Toddlers & Tiaras continues from last week and Kim spends most of the episode whining about how she doesn’t know anything that’s going on and it’s all Jaimie’s fault. Sure.
Pretty much how I end each work day.
So Tonya lets Selyse compete (come on girl, you know your own rules! I say, throw the bum out!), but Selyse just walks across the stage and exits down the stairs. Wow, really nailed it. Even Kim missed her onstage, mostly because she was jamming Red Bull down her Whine Hole. She even says they were running late and weren’t prepared…and it was ALL JAIMIE’S fault!
Lilly looks like a fluffy cupcake and a judge with tragic hair says the dress looked cheap, but I thought it was awesome. Could have just been the sparkles, they do distract me. She nails it onstage and does a great job, and per usual, Amber cries because she’s just so damn proud! Again!
Jacquelynne, under Cambrie’s Skyping tutelage, also nails her routine like it’s nobody’s business. This kid could go pro in the pageant world, she’s really fantastic!
In Jungle Wear, Tonya tells us it’s about personality and there are “no losers in life.” I would call the kid in the mermaid costume at a JUNGLE pageant a loser, but that’s just me.
Kim gets Selyse to the stage and when Tonya asks for their music, she just says, “Oh use something safari-jungle-ish.” Tonya is both gracious but pointed when she explains that every pageant in the free world and probably intergalactically requires that you bring your own damn music. But you know, no judgment.
Kim complains. Amber cries and needs to get a grip. And then Lilly’s music was completely the wrong version, but at least Amber has the conscience to only blame herself. And cry.
SPOILER ALERT – here’s who won what: Selyse gets a divisional title, which as we all know, is first loser! Kim says they need to up their game, but perhaps they could just start I don’t know…PRACTICING!?!?
Kallyn pulls. Jacquelynne pulls and wins Beauty Photo Supreme which they are not happy about. Lilly wins Personality Supreme while Kallyn wins Face of 2016, a bigger title…and I’m wondering if perhaps these two got confused? Because Kallyn kept missing her marks and was very confused onstage and Lilly was THE WHOLE PACKAGE. Amber says the pageant was rigged while Lilly cries about not winning the cool play car. Another Cambrie girl wins the Ulta Mega Super Duper with Whipped Cream and Fried Chicken on top, so all is well in the Court.
And sure enough, traitor Kim talks to Cambrie about switching teams. I think she means pageant teams, but she is an awfully confused woman. You can tell Cambrie knows this is not the pageant mom she wants to deal with, so she suggests a consultation first so Kim understands that Cambrie ain’t screwing around and she expects a lot from her girls. Translation: YOU NEED TO PREPARE, Kim. Cambrie doesn’t take prisoners, she would smite bad pageant girls…as if she had any on her team.
Bitch, please.
Thoughts on the hot mess of Jaimie’s Sassy (Not) Supremes?