Hello trash bags! Welcome back to another week of quality television recapping. Something stinks this week and I am willing to bet all of my dismal life savings that it has something to do with the fact that the piece of shit Joe is back in the house!
If you remember, we left off last week with Joe returning late at night only to be immediately greeted by Janice with her game of 20 questions. Janice finally gets to the hard-hitting (seriously, you guys, no pun intended, they just happen) questions and asks Joe if it is true that he has beat women. Because he does and he has beat women, Joe can’t bring himself to flat out say “no” so he dances around the question until he finally responds with “a gentleman doesn’t hit women.” Janice says that isn’t what Kaylin said and the gentleman says he doesn’t give a FUCK what Kaylin says. What a nice guy, how could anyone accuse him of acting so disrespectfully towards women? I just don’t see it.
Janice explains that this issue has affected her because of her painful past with her abusive father. Joe is bored with the conversation and makes a cocky joke about making sure Janice has security around him. I got an A- in psychology 101 in undergrad so I can very confidently assess that Joe is guilty as fuck. He asks people’s questions back at them to give him a chance to think of a lie, can’t make eye contact when he is lying, and, oh yeah, he’s fucking lying. I’m not convinced that this ass hole is innocent and neither is triple black belt Janice. Janice asks Joe if he was beat by his father. He says he was not but his mother did hit him as a child, but “in a black household, that’s good parenting.” He continues and says that he is “definitely down with beating children” despite Janice’s disagreement and I feel so fucking gross, I need to go take a shower.
Who?
Alright, I’m back and so is Carmen, rolling up the driveway in the backseat of a minivan. She wasn’t expecting to see Joe back in the house but she still goes up to talk with him anyways. Joe is annoyed he has to lie about not hitting women again and tells Carmen that Janice doesn’t seem to believe his unconvincing defense. This reminds Carmen to bring up what Janice had told them about Joe’s rude comments about her anatomy and sex life with Adrian. Joe gives his best attempt at a dumbfounded look and explains he was only curious about what Adrian’s sexuality is. He says Janice is lying about what he said and tries to manipulate Carmen into thinking he is perfectly harmless. Adrian comes outside and cuts the conversation short, telling Carmen to come to bed and is angry that she didn’t let him talk to Joe about the matter.
Neil, Scott, Joe, and Joe’s giant booger that is hanging out of his nose are outside drinking coffee and Scott informs Joe that based off Kaylin’s testimony, everyone thinks that Joe is a woman beater. Joe tries to flip the situation by saying that Kaylin is being malicious and trying to hurt him. Joe emphatically expresses that he doesn’t hit women and that he has NEVER had an anger problem. Right, because someone who talks like a condescending prick to almost everyone he interacts with are usually very peaceful folk.
Joe goes to speak with Kaylin and he makes a sloppy argument in his defense about how nobody has any evidence or facts. Kaylin brings up that more than one woman have similar claims with pictures to prove the abuse. Being the Zen individual he is, Joe begins to raise his voice and not let Kaylin get a word in edgewise while he continuously repeats things like “Google”, “facts”, and “so you don’t know?” Realizing that manipulating Kaylin’s thoughts will be harder than it was with Carmen, Joes decides to leave the conversation to talk with Adrian.
What?
Adrian expresses that he is upset with what Joe said about himself and Carmen. Joe contorts his face in his best attempt at looking puzzled (even though he was already aware of this situation) and tells Adrian that these allegations are ridiculous. Adrian is initially skeptical about Janice lying but he is such a push over that he ultimately lets Joe convince him that Janice was simply mistaking in her information she relayed to him.
Content with himself for successfully convincing two cast mates that he is not capable of doing anything wrong, Joe walks with a smug pep in his step as he goes to confront Janice. Janice, smoking and drinking a venti Starbucks drink in her Little Edie fur coat, is surprisingly calm as she explains her feelings about the situation to Joe. Gentleman Joe is dismissive of Janice and tries to flip the situation on Janice. Joe wants to the attention off himself and so he starts to make comments about Janice’s relationship with Rocky and how unstable she is.
When?
An expert escorts Joe and Kaylin to speak with Dr. Jenn. Joe thinks that Kaylin is assassinating his character because she was talking to the others about opinions they had already formed regarding Joe when she wasn’t even in the house. Kaylin admits she had never talked to Joe about his alleged past with domestic abuse, but explains it is because she was afraid to ask. Joe starts to get mad and tries to gain control of the situation by using words like “accusatory” and “cavalierly” to look smart. Despite his attempts to convince Kaylin of his innocence, our smart gentleman is mad that Kaylin is expressing fear, most likely because she isn’t helping him cover up the fact that he is a sociopathic woman beater.