Everyone is still getting turned up over in Christina Millian’s world and we begin our evening with Dom and Lizzy canoodling in Tina’s kitchen. Lizzy is talking to Dom in a baby voice about how he loves how crazy she is and loves her being a mess. Lizzy should definitely be a motivational speaker for young women. They start investigating each other’s Instagram and Facebook messages and Lizzy pretty much calls all of Dom’s followers “hoes.” Again, this women is a pioneer for women’s rights. They make out because stalking each other and not trusting one another to not send genital photos is so hot. I cannot believe that was a scene the editors thought was worth our time. Fuck my life.
We cut to a scenic walk with Richard and Danielle and this totally doesn’t feel scripted AT ALL. They rehash what happened at Danielle’s Us magazine photo shoot and Danielle thinks Richard needs to learn how to deal with his shit. She doesn’t think he is reaching out to enough people and it is his responsibility to figure out how to. Danielle then reminds us how amazing the photo shoot was and how it was awesome because it was all about her. It’s the little things in life guys, like photo shoots, I get it.
Now we head over to the YMCA (yes, seriously) to see a girl group Christina has decided to mentor. Tina walks in a literally says “turn up” and a producer goes over to shove a $100 down her shirt for product placement. Tina wants to take the girls to the recording studio and the girls start twerking with excitement. I always respond the same when I get complimented on my latte art skills. Always twerk, it’s the sign of success.
Richard and Danielle head over to what is called “The Juvenile Store,” and it literally looks like a juvenile prison from the outside. They are looking around for their son and sit down in a fake bedroom to discuss Richard’s plans to support their family. Aside from all the offers he says he has for gay porn, he tells Danielle he wants to be a stunt man. He says he only has a ten year window to do this so he needs to go after his dreams now. Ten years? BOY. Please. Danielle doesn’t want to squash his dreams and wants him to get out of his funk, so fuck it. Their daughter Naomi then strolls over swinging a plastic sword at them. Hey, those Millian ladies be crazy from day one!
Tina, Richard, Lizzy and Dom go for a hike and Dom is training Richard to get into better shape so he can be a stunt man. Dom wants everyone to do push ups and squats and Richard barely wants to touch his toes, so clearly, Richard has found his path. Richard says he isn’t out of shape, in fact, he’s in good enough shape as someone who doesn’t work out. I hope they are not home schooling their daughter. Up on the hill, Tina begins to talk about being too far apart from Wayne and how much they miss each other. Tina tells us that she just wants people to stay out of her business and her love life is just her and Wayne’s business. WOMAN. YOU ARE ON A REALITY TELEVISION SHOW. ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE. Woof, this show.
Will Tina realize her girl group dreams? Will Richard not get rich and also die trying? Come back soon to see my full recap!