Just a warning this post contains a lot of photos because these ladies give good face!
The episode opens with all of our ladies waking up in bed and getting their kids ready for the school day. I wonder what person at Bravo decided that a morning sequence was necessary for all the shows. I can see where they might think it would make the ladies relatable but this is my everyday reality. Melissa calls Joe to see if he can start helping her out in the morning and her kids continue their complete disinterest in all things her boutique.
Teresa’s kids are happy to have her home again to make breakfast. I am guessing Joe’s breakfasts were as good as his updos. Poor Milania, wants to know why her mom can’t walk them up the driveway and then Frankie tears outside. This is just like my house on school mornings, but how sweet is this little guy!
Frankie, walk the kids to the bus since Joe can’t be bothered.
Jac grabs Starbucks in a sneak attack to make Teresa talk feelings with her after making her husband stay up with her last night to discuss Tre for the hundredth billion time.
I just don’t understand her note didn’t say, do you want to be friends circle yes or no
I heard Teresa got really into yoga so I had better practice my headstand in case she wants to have a contest later this season
Sending out an SOS
I just wish I knew if she likes me or if she like, likes me
So you know what I am going to go over to her house and corner her with my undying need for affirmation.
Before Tre gets her Jac Attack we get a little scene of her and Joe going over bills. She lets us know that they have an old school traditional marriage. Joe takes care of all the money so she doesn’t have to worry her pretty little head about things like numbers. Now that she got in trouble for doing that and the judge didn’t think it was cute or convincing, she now reads everything before she signs it.
You better, creepy Santa is watching
Tre is vacuuming and telling Joe to get ready for yoga when her doorbell rings.
JAC ATTACK!
Jac reminisces about the past acting like Tre is her ex boyfriend who did her wrong.
She says she feels like she has been receiving mixed signals from Teresa since she been back. first with the note, then the call and wants to know where they stand. Teresa reminds her she has been back for a week and is still trying get back on her feet. She says something about how things were weird after ARIZONA…record scratch, wait when did they go to ARIZONA? After a little research I realize I missed half a season and most importantly the therapy trip to ARIZONA where Jac tried to make a storyline about Tre saying her kid’s autism was karma for her actions (she didn’t) and everyone got in touch with their emotions. Jac accuses her of being distant after that trip and Teresa tries explain that was when everything started snowballing with their legal troubles and she really couldn’t talk about anything, besides she really doesn’t send long textes. You know what might help Jacko, a jump to conclusions mat. At “camp” Tre read the bible a lot and that taught her to forgive. She is ready for a new friendship with Jac!
Funhouse Lucy and Ehthel back together yet again.
Teresa also talks about how she really got into yoga and can put her feet behind her head. Wanna see?
I was expecting something a little bit cirque du soliel than this so I was relieved this was all we got
Then in almost the same breath Teresa mentions that Milania was just asking about Jac because she has the best toys. She also is informing Jac how to make a homemade dildo because she knows Jac is kinky and likes sex toys and you know just in case her batteries ran out. I am now concerned about what toys Milania found at Jac’s house. The love fest ends when Tre suddenly remembers she has an orthodontist appointment to get her braces tightened. In my notes I wrote: braces? Must be Invisalign? The show cut to commercial and hand to God an Invisalign commercial came on. I hope they tap her for an endorsement and it is every bit as good as her Sizzle commercial.
Next Melissa, her business partner Jackie and their shop manager Derek to the city to pick out items for their boutique. For the occasion, Jackie wore her best Carrie Bradshaw in the City tutu. Melissa says something sort of bitchy about it when the wholesale salesmen comes to greet them Like Jackie is her eccentric grandma she just picked from the nursing home and had to bring with her on this errand on her way to taking her to the doctor. But she covers by saying Jackie is just in fashion and they are all behind.
Can you believe this bitch?
That is SO 1998!
This is the best picture I could get of Jackie in her entire ensemble. I hope I have the courage to not give a fuck and dress however I want when I am her age.
Melissa wants this store to be like you are walking into Melissa Gorgas closet. She mostly picks dresses, rompers and tight skirts. When Jackie and the salesman try to suggest tan silky pantsuit with red trim, Melissa drops the sweet act and turns bratty saying she doesn’t have a customer who will wear that. Um 1) you don’t have any customers yet; and 2) this how you know she’s never had a real job where she wasn’t on display. This is exactly what you wear to job where you don’t want the perverted old coot in the corner office getting too many ideas. Jackie and the sales guy try to reason with her while the gays (I am assuming) exchange the best round of “girl please” ever without saying a word.
We need a piece like this.
That’s a great set actually.
Where would you even wear this? You can’t win a JLO lookalike contest dressed like an Account Executive.
Giiiiirrrrrrllll!
Giiiiirrrrrrllll!
Its ugly and I hate it!
Patience Jackie this moron is your key to fame.
So I am going to hold onto this because the woman paying is right, not everyone wants to wear tight dresses and rompers all the time.
Seriously!
In the end they kiss and make up and Melissa tells her it’s ok she got loud and Jackie tells her she hasnt seen nothing yet.