Welcome, gentle viewers, to the finale of Project Runway. I feel mixed emotions about this episode: yay it’s over/whew/boo.
Google says it will break some ground:
As I queue up the video, I am reminded about who is the real boss:
Tim is too ashamed of the double slit to smile big.
The final finale episode is mercifully shorter than any other episode this season.
Last week: Tim saves Edmond. Ashley’s family is amazing. Everyone’s collection needs to be fixed, big time. The designers have two more days to get everything up to snuff.
Candice is still not happy that she was not just given the crown immediately.
I’ll sue.
The judges are totally out to get Candice and totally love Ashley more than anyone else. This is Candice’s worst Candice nightmare.
Tim joins the designers in the relax-before-the-judges-wreck-your-life room to reiterate what they need to do to make good television be prepared for fashion week. He tells Kelly to go bananas.
If this goes wrong, remember that I restrained myself and you forced me to go crazy, k?
Kelly volunteers to go bananas and apples and oranges and all of the things that are fruit-shaped. Candice is destroyed:
Admitting I need to go to Mood is a sign of weakness. Similar to wearing not-red lipstick.
Tim takes Kelly and Ashley’s orders for stuff from Mood so that they can stay and continue to work on their collections. This is very interesting. If I were Candice/Edmond I would have jumped all over the chance to have Tim pick out my fabric. HOW, HOW, HOW can you pass that up? He’s the best ever and actually knows his stuff. Dumb move, guys.
Grandpa Tim returns with 20 pounds of glitter for Kelly and thread/fabric for Ashley. Kelly is covering everything in glitter:
Literally my dreams coming true. Go Kelly!
Candice has to start scrapping looks and is just defeated at this point. I had high hopes for her crazy collection and I really wish she would just keep it and let the world see the full thing. Because in the end, all that matters in this show is showing fashion week attendees what you can do and getting some publicity for your amazingness.
Tim implores the designers to own their designs because at this point, there is not much that can be done. Suddenly, there is a shift in the styling of the talking heads. They must have been filmed after the finale because Candice maybe had a breakdown and tried to dress casually:
My relaxation clothes.
I’m awesome.
Ashley reminds us that she is working with “real women.” I HATE that phrase. ALL women are real unless they are a hologram and I feel like there is no need to shame in either direction. Her models appear to not be holograms so I will edit her words to say “curvy women.” Rant Over.
The model fittings seem to go well for all. Tim sends the designers down to get hair and make up orders in for the final show.
Finally, finally, finally it is time for the runway.
Yayyy.
The designers race around backstage to get everything ready for the show. I am preparing for a ridiculous amount of pictures. Carrie Underwood is this week’s “superstar” guest judge. Yippee. Someone who totally and definitely knows fashion.
In a last minute tight squeeze, Ashley busts a zipper putting her model into an outfit. The situation is resolved and the show begins!
Up first—
Kelly:
That’s so Kelly.
I’m in love with the glitter lip and this looks way better than before.
I hate the sheer/nude/mesh fabric stuff.
This is good. It hits her inspiration.
Love the skirt. Hate the top. It reminds me of The Croods.
Not a fan.
Disco PJs? I think her collection is just not my thing.
Nopes all around. Big bucket of nope.
Again with the ice skating costume mesh. It never looks good!
This one is better.
Uhhhh. No. Not for me.
In conclusion: Kelly’s is not my style at all and I think it was just too strange. At least for my tastes. I don’t think it went far enough for the judges to love it.
Next up: Edmond!
Personal tastes are already suspect.
Simple and elegant.
Dramatic and cute.
Love the movement.
Eh maybe too much simple for one collection.
Oh no don’t like this. It’s like a bathtowel dress.
Nope. Not my jam.
Love.
No opinion.
Ruffles everywhere! But too much like toilet paper.
GORGE. So dramatic.
I wish designers would stop using black. It really never plays well on the runway. Black fabric needs to be lit insanely well on a runway.
Next up: Candice.
She is already proud of herself.
I’d drop the mic but that’s tacky and I can’t be tacky because I’m the winner of life.
She dedicates her show to her little blonder birds in the front row, her children. Aww. I actually do like her a lot. She’s just too fun to poke at.