Hey Trashmies! I’m going to get right to it, because last week was mostly uneventful, and it’s everyone’s favorite episode… hometowns! Our first stop is Dallas, TX, home of everyone’s favorite shirtless Drilling Engineer, Zak. She walks hand-in-hand with him through a park as he jokes about being raised by wolves. He launches into a story about a dream he had: Zak and Des were on a beach, and the sun melts them into the sand, and then it all becomes a little confusing when there is snow in a cup, and children, or something. He leaps over a fence with the effortless grace of a gazelle, and returns in a Sno-Cone truck. Des claims this brings her back to her childhood, which raises some concern about child labor, but I digress.The Sno-cone truck is a family business, and Zak’s next stop is an elementary school. The adjoining park looks suspiciously like the park they were JUST hanging out in. “Okay guys, we could only get a filming permit for one location, so just circle the block a couple of times in the truck and look like you’re having the GREATEST time! Zak, why don’t you put that cheap lei on. Okay? Action!” It’s still unclear what Zak’s intention is with this exercise. Is he implying that if Des marries him, she must put in her hours with the family sno-cone business? Des and Zak pump all the kids with sugar, and fawn over how great they both are with children. Des also “loves his spontaneity.” Which I think is code for “You put that musty penguin thing on? You better take a shower before you come over here and touch me.”Zak and Des walk into Zak’s parents house to the fanfare of much screaming courtesy of his mother and sister. Des says “their energy is amazing.” The ladies of the family very conveniently ask about Zak’s limo introduction, and of course, they all have a good laugh. They sit around the dinner table and roll their eyes about Zak’s nakedness, and Zak’s mom tries to convince Des to give Zak one of her garden roses. But it’s time to get Serious. Zak’s mom wants to know if Des feels like she really knows the guys, and Des assures her that she does. ::cough cough:: Excuse me, I must be getting a cold or something. I mean, I certainly wasn’t implying that over only six weeks of dating 25 guys, one wouldn’t have all the relevant information one needed to choose one of them and marry him. Never. Zak’s mom does most of the talking about “just knowing” when you meet the right person, because it’s something hackneyed her mother told her. By the end of the very one-sided conversation, Zak’s mom seems ready to marry Des herself. Zak’s sister is mostly concerned about whether or not her brother is in the friendzone, and Des assures her that he is not. She says Des is awesome, and Zak is happy, [...]
Hey Trashmies! I’m going to get right to it, because last week was mostly uneventful, and it’s everyone’s favorite episode… hometowns! Our first stop is Dallas, TX, home of everyone’s favorite shirtless Drilling Engineer, Zak. She walks hand-in-hand with him through a park as he jokes about being raised by wolves. He launches into a story about a dream he had: Zak and Des were on a beach, and the sun melts them into the sand, and then it all becomes a little confusing when there is snow in a cup, and children, or something. He leaps over a fence with the effortless grace of a gazelle, and returns in a Sno-Cone truck. Des claims this brings her back to her childhood, which raises some concern about child labor, but I digress.The Sno-cone truck is a family business, and Zak’s next stop is an elementary school. The adjoining park looks suspiciously like the park they were JUST hanging out in. “Okay guys, we could only get a filming permit for one location, so just circle the block a couple of times in the truck and look like you’re having the GREATEST time! Zak, why don’t you put that cheap lei on. Okay? Action!” It’s still unclear what Zak’s intention is with this exercise. Is he implying that if Des marries him, she must put in her hours with the family sno-cone business? Des and Zak pump all the kids with sugar, and fawn over how great they both are with children. Des also “loves his spontaneity.” Which I think is code for “You put that musty penguin thing on? You better take a shower before you come over here and touch me.”Zak and Des walk into Zak’s parents house to the fanfare of much screaming courtesy of his mother and sister. Des says “their energy is amazing.” The ladies of the family very conveniently ask about Zak’s limo introduction, and of course, they all have a good laugh. They sit around the dinner table and roll their eyes about Zak’s nakedness, and Zak’s mom tries to convince Des to give Zak one of her garden roses. But it’s time to get Serious. Zak’s mom wants to know if Des feels like she really knows the guys, and Des assures her that she does. ::cough cough:: Excuse me, I must be getting a cold or something. I mean, I certainly wasn’t implying that over only six weeks of dating 25 guys, one wouldn’t have all the relevant information one needed to choose one of them and marry him. Never. Zak’s mom does most of the talking about “just knowing” when you meet the right person, because it’s something hackneyed her mother told her. By the end of the very one-sided conversation, Zak’s mom seems ready to marry Des herself. Zak’s sister is mostly concerned about whether or not her brother is in the friendzone, and Des assures her that he is not. She says Des is awesome, and Zak is happy, [...]