The Walking Dead Recap: Don’t Stop Believin’
Hey there trash bags! I’m glad to see you again. Sorry this post was a little late but I wanted you to have time to process what the fuck just happened. Plus, I was really busy. Objectively speaking,...
View ArticleFace Off Season 9 Finale – Part 2
This is it guys, another season, another finale. A year ago, on season 7’s finale night, I was in labor about to give birth to my daughter, so it’s funny to use Face Off season’s as a measurement of...
View ArticleRHOC Recap: Call Me Girth Brooks
Hey y’all, it’s time for part two of the RHOC Reunion, and I was expecting a full hour dedicated to Brooks’ cancer-gate, but halfway through we are still talking about Shannon shoving things up her...
View ArticleHand of God Episode 7 Recap: Scared Straight
Confession: I caved in to my husband and binge-watched the rest of the episodes last weekend, you guys. I’m so disappointed in myself because I didn’t want to watch ahead of my recaps, because I can...
View ArticleAHS Hotel Recap: You’re all invited to Devil’s Night
We open at the hotel where Richard Ramirez is checking in with his standing reservation for Devil’s Night. Charles Manson won’t be making it again, because that bastard is still living it up in San...
View ArticleDWTS Recap: Happy Halloween
Hey there, Trashies. Are you ready for something really scary? No, I’m not talking about Paula’s dancing. She’s long gone! It’s Halloween Night on Dancing With the Stars. So, yeah, we’re going to get a...
View ArticleCouples Therapy Recap: The One Where Janice Freaks Out
Hello trash bags! Welcome back to another week of Couples Therapy. For those of you who missed last week’s episode, resentful Big Ang thinks her husband Neil is a complete dumb ass and she claims she...
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Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Premiere Recap: White Lace and Promises
Howdy Trashmii! Ari Safari here, and I am beyond thrilled to take on this Very Special Assignment — recapping the finest prime, Grade A smut Miss Andy and the gang at Bravo have to offer: season 4 of...
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Podcap: Empire “High Hope for a Low Heaven”
I’ve been going through so much withdrawal in the last week, y’all! So happy to see Hakeem survive his abduction by the Chicago Bulls. Also, do you think he was sexually assaulted in that Ice Cream...
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Botched: Breast Greedy (Episode 4)
Hope everyone had a spooky Halloween! Now onto the medical monsters…we open the show with a 66 year old woman, Lanique, with a face pulled tighter than a drum discussing her boobs. Her breasts, when...
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How to Get Away with Murder Recap: These People are Awful
When we left our murdering brood on How to Get Away with Murder last week, there was a suitcase full of (student loan) money in a storage unit, Eggs 911 was in jail for a drug-bust set-up via Frank,...
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The Walking Dead Recap: Morgan’s Tale
Hey Trash bags! Thanks for coming. Did you like this episode? I could have lived without it. Don’t get me wrong, the acting was amazeballs but I just do not think we needed a 90 minute backstory on...
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AHS Hotel Recap: Calling Dr. Outbreak!
We start up this week in the hospital where Doctor Chloe is looking even worse than usual and taking her own temperature with the ear thermometer. No worries, it’s a “normal” 75.5F. She heads over to...
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America’s Next Top Model Recap: Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me!
Hi, Trashies! Long time, no see! I am excited to finally be able to post this review. I was in a Rocky Horror Picture Show mood when I was writing it, so there are reference sprinkled in for those who...
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TrashTalkCeleb: Robert DeNiro, Ellen Pompeo, Khloe & Lamar, Jessa Duggar,...
Page Six – Robert DeNiro Is Yelling At Spiders Robert DeNiro is a cool guy who makes pretty rad movies and also he’s the Prime Minister of New York City, where he rubs shoulders with movie stars and...
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RHOC Recap: Reunited (And It Feels So Good)
Hey y’all! Well, we are finally here – the final part of the 27 part reunion, and it is finally all about that Brooks. The episode opens up with Andy addressing Briana, asking her how she feels about...
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Couples Therapy Recap: The Many Confused Faces of Joe Budden
Hello trash bags! Welcome back to another week of quality television recapping. Something stinks this week and I am willing to bet all of my dismal life savings that it has something to do with the...
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The Affair Recap: 50 Shades of Alison
Hey Trashmii, apologies for any confusion if you saw this recap yesterday. With the site being down and things being all cray-cray with the tech issues, a rough draft of my recap accidentally got...
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Botched: The Wizard of Schnoz (episode 5)
Salutations, dear readers. Here is the 5th episode of Botched, all shiny and plastic and new. We open with Laura, who proudly exclaims she kicked breast cancer’s butt. Good for her. After a couple kids...
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How to Get Away with Murder Recap: I Want Them ALL to Die
This episode of How to Get Away with Murder is called “I Want You to Die,” which pretty much covers everyone in this show. If you remember last week, Nate’s wife is dead, Asher’s dad has pretty much...
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