Perez Hilton – Blake Shelton: You Can Take the Boy Out of the Possum Nest
… but ya can’t take the stereotypical backwoods tendencies out of the boy. Earlier this week, Blake Shelton apparently suggested that he was “leaning towards” Donald Trump, a big stack of silly putty that rolled around in a dog bed and now we can’t get all the fur out of it. Debra Messing takes issue with this, tweeting at Gwen Stefani (oh haven’t you heard, Gwen and Blake are an item now. I know, I don’t care or understand either), encouraging her to “talk to her man.” Gee, don’t you just love how this election is making sniveling, divisive toddlers out of us all?
People – Spotted!
A Lindsinius Lohanium in her natural habitat – very rare and majestic! These creatures are masters at making poor decisions, and this female is no exception. Here we see her feasting on a stick of carcinogens and nicotine, quenching her thirst with an alcoholic beverage, and wearing what can only be described as the most hideous bathing suit on the planet. For while their sense of smell is second to none, the eyes on the Lindsinius are far from keen.
rawr!
Us – Justin Bieber Gave Zac Efron Career Advice
“Be more selective.”
OK Justin. Hey are you available to do my tax returns? Can you check out this mole on my back? Do you know how to change my break pads? Can you do some more favors you’re highly unqualified for and in no way solicited to give?
Huffington Post – Oh Good Bradley Cooper is Not Mentally Infirm
Bradley Cooper, a highly desirable piece of the Oscar Porn Beautiful Startime Kollection (J-Hud! Deniro! Grab em all!), has a brain and does not eat shit for breakfast every morning, which means he’s voting for Hillary Clinton. He’s donated to her campaigns before and was present at the Democratic National Convention. Well, I guess that pissed off a few bros on the Trump Train, who assumed that since Cooper once suited up to play a hero what shot Ay-rabbs and agreed to be directed by a blithering, senile lunatic for American Sniper, he was one of their burly, brusque own. Now that he’s firmly come out on the side of #CrookedHillary, aka Pantsuit, aka That Bitch, these guys are losing their minds, tweeting that Bradley is “dead to them now.” Subtle, that Trump sentiment.
Us – Noted Belgian Waffles off Interview (good one, BRAIN)
I didn’t even use the word “waffle” correctly but whatever. Anyway, Jean-Claude Van Damme, an animate figure that walked off his podium at Madame Tusaud’s and is slowly melting in this merciless summer sun, was pissed off in a recent interview and stormed off the set. Jean-Claude, I barely remember you as it is. Refusing free press is not the smartest card to play right now, buddy.
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