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Hey y’all! The bakers are back, and they are keeping the bad puns flowing and cooking up some unnecessary dramatics. This week starts off with Bobby Deen in a sweater/button up combo, as Bobby still isn’t sure what route to take his hosting duties. Is he loveable, relatable bro in the sweater? Is he the hunky, untouchable in the shiny suit? Or should he be getting really into it and wearing holiday onesies? Time will tell.
As Bobby enters, the remaining eight bakers aren’t really sure what to do. Some clap. Some cheer. Some look off into the distance and dream of fame (cough Steve cough). Bobby reiterates the stakes for this gang, because with stakes as high as $50k and a title, it is pivotal to drop that at every potential opportunity. Not like those other reality competition shows that have huge cash prizes along with a laundry list of donated items by sponsors that are unsuccessfully disguised as secondary prizes. Here, we stick to a couple bucks and a season two badge.
Bobby drops his first big line of the night, and we learn that this challenge is all about stuffing. Padua recognizes weak hosting game when he sees it, and pipes in with his attempts at some quality one liners. Bobby manages to describe the next challenge of stuffing one thing with another with an awkward amount of sexual reference, but not enough to be sure he did it on purpose. The bakers will have one hour to make their best holiday whoopie pies, which does not excite Maeve (shocker) who relates the whoopie pie to a sexually confused cake.
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I’m going to stuff my stuff in your stuff.
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Weak joke. Even for you Bobby.
The bakers will each have a theme as usual, which they will find hidden in a turkey baster, because that seems like the least creepy item to hide a piece of paper in. As Bobby counts the bakers in, Susan mutters that she has never made a whoopie pie, and I wonder what kind of bakers auditioned for this show if one of the top ten bakers has never even made a whoopie pie before. Do they just want this to be a shit show? Did they pick three legit good contestants, and then tried to find as many epic fail potential contestants as possible? That sure would explain bowler hat.
The bakers take off for the basters, with Padua barely even picking up his stride to get there. Dude will have last pick every damned time. Melody opens up her baster (wtf) and her theme is turkey. Because turkey and whoopie pies are like a match made in heaven. Right. Melody decides to keep it basic and go with a pumpkin flavour, since girl is sporting her fave chestnut Ugg boots, with the fur, of course. Melody’s pies are the first in the oven, so she interviews that this is going to be easy. Easy as whoopie pie.
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My pies are first in the oven, so I best be first in line for a stuffing from Bobby Deen.
Over in Susan’s kitchen, Bobby has arrived to earn the big bucks and actually interact with the contestants for up to 15 seconds, if he can stomach it. Bobby asks Susan how she is doing and she responds with an “OK” which makes Bobby scratch his head as bitch has won the most challenges thus far, so she better get her cocky on. But Susan knows, when you’re at the top, the pressure to stay at the top can be too much. Fast forward to Susan popping baking enhancing drugs and dancing to “I’m a maniac” backstage.
Susan’s theme is pumpkin, which Melody has decided is also her theme, so lets hope everyone just makes a fucking pumpkin whoopie pie and we get a mass elimination. Susan interviews that she has never made a whoopie pie, which seems an unnecessary statement as we just watched her put a sheet cake in the oven. No whoopie pies in this kitchen.
Bobby asks Steve how he’s doing, and Steve hides his outrage about as well as Susan hides her cat lady. Steve got the theme pilgrim, because clearly that is a theme. And when the think tank had to come up with four themes that referenced the holidays, they got stuck after pumpkin. Steve decides to add a buckle to an unconventionally shaped whoopie pie, and call it a pilgrim. As opposed to making his pies pilgrim flavoured, which seems a bit trickier. Steve gives us the play by play of how he is making his whoopie pies, as the 12 of us viewers are surely watching to take notes to replicate these dishes. I have been wanting to add more pilgrim to my holiday meals, thanks Food Network.
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BOBBY CAN’T YOU LET A BITCH WHISK.
Over in Haley’s kitchen, Haley has not yet cried, so we know we are less than five minutes into the episode. Haley’s theme is fall foliage, which she interviews immediately made her think of the fall and leaves. Wow Haley, the phrase “fall foliage” immediately made you think of fall leaves? You are an advanced thinker there girl. Can’t get shit past you.