Howdy, Trashies. Welcome to another episode of Million Dollar Listing LA. Last week, we saw some crying, stomping of feet, and general temper tantrums. Enough about Heather, let’s get right to this week’s show. Oh! But before we do, I totally had a conversation about Grandma Edith tonight with two friends (hi, Lauren and Greg) who love her just as much as I do. I think it’s time we start a fan club…or a religion. Our Lady of Eternal Fabulosness Oh, hey, Captain Douche Canoe (Josh A., in case you couldn’t figure it out) is at the dentist. I hope he’s having a root canal…with no Novocaine. Oh, so Dr. Elbaz is actually a client. He wants to purchase another property in Malibu and wants to know if Josh will take the listing. Josh is, of course, obnoxious about it. He says he has a guy in Malibu and gives a phone number. Dr. Elbaz calls and Josh’s phone rings because that’s what ass holes do. Who has two thumbs and is the personification of “trying too hard”? Dr. Elbaz is looking to spend $3-$4 million…on a weekend home. So, he’s buying a vacation home less than an hour’s drive from his home because of course he is! Josh F. (hooray) is at a listing appointment with his friend Barbara who represents a family estate who made their money in the mortuary business. They’re looking to unload their condo in the Wilshire Coridor that they bought for $1 million and no one ever moved in. I wish I had that kind of money. Hell, I’d take $50 bucks right now. Josh doesn’t want to update the place when someone would just come in gut it. Since this is considered to be one of the best buildings, Josh thinks they should list at about $1.8 million based on the fact that the market has picked up. Barbara wants to list at closer to $3 million because that’s what people do on this show. They agree to list for $2 million and go from there. Meanwhile, Madison is meeting with Ivy (a buyer) about moving from Calabasas to Malibu. She wants great views with at least five bedrooms. Ivy literally just said that her kids have moved out, so why the hell does she need five bedrooms? That seems like overkill. She’s hoping to spend no more than $2.9 – 3.3 million. Madison knows that Ivy’s wish list and specific price request is going to be a challenge. Oh, and she’s also in a week into a 30-day escrow. Awesome. Madison’s “are you fucking kidding me?” face. Do we really have to go back to Josh A.? Can we just have one show without him? Anyway, Dr. Elbaz and his wife Betty are with him looking at a house. Josh tells us that he’s called every agent in Malibu he could think of except Madison, “because I don’t think of him.” You know, for someone who supposedly doesn’t give a shit about Madison, Josh […]
Howdy, Trashies. Welcome to another episode of Million Dollar Listing LA. Last week, we saw some crying, stomping of feet, and general temper tantrums. Enough about Heather, let’s get right to this week’s show. Oh! But before we do, I totally had a conversation about Grandma Edith tonight with two friends (hi, Lauren and Greg) who love her just as much as I do. I think it’s time we start a fan club…or a religion. Our Lady of Eternal Fabulosness Oh, hey, Captain Douche Canoe (Josh A., in case you couldn’t figure it out) is at the dentist. I hope he’s having a root canal…with no Novocaine. Oh, so Dr. Elbaz is actually a client. He wants to purchase another property in Malibu and wants to know if Josh will take the listing. Josh is, of course, obnoxious about it. He says he has a guy in Malibu and gives a phone number. Dr. Elbaz calls and Josh’s phone rings because that’s what ass holes do. Who has two thumbs and is the personification of “trying too hard”? Dr. Elbaz is looking to spend $3-$4 million…on a weekend home. So, he’s buying a vacation home less than an hour’s drive from his home because of course he is! Josh F. (hooray) is at a listing appointment with his friend Barbara who represents a family estate who made their money in the mortuary business. They’re looking to unload their condo in the Wilshire Coridor that they bought for $1 million and no one ever moved in. I wish I had that kind of money. Hell, I’d take $50 bucks right now. Josh doesn’t want to update the place when someone would just come in gut it. Since this is considered to be one of the best buildings, Josh thinks they should list at about $1.8 million based on the fact that the market has picked up. Barbara wants to list at closer to $3 million because that’s what people do on this show. They agree to list for $2 million and go from there. Meanwhile, Madison is meeting with Ivy (a buyer) about moving from Calabasas to Malibu. She wants great views with at least five bedrooms. Ivy literally just said that her kids have moved out, so why the hell does she need five bedrooms? That seems like overkill. She’s hoping to spend no more than $2.9 – 3.3 million. Madison knows that Ivy’s wish list and specific price request is going to be a challenge. Oh, and she’s also in a week into a 30-day escrow. Awesome. Madison’s “are you fucking kidding me?” face. Do we really have to go back to Josh A.? Can we just have one show without him? Anyway, Dr. Elbaz and his wife Betty are with him looking at a house. Josh tells us that he’s called every agent in Malibu he could think of except Madison, “because I don’t think of him.” You know, for someone who supposedly doesn’t give a shit about Madison, Josh […]