CNN – This Motherfucker Actually Did It.
The white supremacist acid trip known as the Republican National Convention came to a close last night in Cleveland as Donald Trump, a dusty tangerine vacuum sac armed with nothing but a dream and the ear of the proletariat, delivered a terrifying, 75-minute vision of xenophobic glory. I think it’s time for you to bookmark this in your browser now.
The Guardian – Speaking of Chubby Little Despots with Tiny Hands
Prince George is three today! Bill and Cath were real jazzed to celebrate their little man and, as is wont of all new parents who are better than you and I, polluted our news feeds with photos of the birthday boy in the backyard. Sitting on a sweetheart swing. Cheekily peeking round the corner of a tree, perchance to spy a lady. Gaily trotting thru the moor in his J. Crew finest (or whatever the British equivalent of J. Crew is), the breeze nipping crisply through his soft blond feathered crown. Feeding tasty frozen chocolate sweets to Lupo, the faithful family hound … WAIT.
Ughhhh. So apparently the RSPCA has a total bee in their bonnet over this dumb, staged image of a toddler not knowing that ice cream and chocolate give dogs diarrhea. I’m sorry. I like animals more than babies, but there is so much more nonsense in the world to lose your mind over. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WE’RE GOING THROUGH HERE, RSPCA? Let the kid and his dog have a little fun. Shit.
TMZ – Back to the Trumps for a Sec
Here was Barron Trump, Prince George’s pasty, milquetoast nemesis, barely making it through his father’s tempestuous pledge to burn everything good to the ground. I guess Lillest Tycoon Barron forgot to pay someone to keep his eyes open and mouth shut for him.
Also, Melania makes Lucille Bluth look like a fairy godmother.
People – According to Your Logic Farrah You Probably Shouldn’t Work with Anyone… in the World
Doting responsible aware mother person something with a pulse, somewhere, I’m sure, Farrah Abraham has condemned sexxy sex professor and part time teenage mother whisperer Dr. Drew for joking about strangling her on a recent podcast. She just “can’t condone violence” anymore, and has sworn she can no longer “work” (read: sit on a couch and roll her eyes heavenward and defiantly shout over the sound of everything) with him in the future. I mean, sex swings are OK, and so is getting slapped on camera, and so is getting choked with a phallus, and so is letting James Deen plow your flesh with the merciless fury of a Spartan army, especially when it’s “accidentally” leaked by the guy who filmed it with $10,000 equipment. But joking about strangling this poor silicone science project? Dr. Drew, you’ve crossed a line.
E! – Bobby Brown had Another Daughter
I’m not touching this with a 10-foot pole, people.
Have a great weekend everybody!
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