Just when I thought Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood couldn’t get any more ridiculous (ahem, scripted), this week’s episode proved me so, so wrong. This week we were blessed with fake tears, tossed drinks, and some very unfortunate blazers.
Let’s dive in!
Fash-un
This week we started out by visiting with Fizz and Moniece, shopping for some new clothes for Cameron, who’s beginning kindergarten soon. It’s always so cute when Moniece pretends to care about her child. While they’re shopping, Fizz decided this would be a great time to ask Moniece to be the main girl in his “Good Lotion” video, you know, since Nikki wanted no part of that mess. Fizz sells it as being good exposure for Moniece, who is trying to (re)launch her music career.
Then we head over to Ray J, who I believe is hanging out at the same bar that Willie had his little concert at last week. Ray is meeting up with Max to discuss his relationship with Princess, which Ray says is like a burrito. It’s a wrap. I need to know where Ray J/the producers are coming up with these lines. They’d be really good at making memes.
Anyways, Ray is pretending to miss Princess, and thinks she should have forgiven his past indiscretions, because he went from being a 90% cheater, to a 5% cheater. I’m just guessing, but she probably wants that number to be 0. Ray J is missing Princess so much, that he hasn’t even been sleeping with all the women throwing themselves at him. He’s just been masturbating to PornHub.
We can add that factoid to the list of things I never needed to know.
Apparently Ray J has finally realized how much he loves Princess, because he knows that no one else would go to jail for him.
Then we meet up with Moniece and Teairra, shopping at a very sparse looking store/warehouse.
Teairra tells Moniece all about the drama at the fashion show fitting, and Teairra wants to plot a way to crash the event, and get back at Nikki and Hazel for betraying her.
Same, tbh
Then we get to the serious portion of this week’s episode, when Brandi reveals that her sister is suffering from Multiple Sclerosis. Brandi acted like a normal human, and seems to really love her family.
Then we move on to the most played out storyline in the history of VH1. Miles and Amber are meeting up at the park to discuss Miles coming out for the 947th time this season. It was really difficult for me to pay attention to what they were saying, because ever since that story dropped about them being cousins, I keep trying to figure out if they look alike.
The major storyline here seemed to be that Amber told her daughter, Zoe, about Miles being sexually attracted to the same sex. Oh, also Miles got into a fist fight with one of his nephews. I am imagining said nephew is must younger/smaller than Miles, and that he whooped Miles’ ass.
Then we move over to Fizz, trying to pull off his best Hotline Bling.
Is that lotion?
After some pretend singing and uncomfortable to watch grinding, Fizz and Moniece sat down to discuss how their relationship has improved recently. Then Moniece tries to ruin all that by basically telling Fizz that she’s still in love with him, and wants to be a family with Cameron again. It took about .25 seconds for Fizz to hit her with the no ma’am, saying he basically fell out of love with her 5 years ago. Ouch.
That’s when Moniece decided to turn on the fake tears.
Sad, tbh.
After pretending to care about her, Fizz was finally able to get rid of Moniece, just in time for Nikki to arrive.
Fizz is wearing a backpack(?) or possibly a sheep? Or an Ugg boot turned inside out? I’m really not sure. Anyways, Fizz replayed the conversation he had with Moniece, and Nikki pretended to care, because you know these two are not dating in real life.
Then we’re back with Ray J, or based on his behavior this week, Princess’ stalker. Ray J shows up to Princess’ apartment, seemingly unexpected.
Promise I’m not the killer.
Did not expect you, but full face of makeup.
This scene, which I think was supposed to be sad, was actually hilarious. Ray kept trying to show affection for Princess, but she was not reciprocating at all. Apparently Princess had just got back from visiting her family in Texas (isn’t she from Atlanta?), and realized that the reason she kept putting up with Ray J’s bullshit shit, was because of deeper issues she has with her father. Ray J wanted to go to Princess’ fashion show to support her, but she was like, uhm actually thanks, but no thanks.
We’ve finally made it. It’s the day of the fashion show, and Hazel is counting seats, or checking for gift bags, or something that a small child could definitely handle. Just as everything is starting to come together, Hazel gets a text from Teairra (a producer) that she is headed over to crash the fashion show. The reason I don’t believe that it was actually Teairra that texted Hazel, is that letting someone know beforehand that you’re going to crash their event, makes it no longer a crash. That’s like if I was throwing you a surprise birthday party, and then sent you a Snapchat showing you everybody hiding.
So Hazel, the professional that she is, leaves the event mid-setup. Milan, for some reason (a producer told him to), chases after her and tries to make her stay. Hazel had the look of absolutely being checked out on her face, and quickly hit the pavement.
Back inside, Milan tells Nikki and Princess that Hazel bounced, and Princess said what we were all thinking when she said that Hazel is afraid of Teairra. There is more to this story, and if Mona is who I think she is, she’ll be sure to probe deeper at the reunion.
Now it’s time for the “big” event, and the Q-List stars are arriving.
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What is there to say about this event? It looks like it was being help in a partially refurbished auto body shop.
Let’s take a look at some of the, as Princess called them, couture fashions.
Something tells me we won’t be seeing any of this at Bergdorf Goodman anytime soon.
The best part of the show was the return of one of my favorite characters from last season, Nikki’s mom.
I’m happy, can you tell?
Just as the fashion show is coming to a close, Teairra shows up wearing one of her fashions, which was a white mid-thigh length blazer with a strange black sheer patch on the back.
Before all the models are off the catwalk, Teairra and her models make their grand entrance.
Then, because this is a group of classy individuals, as the designers are thanking their guests, Princess and Teairra have a screaming match over the microphones. I’m sure this is just how things go down at New York Fashion Week.
After the show, in his true stalker form, Ray is waiting outside for Princess, with a bouquet of white flowers. I think there were a few roses, but it looked like a hodgepodge of leftovers. Anyways, Ray J uses this back alley encounter, as another opportunity to try and get Princess back in his life. Princess agrees, but only as friends. Ray J was obviously not satisfied with that response.
Now it’s time for the typical post drama meet up, and we’re with Milan, Princess, Moniece, Teairra and Nikki. Did anyone else notice that at one point Moniece was barefoot?
So, basically this entire conversation is Teairra being upset that Nikki and Hazel brought Princess into the fashion show.
My feelings exactly.
Because Moniece wasn’t actually involved in this drama at all, she decided to speak up, and somehow we get back to the fight on the rooftop between Teairra and Princess, when Moniece threw a drink on Princess. Moniece wasn’t giving Princess the time of day, so of course the natural chain of events led to more drinks being thrown, and Moniece being held back like a mental patient.
Oh, this show.
*shakes head & smiles*
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