It’s true, what we have all been waiting for (mostly me), NICK JONAS WAS IN THIS EPISODE!!! Just barely!!!
Alright, the episode starts out with Dean and Grace having the important meeting. If you can remember last week’s episode, and you probably don’t, the Dean told Grace she would tell her who the bathtub baby was. And here we are! This is it! Except Dean is like “I don’t remember saying that. I also don’t remember agreeing to be on this show, doc says it’s all selective.” and basically that’s all she gives her. She then goes home and takes a shower that she’s really excited about, until Red Devil shows up in another worn out Psycho reference, trying to kill her. But wait, who gives a fuck about continuity?! Munsch is suddenly dressed and dry and outside the shower ready to knock him out! Ah… alright! She goes to call 911, but before that works, Red Devil gets up and comes at her… and then wait…there’s another one?! And oh no, another one- kind of! It’s someone dressed up as a Supreme Court Justice I don’t remember the name. Oh, boy! Another platform for Ryan Murphy to tell us what HE thinks! WE ALL KNOW YOUR POINT OF VIEW BY NOW, SIR. Dean beats them up, doesn’t think to take off the masks- because NOBODY can think of that!- and they all just kind of leave. I really wish the Charlie Brown music had played. This show keeps almost accidentally referencing Arrested Development.
Now back at Kappa House, Chanel has her girls gathered and ready to present their evidence to prove that Grace and Zayday are the killers. They have nothing, obviously. Lea Michele comes up with the fact that they are both on birth control, and that their cycles are synched up because this is what happens when 3 dudes write a show about females. Pill together, kill together, am I rite ladies?! Man, I hate it when I’m trying to murder someone, but my cramps kick in and I get all emotional 
No. 3 (earmuffs) sees Denise cooking and asks her whatup, and we are informed that Denise has moved into the house. No. 3 is asking her about what she would do if she had all the money in the world and THERE’S NICK JONAS!! HIS NAME IN THE CREDITS!!!! I don’t care about this scene but I guess No. 3 is offering Denise 3 million dollars to prove that Zayday is the killer. Denise has been trying to prove this forever and has come up short, why go to her? Jeeeeeeez why am I even asking questions. I will never find the answers.
Now Grace and Dean are..having another meeting, I guess? Dean gives her the name of the girl who gave birth in the bathtub, and Grace is all sad it isn’t her mom. She’s all like “I was so pissed that my life was a lie, and now I’m super pissed that it wasn’t!” WAH! Jamie Lee Curtis calls her out on her bullshit like “It could be worse, look at me. I used to do yogurt commercials. I thought that was rock bottom. And here I am.”
Denise is on her 3 million dollar mission to prove Zayday is the Red Devil, and her first idea is to go to Jennifer. I wish I could refer to her as something other than candle girl or whatever, but we haven’t been given any other character trait to even make fun of. Boop. She immediately shuts Denise down by telling her there’s no way Zayday is a serial killer, because it just doesn’t make sense. And she’s right. BUT she does remember this one time where Zayday told her she swore to take revenge on lil rich bitches everywhere. Which, you know, kind of adds up to the whole situation, and then Zayday comes in and tells them to fuck off.
Jennifer is now making a vlog about the latest candles and Red Devil swoops in and stabs her in the head OWCH! Is there any reason? I mean, it only really makes sense for her to have died if Zayday WAS the Red Devil, right? I don’t know. It’s being made up as we go, so it’s sometimes best not to ask the tough questions.. like “why”.
Also sidenote: Her name being Jennifer makes me feel like someone in the writers room has watched that amazing candle vlog where she says something like “You’ll never guess what this god damn Jen says to me” too many times. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this, every second of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0e-he_dU58
That happened and now Denise is telling the girls that she has nothing that proves Zayday is the killer, and asks for 10% of her 3 million in advance, because Denise has the negotiating skills of a bad drug dealer. Chanel agrees, and then heads out to her “Night of A Thousand Compliments” date night with her boyfriend, Chad. Where Chad tries to compliment her a thousand times. This sounds like torture for both parties, but maybe that’s just me! (It isn’t) On the way out, the girls smell something and find Jennifer as a dead human candle.
Grace and Pete, twitter rascals, are at the coffee shop doing some research, I guess. Grace is CONVINCED she is the bathtub baby because…well, she can just feel it. Never doubt a woman’s intuition, right? Jk. I will always doubt Grace. Pete found some dot to connect that leads them to the mental asylum. I can’t with this show. Obviously, they find what they didn’t know they were looking for, because they are geniuses. Behold: painting of Gigi and a painting with……..two babies!!!! TWO! Twins! A boy and a girl! Who are they!!
There’s a candlelight ceremony for Jennifer, and Dean announces that the school is now closed and this pisses Emma Roberts off for some reason. Enough that she hires the cast of Sherlock on BBC to come investigate.
I totez ship it.
Grace heads into the kitchen to hang out with her new-mommy, Gigi, and accuses her of murder and whatever else. Gigi calls her out on lack of evidence and ridiculous story, and also shows off her new engagement ring. I’ll say it again: WHEN IS THE WORLD GOING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH NASIM PEDRAD? I can’t wait until she has an HBO special because it will be hilarious. EH, maybe VH1, if that’s still a thing by the time she figures it out.
Emma Roberts is wearing a coat made of Sherbert ice cream and talking to her detectives. They came up with basically nothing, aside from No.5 is attempting to kill Chanel and that her real name is Libby! HILAR! Oh, and that Grace’s mom has “quite the criminal record” which gets Chanel all hype and she thinks that proves Grace is the killer, which it definitely doesn’t.
Speaking of Grace and disappointing relationships, she goes to talk to her Dad. Honestly this conversation was kind of meaningless aside from him making a weird sexual comment that just for some reason felt like a fourth wall was being broken- because someone tried to make a joke? Why did I feel that? Can anyone relate? Also he claims Gigi went to the store, and came back with a ring so he just rolled with it. But then denies that she’s crazy. He’s like nah, she’s quirky. Grace is pissy, somehow connects that Dad is involved with the murders or something, and leaves. And there’s a weird shot of Wes looking at himself in the mirror. Because that’s the closest thing this show can give us to a clue.
When Gigi says she’s “just not like the other girls”
Grace has had a rough day, and it’s about to get worse. She runs into Chanel who informs her that her mom was………… the Waterfall loving basic bitch. I actually didn’t guess that! You remember, this girl. She doesn’t remember, though.
She hooked up with a douche at that party, a douche named Wes Gardner…I almost can’t even post this picture but I have to and I’m apologizing for the nightmares.
…Why was this hook-up on file, btw? ANyway- They hooked up, had Grace, she changed her name and her criminal record started piling up, she eventually died drinking and driving. Grace slaps Chanel in the face and storms out.
So now we have Denise trying to act like she is in charge of the house. She’s wearing No. 5’s clothes and says “The bigger question is, why are you the same size as a 40 year old woman?”… what the hell? That shouldn’t be an okay joke to make? Don’t you love it when Ryan Murphy tries so damn hard to shove his opinions in your face, and then something like that happens, and it just ruins everything? What an asshole, honestly. Chanel walks in and tells Denise she’s in charge, but it turns out all Denise really wanted was for her to apologize to Grace for saying rude things about her mom? Like, that’s where you draw the line Denise? after you just fat shamed a 19 year old girl? And you’re currently trying to prove one of them to be a serial killer? But don’t you dare talk about someone’s mom, that’s RUDE! Chanel eventually agrees, because Denise threatens to keep having sex with Chad unless she does it. So everyone is just really wholesome and good in this scenario.
Grace goes back to her Dad’s and I really feel like this episode could have been laid out a little better? Why do we keep going back and forth this is honestly exhausting. He tells her that everything Chanel said is true, also that he burnt down their old house to hide evidence from Grace…..what. the. hell. does that even mean. Wes you are CRAZY??? Grace leaves as Gigi comes in, and she then tells Wes she’s worried about Grace. She’s failing her classes and she’s like “Honestly you’re failing her a s a father if you don’t commit her”!!!! How many times are we going to go back to the asylum!! We get it, Mr. Murphy, season 2 of AHS was the highlight of your career but CHILL!!
Chanel and Grace go for coffee so Chanel can apologize. It almost seemed sincere but it doesn’t really matter. Grace didn’t accept it and left.
And now here we are at the gym and HOLY S Did you hear that sweet voice??????? It’s still just his back, so I guess they’re trying to keep it a mystery, LOL I AM GOING TO RECOGNIZE NICK JONAS’ VOICE ANYWHERE, FOOLS!!! He’s disguised as Joaquin Phoenix, which is actually kind of funny, and is on the phone with the mysterious third party killer. He’s like “Gigi is ruining this, we have to get rid of her” and that was it. He was in the episode for like…one minute, and it was the most quality acting. YES, I am biased because I love him, but I don’t care. He’s amazing.
That’s it for this week! A lot happened, kind of! If you guys could leave comments that would be AWESOME because it’s the only real feedback (and payment) I get! I love reading and responding to them, so hit me up!! Give me all your theories!
Also, feel free to follow me on twitter because I make a lot of jokes similar to the ones here. @grumpykat42 !! Thanks SO much for reading!!!! Xoxoxoxo