Hola Trashies! The Olympics are over so MisRed doesn’t have to be interested in sports until the Winter Olympics in two years. Who thinks Ryan Lochte would be a great match for Vicki? They are both intolerable jackasses.
I’m going to start out by saying this episode was a real snoozer.
The bore fest opens by rehashing the sh*tshow from last week, where Tamra was dubbed a “dumb f*ck” and Kelly told Shannon to “shut the f*ck up” and called her a “c*nt.” Oh and Heather made it all about her.
…AND THEN NOBODY PAID ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEE!
Then we had a rehash within a rehash because we AGAIN flashed back to Shannon’s 70’s party, and the shot heard round the world “No wonder your husband cheated on you!”
Deja Vu. All over again.
We move to Meghan’s embryo implantation day. She goes to Dr. Potter’s office with her husband Mom. This baby is going to think Meghan’s Mom is her Dad. Meghan says she misses Jimmy and texted with his assistant him. Missing Jimmy is like missing a hairball.
Why do pretty girls buy the fugliest glasses in an attempt to look smart?
Just be pretty- life will be easy for you.
Meghan tells her mom it’s a good thing Jim isn’t there because there is no way he would put up with her rehashing the events of the night before. Mom is like… “Oh now, he would never stand for that…but I want to hear all of the poop.” (I’m paraphrasing.) Meghan says that Kelly called Shannon a c*nt, and that she was appalled at Kelly’s behavior.
Kelly was so upset about someone implying that she sucks d*cks to get her bills paid and it getting back to her daughter… but she acted a disgusting fool in front of everyone at a public restaurant the night before. How is she not worried about THAT getting back to her daughter?
Dr. Potter comes in and explains they have 4 normal embryos. They took 18, 8 were biopsied, and 4 were deemed normal. Three girls and 1 boy. The boy having the lowest likelihood of implanting.
These are your future ex-husband’s potential kids.
Meghan is shocked that she only has 4 embryos. Dr. Potter says it’s pretty normal given her age and that Jimmy’s sperm was from the stone ages.
Thanks for interrupting my nap.
They get Jim on the horn, and he said “Honey, implant the ones that are the healthiest.” Just kidding. He said “OF COURSE THERE ARE THREE GOOD GIRLS!?!?!”
Jim needs flash cards to follow along
Jim asks Meghan to call him privately. He had previously discussed with Meghan that he would really like to have another son. He already has three useless females- four including Meghan, he wants a boy. They decide to put in the strong girl and the weak boy and hope for the best.
I was worried I wouldn’t get THIS SHOT again…
Dr. Potter says “no intercourse” until after the pregnancy test., which is in 12 days. Something tells me Jim is going to be okay with that.
No sex with her? That deserves a round of applause!
Meghan takes Katarina to “Storymakery” which is a shop where kids can write their own books and they bind them there, and will put the artwork onto all kinds of crappy tchotchkes. Tamra meets Heather there where they too, rehash the “Massacre at Two Chopsticks” (MisRed hopes someone gets that Tarantino reference.)
We’ll take four salmon skin hand roll and two spicy tuna rolls… to go.
Heather says she is “exhausted and damaged.” Ay yi. She further explains, at the 70’s party she didn’t like the way Kelly acted, but she doesn’t know Kelly that well so she was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Heather can’t believe she was part of such a “vulgar situation.” The last time she felt so traumatized was when the chick at the fondant bow off of her cake!!! Ok, so I added that in, I had to do SOMETHING to make this episode a little more exciting. Tamra says she felt sorry for Kelly – not for her behavior- but because she is obviously hurt and the only way she can cope is to hurt others.
How can you overlook MY PAIN!?!?!?
Ok, who is she and what has she done with the real Tamra?!?!! I know Tamra got hit with the Jesus stick, but… this is cray. Heather is proud of Tamra, and she doesn’t want to sound condescending, because it wasn’t that long ago that Tamra would have lashed out and done the same thing. Heather wonders how they will ever invite her to things again. Good point. Tamra is planning a trip for Eddiie’s birthday to Glamis Dunes (Is that Eddie’s Drag Queen name?). Nicky (Heather’s son) was really looking forward to going, but Heather can’t have him around that kind of behavior. Tamra wanted all of the girls there, but now she is not so sure.
Kelly goes over to Meghan’s in her best hooker outfit. Meghan is resting in bed. Kelly is so excited for Meghan, and Meghan shows her the ultrasound photo.
OH!!! Ok, it just clicked.
<sniff, sniff> Do you smell that? That’s right, it’s another rehash? Of all things with “hash” in them, the one I want LEAST is a rehash. The one I want most is a hash brown. #hashbrown