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Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Merv Griffin Remembered

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Another SUPER interesting episode this week. MisRed, as usual, exaggerates. Mostly, it’s just a bunch of random scenes.

So last week, we learned a few things. Shannon got a bikini wax.

shannon bikini wax

The Beadors put the nail in the coffin their marriage by renewing their vows. Kelly and Vicki think everyone wants to be them. David can “knock it out” in 15 minutes.

jim gun to head
In case you missed it last week…

And Jim Edmonds would rather shoot himself in the head than have another baby.

shannon Lettuce pray
Lettuce Pray

It’s THE DAY AFTER… The Beadors pray over breakfast at the Inn at Rancho Santa Fe- the Honeysuckle suite, to be exact. Shannon is so happy to be married and to be going to Cabo.

shannon second in spanish
I’m NUMBER TWO

Shannon is rusty on her Spanish and we learn she placed second in the national Spanish exam when she was in High School.

Screen Shot 2016-08-30 at 9.27.59 PM
Words to live by…

Alas, Shannon has to pack again for Cabo.

Shannon packing her enemas
I think I just, about, squeezed all of my enemas in…

Because she was cold, Shannon slept in a terry cloth robe. A robe over her negligee. David says he didn’t know she was wearing a negligee. Probably because he had already performed his husbandly duties during a 15-minute interlude between passed hors d’oeuvres at the party the previous evening. He knocked it out between the assorted crudités and the pigs in a blanket.  And something tells me things with Shannon are always a little “chilly.”

As they are trying to get out of the room Shannon feels that they are forgetting something…

Shannon Dr Moon are you under there?
Dr. Moon… where are you hiding?

so she looks under the beds, and amongst the junk food packages just strewn on the floor for her missing valuables. Really? You can’t put your crap in the garbage. I hate people.

Over at Meghan and Jim’s, they are also packing- but they are going to Palm Springs. Meghan tells Jimmy he got all sappy during the vow renewal.   Jimmy is like… huh?  Meghan says that Jimmy is a romantic and he would LOVE to have a vow renewal of their own.

jim edmonds- vow renewal? not ready for a magazine renewal
Vow Renewal?  I don’t even want to have a magazine renewal with you. 

Yeah. I’m sure. And MisRed would like to get a root canal without Novocain.

Meghan says that Vicki invited them to stop by the house in Palm Springs. Meghan says she would, possibly, maybe, like to try to start a relationship with Vicki- because she got a new recipe for a tasty casserole in her US magazine, plus they are going to be right around the corner.

Jim and meghan

Meghan says “When in Rome…” Jimmy says that she says that a lot- and it doesn’t make sense. It might make sense if she were using it correctly.

Example- “I’m going to Palm Springs, so I’m going to buy a caftan to wear at Kyle Richard’s house. Because… when in Rome….” See, I implied that Kyle Richards and everyone in Palm Springs wears Caftans.

Or

“I’m going to hang out with Jax Taylor this weekend so I need to brush up on my shoplifting skills because… when in Rome.”

Merv Griffin Estate

Briana and Vicki take the kids to the Merv Griffin Estate…oh, it’s Vicki’s birthday and she rented the house so everyone could get together for HER birthday.

Kelly and Tamra join them at Merv’s.

tamra kelly arrive at the merv griffin estate
Merv forgot to include the “No Skanks” policy.

No one seems to know who Merv Griffin who… or was.

Screen Shot 2016-08-30 at 10.00.11 PM
This is Merv

Kelly doesn’t know who he is but she hopes he’s single… cuz she has some bills to pay, if you know what I mean…

Screen Shot 2016-08-30 at 10.03.04 PM
Hey, someone has to pay those AARP membership dues…

The Merv Griffin Estate is HUGE, but looks like it was decorated entirely from Overstock.com. (not that there’s anything wrong with Overstock.com…)

overstock.com
See price in cart

Heather is not coming to Vicki’s weekend; she is spending time with her kids. Vicki thinks the Merv Griffin estate would be a good place to get married. She wants to be married again but to the right person- thanks for clarifying. Briana and Tamra joke that Vicki is dating a lot of people at the moment. Tamra says, in front of Briana’s boys, “Grandma is a tramp.”

Tamra says she and Briana should screen any potential boyfriends. They need to have a job and not have a record. She doesn’t care if they are bald, but they MUST have good teeth because she’s sick of Vicki spending her money on men’s teeth.

brooks teeth
Be thankful I didn’t expose you to the “close-up.”

Oh yeah, one more thing, they can’t lie about having cancer.

vicki owen just push her in she has insurance
Troy:  Just push her in, Owen, think of the INSURANCE??!?

Troy wanders off and almost falls in the water. Briana explains that it’s hard to deal with these boys on her own. She is, essentially, a single Mom until Ryan can retire from the Marines. Ryan is in the process of trying to medically retire from the Marines. Tamra says she knows what it’s like- she has two kids very close in age, they were in diapers at the same time as Eddie and she knows the struggle.


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