Hi Trashmii! So this week on OUATIW, something actually happened! I’ve been sick in bed all week and have to run out the door for a rehearsal in a few hours, so let’s get right to it. Anastasia and Not-Jake are about to jump through the lookingglass when her mother shows up to ruin everything. Mom followed them to their Briar Rose cabin hideout and tells Anastasia that she’s going to ruin her life. She wanted her daughter to be a queen, but now she’s going to run away and ruin everything. (Note, the mom is also wearing an improbable corset over her clothing. I think the costume designer is obsessed). Mom says she worked her entire life so her daughter could move up, but clearly Anastasia isn’t princess material. Oh my goodness, is she Lady Tremaine? Is Anastasia really Cinderella’s step-sister after all? Yes, please. This bitch is fabulous.Mama tells Anastasia that she can’t live on love and once she learns that, she’ll come crawling back. The only way she’ll be allowed back into her mother’s house, however, is to clean it. “At least I still have your sisters.” Drizella? No, not you, Drusilla. You’re too fabulous for this show. That’s more like it. You can stay.Not-Jake tells Anastasia that he’ll make a beautiful life for her where she can be what she truly is, and not just what he wants for her to be. Awww. He’s a sweetie. So how long before she dumps his sorry ass? Opening credits!Anastasia, now the Red Queen, is Indiana Jonesing it up on the cliff that she threw Cyrus off of. Well, ok. Meanwhile, Alice is covering Statue Not Jake with a blanket to protect him from rain and snow. He’s a statue. I don’t think he’s going to get cold, but I suppose it’s a nice gesture. Alice apologizes for what happened to him and reassures him that as soon as she finds Cyrus, she’ll save him. If only she knew where Cyrus was! ”Good thing I do! Now stop pointing that sword at me, and let’s make a deal. Bitch.”Queenie says that Jafar is just a means to an end for her. Huh. Alice taunts her that Not Jake was just a means to an end, too. Aww, that’s not nice. Red Queen wants Alice to fetch some fairy dust for her and in return, she’ll tell her where Cyrus is. Fairy dust will protect her from Jafar’s magic, which coincidentally is hiding Cyrus from sight. “If you want to find Cyrus, I’m your best bet. Your only bet, actually.” Let’s talk about this guy!Jafar has this guy acting like is own private Sisyphus, carrying heavy rocks up a flight of stairs over and over again for no reason. Ok, so I thought this guy was a genie or Iago, but now I’m thinking he’s the sultan. Old guy says that he has something Jafar wants and will never get, but until he gives it up, Jafar will punish him. What […]
Hi Trashmii! So this week on OUATIW, something actually happened! I’ve been sick in bed all week and have to run out the door for a rehearsal in a few hours, so let’s get right to it. Anastasia and Not-Jake are about to jump through the lookingglass when her mother shows up to ruin everything. Mom followed them to their Briar Rose cabin hideout and tells Anastasia that she’s going to ruin her life. She wanted her daughter to be a queen, but now she’s going to run away and ruin everything. (Note, the mom is also wearing an improbable corset over her clothing. I think the costume designer is obsessed). Mom says she worked her entire life so her daughter could move up, but clearly Anastasia isn’t princess material. Oh my goodness, is she Lady Tremaine? Is Anastasia really Cinderella’s step-sister after all? Yes, please. This bitch is fabulous.Mama tells Anastasia that she can’t live on love and once she learns that, she’ll come crawling back. The only way she’ll be allowed back into her mother’s house, however, is to clean it. “At least I still have your sisters.” Drizella? No, not you, Drusilla. You’re too fabulous for this show. That’s more like it. You can stay.Not-Jake tells Anastasia that he’ll make a beautiful life for her where she can be what she truly is, and not just what he wants for her to be. Awww. He’s a sweetie. So how long before she dumps his sorry ass? Opening credits!Anastasia, now the Red Queen, is Indiana Jonesing it up on the cliff that she threw Cyrus off of. Well, ok. Meanwhile, Alice is covering Statue Not Jake with a blanket to protect him from rain and snow. He’s a statue. I don’t think he’s going to get cold, but I suppose it’s a nice gesture. Alice apologizes for what happened to him and reassures him that as soon as she finds Cyrus, she’ll save him. If only she knew where Cyrus was! ”Good thing I do! Now stop pointing that sword at me, and let’s make a deal. Bitch.”Queenie says that Jafar is just a means to an end for her. Huh. Alice taunts her that Not Jake was just a means to an end, too. Aww, that’s not nice. Red Queen wants Alice to fetch some fairy dust for her and in return, she’ll tell her where Cyrus is. Fairy dust will protect her from Jafar’s magic, which coincidentally is hiding Cyrus from sight. “If you want to find Cyrus, I’m your best bet. Your only bet, actually.” Let’s talk about this guy!Jafar has this guy acting like is own private Sisyphus, carrying heavy rocks up a flight of stairs over and over again for no reason. Ok, so I thought this guy was a genie or Iago, but now I’m thinking he’s the sultan. Old guy says that he has something Jafar wants and will never get, but until he gives it up, Jafar will punish him. What […]