Dlisted – It’s Time To Leave This Planet and Get Into the Otherworldly Minds of Willow and Jaden Smith
Ok, guys, I guess I should tell you that this is my last time posting on this website. I won’t be writing online; I’ll be writing with my mind. The typed word is for earthlings, but I’m writing at a higher frequency now and my snark will now vibrate through the celestial space. Thank you, Willow and Jaden for expanding my mind. I now plan to quit my terrestrial life, and wear wacky fashion and solicit people at LAX to talk about my feelings on dreams; how I was way more authentic in the 5th grade; how we are all Barb; and, like, whether or not Duck Tales was really a Republican conspiracy to make kids heart capitalism (and diving into piles of coins).
TMZ – Tyga’s Ferrari Repo’d While Bentley Shopping!
Pedo problems, am I right?
Jezebel – Chris Brown Posts $250,000 Bail to Return to His Palace
Some people have a rainy day fund, but Chris “Rage Baby” Brown has a bail fund. Also, when will people learn to not respond to Evite’s from Chris Brown?
Pajiba – The New CBS Streaming Service is Garbage
I don’t know why CBS thought getting into the paid streaming business was a good idea considering that their target audience is still trying to figure out what a text message is, and think that Google sounds dirty. Streaming and Meemaw don’t mix.
Lainey Gossip – Thor’s New Roommate Darryl
Craigslist is so hit-or-miss when it comes to finding good roommates.