Greetings, Trashies! My office is closed due to snow, so you’re getting this crazy early. I said my piece in the minicap about JP’s recent bullshit. There’s no point rehashing it here. After everything that came to light recently, JP just comes across as more and more insincere every time I see him. Last season, I complained about Sean and how boring he was. However, unlike JP, I think he was really a genuine guy. As naive as it makes him, I honestly can say I think he was trying to fall in love on the show. I never thought I’d miss you. Anyway, this episode starts with a few the ladies speculating who will get a date today. Kelly tells us that a lot of love has come out of this show and she and JP could be the next story. The next story of what? Two people that “fall in love” on TV and then break up after they realize the entire relationship was producer manipulated? Chris Harrison shows up wearing the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen. It’s like the manufacturer ran out of each shade of blue and hoped no one would notice. He’s here to announce that there will be two one-on-one dates and one group date. Chris leaves the first date card for…Cassandra! Are they going to the playground? That’s about as age appropriate as you can get for Cassandra. Renee is emerging as quite the little bitch. She tells that as soon as JP isn’t feeling it with Cassandra, he’ll send her home. Ah. A bitch and master of the obvious. Thanks for telling us how the show works, Renee. We cut to JP spending some court ordered time with Camila. After everything that has been revealed about his lack of child support, I can’t help but feel like she’s just being used as a prop in this show. It’s one thing for adults to sign up to make a spectacle of themselves on TV. It’s another thing to force child to take part in this sick game. Has anyone called child protective services yet? Cassandra arrives and she and JP get into a car and head over to the water. In fact, the car goes right into the water. Please let it sink. Please let it sink. Please let it sink. I guess the car turns into a speedboat. That’s kind of cool. It looks a little weird to see a car on the water, though. Cassandra tells us that her last first date was three years ago. Isn’t her son three years old? Well, that tells me all I need to know. Back at the house, Renee and…someone that I don’t recognize are talking. It’s the chick with the dead mom. Who was this? Is that Christy? I guess her mom, with the last of her strength, wrote a letter for her daughter to be on The Bachelor. I hope that’s not the last memory I end up having of my mom. Back on […]
Greetings, Trashies! My office is closed due to snow, so you’re getting this crazy early. I said my piece in the minicap about JP’s recent bullshit. There’s no point rehashing it here. After everything that came to light recently, JP just comes across as more and more insincere every time I see him. Last season, I complained about Sean and how boring he was. However, unlike JP, I think he was really a genuine guy. As naive as it makes him, I honestly can say I think he was trying to fall in love on the show. I never thought I’d miss you. Anyway, this episode starts with a few the ladies speculating who will get a date today. Kelly tells us that a lot of love has come out of this show and she and JP could be the next story. The next story of what? Two people that “fall in love” on TV and then break up after they realize the entire relationship was producer manipulated? Chris Harrison shows up wearing the ugliest shirt I’ve ever seen. It’s like the manufacturer ran out of each shade of blue and hoped no one would notice. He’s here to announce that there will be two one-on-one dates and one group date. Chris leaves the first date card for…Cassandra! Are they going to the playground? That’s about as age appropriate as you can get for Cassandra. Renee is emerging as quite the little bitch. She tells that as soon as JP isn’t feeling it with Cassandra, he’ll send her home. Ah. A bitch and master of the obvious. Thanks for telling us how the show works, Renee. We cut to JP spending some court ordered time with Camila. After everything that has been revealed about his lack of child support, I can’t help but feel like she’s just being used as a prop in this show. It’s one thing for adults to sign up to make a spectacle of themselves on TV. It’s another thing to force child to take part in this sick game. Has anyone called child protective services yet? Cassandra arrives and she and JP get into a car and head over to the water. In fact, the car goes right into the water. Please let it sink. Please let it sink. Please let it sink. I guess the car turns into a speedboat. That’s kind of cool. It looks a little weird to see a car on the water, though. Cassandra tells us that her last first date was three years ago. Isn’t her son three years old? Well, that tells me all I need to know. Back at the house, Renee and…someone that I don’t recognize are talking. It’s the chick with the dead mom. Who was this? Is that Christy? I guess her mom, with the last of her strength, wrote a letter for her daughter to be on The Bachelor. I hope that’s not the last memory I end up having of my mom. Back on […]