Hills and Dells
We open on a hearty, hale scene: jolly people frolicking about, raising high the roof beams, communally eating, and generally looking happy – something we a rarely see on Game of Thrones. When the guy from Deadwood came into the frame, I actually checked whether I was on the right channel. I thought maybe I had accidentally turned to an old episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or something. I stuck it out, and finally realized I watching the right show when the Hound appeared.
I instead offer you this prime Sully.
Wait, WTF? The Hound? Isn’t he dead? Didn’t he engage in an epic crotch-kicking battle with Brienne, which he lost, and then was left for dead by Arya? [I can’t find the vagina kick gif 
Sorry folks]
Yea, all that happened, but he’s somehow alive, and working to help build a church for the Guy From Deadwood’s little twee congregation (one more team for the Seven, for those keeping score). So, how did this happen? Pastor Deadwood found the rotting Hound, rescued him, and nursed him back to health. Pastor Deadwood also recognized the Hound right away – after all, he is a famously ginormous and scarred man.
Pastor Deadwood seems to have done a little number of the Hound’s soul, as well; like the Hound, Pastoe Deadwood is a reformed violence addict. Or maybe it wasn’t the pastor that changed the Hound – maybe it was being beaten by a girl, or the near-death experience, or Arya’s abandonment. Either way, he seems somewhat contrite about his previous ways, and somewhat surprised that the gods have decided to let him live.
I’m surprised as well. How come some people who get stabbed die right away (Jon, Osha, Roose, Mormont, Robb, Taleesa, Areo Hotah, Doran Martell…) and some just refuse ever to die? We need a doctor to explain some of this anatomy ish puh-leeze.
Anyway, the congregation is going on its merry little way when three randos ride up, claiming they are “protecting the people.” They need some food and horses to assist with their “protecting the people” work. Pastor Deadwood welcomes them to stay for dinner, but says they can’t give up anything else. The randos then ride away, but not without a parting line: “The night is dark and full of terrors.” This is our clue that these guys are the Brotherhood Without Banners, who were name-dropped last week and follow the same Red God as Melisandre. The Hound wants to go after them immediately and kill them, since they could come back with more men later, but Pastor Deadwood refuses to beget violence with violence.
I kind of thought these guys were supposed to be nice since they fight the Lannisters, but my memories of older seasons are of them being somewhat grizzled and creepy. Brotherhood Without Banners refresher:
Before he died, Ned sent out a bunch of knights to the Riverlands to stop the terrorizing of peasants. After he died, these knights and a bunch of other dissidents got together and formed the Brotherhood, with the mission to protect the people from the crown. Way back in season 2, Arya, Hot Pie and Gendry were captured by the Brotherhood. That’s when we learned about their connection to the Red God: their leader Beric Dondarrion has been killed many times, but he is always resurrected by the red priest Thoros of Myr. Gendry decides to stick with the Brotherhood as a smith, but then they sell him to Melisandre, who takes him to Stannis, who is betrayed by Davos, who puts Gendry on a rowboat never to be seen again!
So! Anyway! They’re supposed to be good. Buuuut they’re not, as we discover at the end of the episode. While the Hound was out chopping wood, he somehow missed an entire massacre.
we hardly knew ye, Pastor Deadwood whose name I didn’t bother to learn
The Brotherhood came back and slaughtered every single member of the happy little family, women and children included. [This seems to be a call-back to the death of Olly’s family at the hands of the wildlings. However, the wildlings started out as villains and have redeemed themselves; this seems to be the opposite.] I’m super confused about the motives of the killings. They certainly didn’t need to do that in order to take the food and resources. Was it for fun? Was it because the congregation were followers of the Seven, and the Brotherhood has been radicalized under the Fire God?
The Hound does not particularly care. He’s ready to repurpose his wood-chopping axe. The vicious cycle continues!
King’s Landing
Hoorah! The show does not make us linger in suspense over Margaery’s “conversion.” She’s still our sly girl.