a second that GG had some type of sword collection, but I was surprised that she still is maintaining her own apartment. There is no way that her landlord knows anything about her massive weapon collection. GG is occupying her time by performing some type of light surgery on her hand. Either the coffee house/art dealer was booked up or she realized that he wasn’t actually a medical professional, either way given her apparent skills for handling sharp objects maybe this isn’t her worst idea? On second thought it probably is. Before GG can hit a major artery Asa comes over bearing gifts! She is there to try and get through to GG about her issues with the group/issues in general, the drinking, the at home surgery, all the key points. I was pretty excited to see what Asa brought GG in a cute Neiman Marcus bag, turns out it was simply the container for a thing of spicy green dip that GG likes, nothing normal happens in GG’s apartment.
Asa says that this dip has healing powers and she uses it for all of her friends, truly the diamond water of the dip world. Anyway over a healthy helping of dip Asa and GG discuss the need for the group to reconnect. GG says they need a retreat, and that she would love to go camping because GG loves camping, I told you her apartment does crazy things to people. In fact she tells us it is her favorite activity, right after throwing red velvet cake at Asifa. Can’t fault her there. Asa and GG call Reza and guess what he’s in for a camping trip!
America’s sweethearts, MJ and Tommy, are partaking in a favorite activity of all of the Shahs, getting new business cards for MJ’s real estate business. You know if MJ spent half the amount of time working on actually selling as opposed to sitting in a Papersource for 45 minutes she would be much better off but A for effort. MJ informs us that she plans to be the condo queen of West Hollywood, why sell homes when you can sell condos!? Tommy really pushes the idea of having a crown on MJ’s business card and she is not having it, however this was an opportunity for Tommy to have his own sit down interview with the show. Oh to be a fly on the wall during that. So UH YA You AH want me to uh talk about the biznass CAHDS you got it! All I really got out of this scene was MJ telling us that she does like baked beans, MJ never stop being you.
Meanwhile our other favorite couple Mike and Jessica are hanging at home. Mike is wandering around the house in a robe that was clearly stolen from a hotel and he takes this opportunity to again tell us what being a newlywed entails, you have to be home for dinner, you have to talk to other person, Mike is really ruining the surprise for millions of single people.
Jessica and Mike have another slightly nerve wracking conversation about money, for examples Jessica’s phone bill is $550, and she spent $5,000 on a tea set the other day. Now I realize why Mike is in that robe, he has consigned everything he owns to cover Jessica’s next Target/juice bar/tea set run.
Over at Asa’s house her poor parents are hard at work per usual in a space that is approx 5×5 trying to organize caftans while Asa and her intern sit in the dining room playing with photo shop. It turns out that Asa is working on her look book and it is all hands on deck! We learned that Asa’s mom is actually a nurse and she is desperate to retire and work for Asa. Can we just ensure that Department of Labor is made aware that that statement was made by Asa, not her mom.
The condo queen however has a few more tricks up her sleeve, you see she got an uber, grabbed Vida and headed out to host bingo with a drag queen! Yes, MJ is hosting bingo to promote her business at a bar in West Hollywood and just the visual of Vida at drag bingo was worth the price of admission. Jessica and Asa arrive and Vida exclaims HI JESSICA. Poor MJ you know Vida just wishes that Jessica was her daughter you know minus being married to Mike. The bingo game kicks off and it actually looks kinda fun. Asa can’t really keep up with the actual game however she develops a passion for the bingo markers and tells us that she LOVES their texture. DIAMOND WATER ENTHUSIAST, meet the newest special ingredient!