Hello Trash Talkers! This week’s episode can only be described as a rebuilding episode for the rest of the season. I can only assume that we are half way there.
Siggy show up in Pharrell’s happy hat to examine the new kitchen at Delores house. Siggy asks her how much the final cost was and Delores doesn’t know but you know who would know…Frank Catania. Because Frank Catania is her personal book keeper and never forgets the cost of one red cent. In one breath she says I am getting rid of the crutches but I never really had a broken leg in the next, she says that it is his duty to help her out since his kids do live here. The kitchen looks great and finally Siggy settles into the conversation she really came over to have about Vermont. She says she saw a side of Jac never seen before. Really, never… Further, Siggy is upset that Jac went radio silent after the trip because she sent her a text saying that just because they didn’t walk out in linked arms doesn’t mean she didn’t have her back.
Siggy makes a great housewife because she is all about her feelings and having them validated. Delores still into her zoo metaphors says that Siggy has never been past the petting zoo to know how to deal with the caged animals. None of this is new to her, one minute they love each other and the next minute they all hate each other. But she does make a good point that their main issue is that they don’t know how to talk to each other and present their side of the story and finally says what no one has ever been able to admit.
The friendship died that day on the porch
Thank you baby Jesus, YES. Sometimes there are arguments and stuff said in relationships that you just can’t come back from. Just like in romantic relationships you learn from those and move on. But what they are both confused about is Melissa. They believe Jac has always had her back and cannot believe she didn’t back up what Jac was saying while she was screaming in her face calling her names and physically threatening her with her finger. I mean really!
At Envy Melissa is slut shaming her mannequins when the Pink Swan shows up to say that they are not doing well in sales.
WHAT, but I have been fiercing the heck out of every woman who comes in
Melissa is confused because they have been meeting their daily quotas. Jackie admits that it’s the online sales that aren’t doing well but as Melissa pointed out they don’t really have previous online sales to compare to. The talk turns to the fashion show and Jackie lets them know that she isn’t going to be there for it because she will be working on her tan in the Bahamas now that she has her base tan set. Then Melissa does a weird segway into how Chris Laurita was going to model their new line from Envy for the husky gents but now that her and his wife are fighting though probably not. Then she turns to Derek and says oh by the way, why does Kim D have it out for you Derek?
Why was she there, gross
Oh ok she was using it to talk about Vermont and confronts Derek about selling stories. He says all his stuff on his website about Teresa is positive. Melissa starts to say something about going through his archives but never finishes the thought. Everyone at Envy agrees the Kim did is a shit stirrer and Melissa says she was giving interviews to anyone who would pay the day Teresa shipped off to Danbury. Oh brother, really. That’s low dude.
I look into the future, my darlings… and for you, I see something… grotesque. It will sicken and disgust you! It’s me!
At Jac’s she is on the infamous back porch with Chris and Assly sitting around in color coordinated outfits and too tight jeans as normal adults do on weekday afternoon to discuss feelings. She says that Siggy and Delores are coming by but she’s disappointed in them, but again never finishes the thought. Did someone slip the cast members brownies with extra sugar in them? You know she is really pissed at them because they aren’t getting any anti-pasta platters.
They dig in and immediately Siggy starts rambling and Delores shores it up and says she wants to know if her loyalty was questioned.
WHAT, NO OMG I was like in my own world I was like so focused on Teresa and Melissa I wasn’t even like paying attention
Of course her 300 lb body double is there because Bravo knows it isn’t a jersey show without a Laurita/Manzo putting their 2 cents as if they are some sort of super human race with infinite wisdom.
She was in a cocoon of her own misery and I can see inside your soul
Siggy is relieved and is like look how calm you are, this is my Jacqueline. Jac says she was still in shock after dinner, that she couldn’t allow myself to feel because of the cold hearted snakes who were sitting across from me who weren’t reciprocating my crazy. More like they felt like hunted prey and were afraid to move in case that triggered the predator in you but potato, patatoe. Chris continues to act as Jac’s emotional interpreter because apparently Jac is incapable of forming her own sentences and communicating feelings. I really hate when the husband or boyfriends get involved and start feeding the storylines like Melissa is super terrible because she wouldn’t agree with a petulant child who was trying to get her way. Siggy begins to cry and Jac reaches out to hug her and says the words everyone wants to hear when they are in need of comfort…
Joe Gorga stops by to talk to Teresa with lunch. Right off the bat he admits that he was initially mad with Joe Giudice for involving Tre. She admits that yes she was mad but then says they trusted the wrong people. Whomp whomp wah (sad trombone). No Tre you made bad decisions. Any time someone wants, you to do something and bookends it with phrases like, “who’s going to know/find out,” or “what could possibly go wrong,” run the other way. But she is right she did help people, she helped me. Right around the time when her and Joe were always being recorded going to court my mother-in-law asked me to commit what was essentially mortgage fraud and I said HELL NO. I used Joe and Tre of examples of what could happened if you were found out and that there is no way I am going to jail because my MIL doesn’t know how to manage her money. Joe does that thing that whenever you are with someone who is going through a lot and offers to help but never really intend to follow through.
Siggy meets with Melissa for coffee and pays for a 2$ cup of coffee with $100 bill.
They sit down and start talking about Vermont, Siggy can’t believe they went from the fabulous five to enemies so quickly. Um, you all just really met and have hung out a few times so I am guessing you are counting Kathy and Rosie in that equation…. Does that make Tre Taffy Sinclair? Siggy says to Melissa that she wants to address what Jac said about everyone thinking Melissa is phony. Melissa says we all go thrown under the bus that night and why should you be any different. She admits that her first impressions of Melissa was that she was fake and a little bit self-absorbed. No! She didn’t think Mel was very deep or much invested in relationships.
I didn’t know you, not everybody is like you and wants to caress each other as soon as they meet
Siggy explains that although she doesn’t think that anymore and really likes Melissa she is not going to be attending her upcoming event.
I am not going to the envy fashion show or the posche one either so it’s totally cool
Why are you punishing me with having one less cast member there, don’t you know how that’s going to look
Even thought she didn’t ask me to not go, I know if I go it’s going to hurt Jacqueline
But you are going Jac’s event right, then you are picking sides
Siggy starts in about how much Jac cares about her and Melissa says no I don’t care she said stuff to intentionally hurt Teresa and me. She loves me I am her friend. She hates me she exposes me. Siggy asks why she couldn’t admit in Vermont and answer that one question Jac so desperately needed her to answer. Melissa is like well for one, she yelling and pointing in my face and two, she never called me to warn me that some guy is going to show up tonight and say you were a stripper. What she said was someone is going to get it tonight, I don’t know who or what it is but I think its Danielle Staub. Basically she confirmed a huge rumor that that the big reveal was supposed to be Danielle Staub showing up to the event to say that YES Melissa was befriending her to try to get on the show. BUT something happened and she backed out and they went with the former boss. They keep showing this clip from 2011 so I am going to just say it Tre looks better with less eye makeup. Siggy says you don’t think that Jac had anything to with that do you? Melissa has says she doesn’t care, Strippergate is so long ago, who cares.
I will climb this pole and make it be true
Delores goes shopping for Easter with her mom Valerie, who is my new favorite person on this show. In front of what can only be described as a ChrEaster Tree Delores starts talking about tradition and how Joe is going away soon but Tre is going to stay with Joe. Valerie is like yeah well that’s how she was raised. Delores is like yeah me too but I gave up on the Italian American Dream and her mom points out she didn’t really have a choice in the matter. Delores is like yeah but it’s so in my DNA to be old school.
Valerie is amazing! Delores talks more about being comfortable in her new independent skin and her mom talks about finding her own voice and its sort of sweet.
Delores and Jac are meeting with Kim D at the backroom of Nuovo Vesuvio. Jac is here at lunch to discuss with Kim what else but strippergate. She is eager to get it on camera and with Kim D to have her confirm on record that she was not the mastermind behind it. But in this version of the story it was Teresa and Melissa who brought it up on the trip not Jac.
Are you sure about that…
Kim D confirms with her eyebrows that she knows who it was. Phew, well OK I am know I am relieved, as I have been sitting on pins and needles for the last five years wondering the same. They say they wish Siggy was here, oh this must be the posche fashion show. OK this makes a lot more sense why they accosted what I thought was the hostess to ask her why her boobs were so perky and were they taped. Delores says Siggy is straight shooter and that she isn’t even going to the Envy fashion show. Kim D is like OMG ANOTHER SCANDAL I HAVE MADE ON RHONJ maybe now I can be a cast member. Jac brings up that they are having a tiny popcorn event in the on Friday and they are all invited except Teresa and Melissa. Kim says that’s fine they probably wouldn’t want to go anyway since Teresa will be probably want to be spending all her time with her husband since he is going to prison soon AND she should be divorcing anyway. Delores says that’s not in her mindset. Kim D asks do you think she doesn’t know or just doesn’t care?
Know what
Kim D is referencing the Radar Online stories that Joe was cheating and Delores says she thinks she said something to him and moves on from there. To Jac’s credit she doesn’t really say anything or pile onto in this gossip, which I am sure was Kim D’s intent. Delores excuses Kim D for being an ass by saying that’s just in her DNA. I think Delores is confused by what DNA really is and how it works in the body.
Here are some stunning fashions from the show:
The girl in purple is my face twin during this display of FASHUN
Sushi lunch with Siggy, Delores, Teresa and Melissa. Siggy is now coming to the envy fashion show even though she didn’t go to the posche show. Delores eludes that there was some shit talking about Teresa and Melissa but doesn’t disclose what. Teresa attempts to start talking about how crazy Jacqueline is and Delores shuts her down.
I don’t want to talk shit about Jac and I won’t let her talk shit about you, capisce
So are we not going to count the shit we know you and Siggy have already talked about Melissa
Time for the Tiny kernel event. Siggy says her kids obsessed with the popcorn and tells Jac she is going to Melissa’s event. Kim D shows up as well as Kathy and Rosie. Delores mentions that she hosting a women’s event at her gym and Siggy tells her to make sure that she has it after Joe leaves on Wednesday.
You can tell in Jacqueline’s mind this her dream cast for RHONJ
Jac admits that Joe did invite Chris to a going away party but Jac isn’t going to go.
Chris gives a speech, of course is sure to talk about his sons autism as a way to mention an undisclosed amount of the proceeds will be donated to some autism charity, hopefully one that they haven’t ripped off yet. And then he makes the BIG announcement….
I am going to be a glamma but I still got my tits out and sparkly chain that hangs right between my cleavage to draw the eye
Everyone is thrilled and ASsly is excited to be a hot mom. I really hope she recorded that in her special moments section of her kid’s baby book. She immediately wants to text Albie and Jac tells her to go ahead and send a family text. Speaking of the Manzo’s why are they not at this blessed event? Delores takes Chris to the side and tells him not to go to the party to say goodbye to Joe because of all the things that just went down in Vermont and the people it happened with. She says you need to send a statement that this is my wife and I stand behind her.
In the oddest moment in RHONJ history Delores and Tre meet at the church. They once again discuss staying in marriages and being old school.
Wow Joe was really good lucking when he was young AND you can see that No. 2 and 4 really do take after him.
Delores says that had she been in Tre’s position she would have stayed and Tre says had she been in her’s she would have left because that’s a going back on oath they said before God. It’s a question of loyalty.
Are you there God, its me Tre
Oh Delores you sneaky bitch, you gave her a chance to redeem herself on the rumors without telling her on camera what Kim D said and at a church. You are good. You may be an asset to this show after all.
If you are looking to read the rantings of a lunatic I suggest you check out Jacqueline’s blog this week. Despite having video proof she is standing by her convictions of being attacked, that Tre brought up strippergate and keeps dredging up the past and other completely nonsensical items that she has already been proven to be wrong about. I have now come full circle on her at first I thought it was pills, then maybe booze, perhaps emotional issues with anger, to pulling the idiot schtick for the show and know I believe she is mentally ill. If you can’t admit your shortcomings when faced with them head on, you have serious issues and a deluded sense of reality.
So what did you think of this episode? Did you enjoy Siggy’s trail of tears across suburbs if Jersey or did it seem forced. And what do you think of Delores? Two-faced or the real deal when it comes to being cool with everyone? Most importantly how do you think the rest of the season will roll with Jac and Tre at odds?
Next week Joe says goodbye. Jac has a riveting scene with Assly about childbirth. Jac gets emotional about seeing pictures of Tre and Joe and no doubt will want to reach out. If you missed my recap and breakdown of the previous episode please check it out here https://www.trashtalktv.com/10/06/rhonj-recap-ffs/398814/
