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Keeping Up with the Kardashians — The Digital Rage

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The Digital Rage

Hello K-fans!  Boy oh boy is this show getting tedious!    There was no rage (as mentioned in the title) whatsoever during this 60 minutes, except when Miss Ellie ran low on vodka! Let’s get this over with:  Basically there is “drama” (but not really) about Blak Chyna maybe posting some emoji’s about Kylie; there is “drama” about Khloe and Lamar, but basically just Khloe stressing out and trying to micro-manage the man; there is “drama” about Scott trying to switch Kourtney’s non-dairy, gluten-free food stuff with regular food stuff; and there is “drama” about the K-family vs. Rob/Blak Chyna/their upcoming baby (I am sure this is only to advertise the new E! show premiering in September!)

We open at Khloe’s house – Kim is telling Khloe that someone is interested in dating Kendall, or if she’s not available, then Kylie.  Gees – working through the sisters.   Khloe and Malika did crazy things the previous night – there was a lot of sinning going on. Khloe says she needs to go to church and get some holy water. Kim says she herself hasn’t sinned in years. Kim says living a content life is so good and fulfilling. (Yuck – Miss Ellie’s Vodka almost came back up!)

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Jonathon is over at Khloe’s’ with Kourtney. Khloe is still complaining about Rob. She chose not to go to the family Mother’s day celebration – she let Rob go – and she slept in because she heard Blak Chyna was going. Kourtney described it as everyone getting along and going well. Kourtney says:  “This is Rob’s girlfriend and she’s having his baby –there needs to be unity.”  Jonathon says Khloe looks like J-Lo – I think she looks like Aunt Jemima.

IMG_6156Is Khloe channeling J-Lo or Aunt Jemima?

Khloe is driving with Lamar in the car. He farts and she gets upset. He wants to get food from McDonalds and she says no, he’s on a diet. They she starts nagging him: “Do you take your medicine every morning?”  She treats him like a baby.

IMG_6157This is the smile of a man who just farted

Kourtney’s house – Scott comes over. He brought food for her —  a sandwich she used to always like.  She says she doesn’t think she can eat it anymore because it has cheese (she’s doing non-dairy) and gluten in the bread. He says she used to eat it all the time, what changed? To the camera he says:  “All of a sudden she thinks she is allergic to everything.”   She refuses to eat it.  Then there is a very disgusting scene where Scott tries to suck a vegan, gluten-free marshmallow out of Penelope’s mouth.

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IMG_6159Daddy sucks!

Lamar is eating a humongous sandwich over at Kris’s and spills all over the floor while he’s eating. Khloe says if it was anyone else Kris would cuss them out, but she allows Lamar to be a slob. Kris asks if he’s tried to play basketball at all just for fun – he says yes, that he goes to a training facility in Santa Barbara. There are a lot of pros and would-be pros working out there. Khloe says that basketball is his passion – but she needs to see some consistency and some effort on Lamar’s part. Going to a basketball camp is a big step and she doesn’t want to set him up for failure. She treats him like a baby and Kris treats him like a friend.

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Kim tells Kourtney that Chyna texted her that she’s doing animated emoji’s. Chyna had one of her kicking a tiger (which stands for Tyga) which shows that she has the power. Kim appreciates that she’s sharing things with Kim. Kim hung out with her and she had a good time – she’s so friendly.

IMG_6162Kim + Chyna = Best Friends

Khloe’s house – Malika is there.   Khloe is still going on about Lamar and the basketball camp. She nags at him:  “Why don’t you go to the boxing class I set up for you five days a week and if you can follow through for one week I’ll think about letting you go to the basketball camp.”  But he hasn’t gone once. She says she wants the best for Lamar but she doesn’t trust him.

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Scott is over at Khloe’s — in her ginormous closet.  He remarks:  “Boy, you’ve really made it when you have a closet this size!”

IMG_6165I love that a cameraman’s hand and a camera are visible in the right hand side – Sloppy!

Scott asks if Khloe thinks it’s ridiculous about all of Kourtney’s allergies. Scott says it’s not normal that they change every day. Khloe thinks its Kourtney’s hobby. He says he has allergies – lactose – but Kourtney doesn’t have any real allergies. He wants to swap out her milk and she what happens. She eats things when no one is looking.  Khloe doesn’t pay any attention to him and refuses to help him in his scheme.

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At Khloe’s – she’s complaining about some chairs that arrived which are the wrong color. (This is a H.U.G.E. problem?)  A good friend of Lamar’s calls her – she had asked him to investigate about the basketball camp. He likes the idea – Santa Barbara is a healthy environment and will be good for him.

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Kourtney is someplace getting her make-up done. She’s telling the make-up artist about Chyna’s emoji’s that came out – one is of Chyna slapping Kylie.   Kourtney gets mad – she  doesn’t understand. Just when the family is trying to welcome her and be accepting to her, Chyna does this kind of shit. Kourtney wants to confront Chyna, but Kylie tells her no, that she should just call Rob. So she yells at Rob. Rob denies that it’s Kylie in the emoji.

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Kylie is over at Khloe’s – there is so much food in her fridge. Kylie doesn’t think the emoji is of her – she doesn’t wear her hair like that. She thinks it’s a girl that Chyna hates and has had a public feud with. She talked to Chyna and she doesn’t think the family is being fair to her.

IMG_6174Talk about a well-stocked refrigerator!

Lamar has told Khloe that he is having cravings – Khloe tells him he needs to talk to someone. But he won’t help himself by taking control of his life.

IMG_6177ASS Shot

Since Khloe won’t participate with Scott in switching Kourtney’s food, Scott solicits Kylie to help him. Kylie will distract her while Scott replaces everything Kourtney has with regular dairy, regular gluten and regular soy and then they will see the result. However, while Scott is switching all the food, Kylie confesses to Kourtney what he is doing. Kourtney makes Kylie promise not to tell him that she knows.

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IMG_6182Blood is thicker than water

Kim is meeting Scott for lunch. She talks to Scott about Kourtney being all up about Chyna – she needs to calm down and be supportive — keep it light and calm.

IMG_6185Kinky boots!

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At Kourtney’s house – Kim is taking selfies.  Kim asks if Kourtney has talked with Rob – she says not since she yelled at him. They neither one can believe he hasn’t called to talk. Kourtney says it took years for people to like Scott when she was first dating him – so she understands about Chyna not being supported. They try to call Rob, but he doesn’t answer.

IMG_6187Looking for a place to take a selfie

IMG_6188Selfie moment

IMG_6189My reminder to “Send Nudes”

Kris is having lunch with Kourtney and Penelope and Mason. Kourtney tells Kris about Scott’s plan to switch her food.   She says she’s going to pretend to be really sick and that she has to go to the doctor’s. This is a great opportunity to teach Scott a lesson to get out of her business. Kris says payback is a bitch. Kourtney asks her to watch her language in front of the kids. Kris says between the food and the no-cussing, she would go crazy living with Kourtney.

IMG_6192Little Penelope, with freshly-pierced ears and a tattoo to boot!

IMG_6195I could not live with Kourtney!

At Khloe’s house — she’s on the phone with Lamar’s good friend again. He is reporting that Lamar is hanging out with bad guys again and that he can’t help it. Khloe is at a loss. He’s not going to change – this is who he is.

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Kris has called Scott over to her house– she says Kourtney is really sick and she doesn’t know what’s wrong. Kris says she’s eaten something that doesn’t agree with her. But Kourtney can’t play along – she’s laughing and not playing the part.   Kourtney confesses to Scott that Kylie told her of his scheme.  Kourtney agrees to not call her food restrictions an allergy since that has gotten Scott all hot and bothered – she will just be “pro-choice.” Then she, and Scott, start to criticize Kris about all the different styles going on in her house. – Kris excuses herself to go get a vodka (YES!)

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IMG_6199Kourtney is not so good at playing possum

IMG_6201I’m needing a Vodka!

Rob and Kim at Kris’s house – and she wants to get Kourtney on the phone so Rob and Kourtney can talk about their fight. Let’s get over it and move on. He says negative assumptions are not fair. He has never yelled at any of them so they should treat him nicely. Kourtney apologizes and all is good. Family really matters. Kourtney is excited that he will be joining Klub Kourtney and Klub Kim with having this new baby. He calls it the best club. (Miss Ellie needs Club Vodka!)

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Then we get a commercial with this promo:

IMG_6207E! is so good at self-promotion

At Kourtney’s – Khloe and Kim are there. Kim asks about last night – Khloe says she doesn’t want to talk about it – it was five steps backwards. Lamar and Khloe have spoken and he doesn’t see the way he is acting. She tells him he could die right now. Kim offers to talk to him or have Kanye talk to him. Khloe asks why does she treat him better than she treats herself? Kim tells her not to put so much energy in it – don’t baby him and be his mom. Kourtney pipes in that with Scott she doesn’t tell him don’t do this or that – it’s hard, but it’s the right way. But Khloe is afraid that Lamar will die.  Everyone had rallied around and was rooting for Lamar —  except Lamar himself.  It was moving, but now she has to be prepared for the worse and try her best.

IMG_6209ASS Shot

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Kim is talking with Kourtney – what will they do about Khloe and Lamar?   They have different opinions about how Khloe feels. Kim thinks Khloe wanted it to work out with Lamar so that they would be together, but Kourtney disagrees because the trust is gone. Kourtney says Khloe feels tied to him, but not long-term.

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Next time: Kourtney doesn’t want to give Scott the wrong message; Rob and Khloe are still at odds.


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