Previously on Almost Human – remember, there’s robot police? But like, different types. specifically most of them are dicks except for one. alrighty then. Also your recapper has a wicked cold so I’m hopped up on a cocktail of medications designed to take down a small army so I apologize in advance for any incoherent babble. 7am. future alarm clocks suck. john wakes up. Remember how he has one leg? Me too. So does his alarm clock which offers a “leg report” which seems like a harsh thing to wake up to every day but maybe it’s a handy app. Any thoughts on what the leg report entails? There’s an app for thatJohn has more presence of mind than me because he remembered to charge his bionic leg last night. Leg goes on, he does some squats to check out how squeaky his leg is (and as a special treat for me) and oils his leg with olive oil. because this was supposed to be episode 2 and last week was episode 5. Whatever network executives, do what you want, I’ll keep watching. Also last week his leg was chirping about being improperly calibrated, not squeaking. Don’t you have a continuity intern keeping track of these thing? Whatever, the oil worked. Tall office building, there’s a guy who looks a tiny bit like Jerry O’Connell (kind of when he moves his face) chipperly walking through the office saying hi to everyone.He’s really nice and likeable so we can all assume he’ll die soon since this show seems to have an active vendetta against any character capable of bringing me joy. Fake Jerry walks into the office of a generic bruntette (Miss Miller) – she left her keys somewhere, he’s returning them. He also has a package for her. yeaaaaah he does. I’m gonna need you to sign for thatFake Jerry goes to the front desk where he is the security guard, and guy walks in dressed entirely in black with a turtleneck. Let’s assume he’s a bad guy. Is there a turtleneck dress code I don’t know about on this show? Probably a bad guyAnyway our bad guy walks up to Fake Jerry, points a gun at him and says “what’s your name?” ….”James” yeah he gets shot almost immediately. happy well-adjusted people do NOT seem to last on this show. well noted. The bad guys fan out, shooting anyone with bad enough luck to be standing in hallways throughout the building. Some goons drill a hole in the floor and take what looks like a LED lamp and install it said hole. It starts blinking red and makes a high pitched whirring noise, so we all know it’s a bomb. I bet this building is just filled with puppies and orphans too. Someone should really do something. Probably a bombDorian and John are in the car. Dorian bitches that John is late. John tells Dorian his only use in the workplace is as a coffee warmer (“I like it […]
Previously on Almost Human – remember, there’s robot police? But like, different types. specifically most of them are dicks except for one. alrighty then. Also your recapper has a wicked cold so I’m hopped up on a cocktail of medications designed to take down a small army so I apologize in advance for any incoherent babble. 7am. future alarm clocks suck. john wakes up. Remember how he has one leg? Me too. So does his alarm clock which offers a “leg report” which seems like a harsh thing to wake up to every day but maybe it’s a handy app. Any thoughts on what the leg report entails? There’s an app for thatJohn has more presence of mind than me because he remembered to charge his bionic leg last night. Leg goes on, he does some squats to check out how squeaky his leg is (and as a special treat for me) and oils his leg with olive oil. because this was supposed to be episode 2 and last week was episode 5. Whatever network executives, do what you want, I’ll keep watching. Also last week his leg was chirping about being improperly calibrated, not squeaking. Don’t you have a continuity intern keeping track of these thing? Whatever, the oil worked. Tall office building, there’s a guy who looks a tiny bit like Jerry O’Connell (kind of when he moves his face) chipperly walking through the office saying hi to everyone.He’s really nice and likeable so we can all assume he’ll die soon since this show seems to have an active vendetta against any character capable of bringing me joy. Fake Jerry walks into the office of a generic bruntette (Miss Miller) – she left her keys somewhere, he’s returning them. He also has a package for her. yeaaaaah he does. I’m gonna need you to sign for thatFake Jerry goes to the front desk where he is the security guard, and guy walks in dressed entirely in black with a turtleneck. Let’s assume he’s a bad guy. Is there a turtleneck dress code I don’t know about on this show? Probably a bad guyAnyway our bad guy walks up to Fake Jerry, points a gun at him and says “what’s your name?” ….”James” yeah he gets shot almost immediately. happy well-adjusted people do NOT seem to last on this show. well noted. The bad guys fan out, shooting anyone with bad enough luck to be standing in hallways throughout the building. Some goons drill a hole in the floor and take what looks like a LED lamp and install it said hole. It starts blinking red and makes a high pitched whirring noise, so we all know it’s a bomb. I bet this building is just filled with puppies and orphans too. Someone should really do something. Probably a bombDorian and John are in the car. Dorian bitches that John is late. John tells Dorian his only use in the workplace is as a coffee warmer (“I like it […]