Jezebel – Ivanka Trump Faved a Tweet About Her Dad Calling Her a “Piece of Ass”
Because this entire election season has been one depressing Cheeto dusted shame spiral, here comes spawn of Orange Hitler letting everyone know that while she keeps her pussy firmly guarded during daddy-daughter skin crawl time, Ivanka doesn’t mind letting her dad pimp out her ass. It’s just what men call their daughters in the locker room, America. No biggie. I don’t know about you guys, but I am looking forward to the long bleach shower that I’m going to be taking on November 9.
TMZ – Shia LaBoeuf’s Vegas Wedding
This is what happens when hipsters go too far. It starts with brewing your own beer, and ends in a Wedding Chapel in Vegas with Elvis, a hula dancer, and the “cool” sister wife. Mazel Tov, you crazy kids. I can’t wait for your first divorce, and then what you’ll do when you decide to renew your vows. I hope your second wedding involves furries, and ironic square dancing.
Celebitchy – Bethenny Frankel On Being a Woman in Business: “I Truly Don’t See Gender”
Gee, Bethenny, then maybe you should go see your eye doctor, ’cause not being able to see gender sounds like a problem to me (suffered by millions of self-important ass hats). I guess she’s been so blinded by all those dollar signs, and the affects of her disgusting excuse for an alcoholic beverage, that she makes dumb blanket statements about being evolved. [Eye roll].
Perez Hilton – Ryan Lochte Is Confident Fans Will “Forgive Him” For Rio Robbery Lie
America’s dumb dog –that we just can’t seem to toilet train — is sure that we’ll forgive him for causing an international incident just so his mom wouldn’t get mad at him. Yeah, Ryan, America loves a comeback story, especially one with a contrived engagement with the girl you wanted to bang on Tinder.
Celebitchy – Gwyneth Paltrow’s Dad Once Called Her An Asshole & It Made Her a Better Person
Interesting…I regularly call Gwyneth a self-important twat waffle, and yet Goop still exists. Maybe her dad should have called her an asshole on the regular, or better yet, not raised a smug-stick that shills air freshener made from billionaire farts.
