Celebitchy – Suicide Squad‘s Reviews Are So Bad, Fanboys Want To Shut Down Rotten Tomatoes
Across the globe fanboys are getting off their mom’s couch, brushing off the Funions, and saying, “Hell No!” to critics that have a different opinion from them. Critics, and apparently anyone who has seen an advance screening of this shit show — we all kind of knew this movie was going to be terrible, right? — have panned it, but they don’t have the special relationship that these petitioners do with the movie: When you sleep on superhero bed sheets as an adult, you’re going to be pretty invested the material. Well, some dude in Egypt has had it, and wants to shut down Rotten Tomatoes for saying mean things about the movie. Never mind that it’s just an aggregate of reviews, and this dude hasn’t even seen the movie; he’s going to fight this on principal, even if it makes zero sense. Maybe, instead of getting upset at a website, perhaps direct your ire towards the real culprit: D.C., who couldn’t make a good movie to save their ass (TV on the other hand…)
Dlisted – Clint Eastwood Wants All You Pussies To Get Over the Racist Stuff That Drumpf Has Spewed
Dirty Harry here thinks we need to get off his lawn with our Pokemon and complaining about hate speech. Back in his day, you dealt with whiners by kicking them towards the back of the bus, and telling the ladies to take off those shoes and bake some damn pies. Just ignore racism like all the other old white men. Hey, can someone call the orderly and get Mr. Eastwood his pills and a cup of butterscotch pudding – his dementia is acting up again.
E! Online — JoJo Fletcher and Jordan Rodgers Make a Bet They’ll Still Be Together in One Year (Chad Johnson Isn’t Convinced)
Princess Buttercup and Westley have nothing on the true love shared between JoJo and Jordan. These two are so in luurve that they’ve made a bet with E! News that they’ll be together in one year. Duh. These two are the real deal, I mean there is nothing more real than falling in love on national television. Nothing. If they punk out — which they won’t, Chad — they’ll do a thousand jumping jacks (Jordan will do his in a banana hammock). Let’s bask in their true love for the next year, at least until August 4, 2017, when they will break up amicably because their fifteen minutes expired months ago.
TMZ – Ben Affleck Has Utility Belt FAIL
When did Ben Affleck morph into everyone’s drunk uncle Steve who causes a scene every Thanksgiving?
Perez Hilton — Rio Olympics Golf Course Overrun with Giant Rodents & Mini Crocodiles!
Golf is the most boring sport in the world — because it’s not a real sport, yeah I said it, come at me, Phil Mikkelson!– but if the event is going to turn into “man in bright colored pants vs. wild” then I’m totally in. This Olympics is going to be a disaster, and I’ll be watching (Zika-free) with popcorn.
Celebitchy – Orlando Bloom Went Paddleboarding Naked and There Are NSFW Photos
I’m dedicated to bringing you the hard (real hard) news so that you can be informed about the important events happening in this big (moderately sized) ol’ world of ours. So, for all you elf lovers out there, I give you “One cock ring to rule them all,” Keebler XXX,” or “the Real Inspiration for Katy’s song Rise (in my pants).” Katy Perry sure has a different method than I do when I ask someone to apply sunscreen to my back.