This episode started off very well, because of Nick Jonas. Is my Nick obsession getting old yet? Let me know, I’ll be sure to not care! He’s on the phone, yet again, and asks curiously about Zayday. And claims they’re going to off Gigi. He’s seen by No. 3 who immediately catches on…to the fact that he’s a ghost! Real quick, gah dayum, Nick’s face. It’s just so good.
Chanel is dressed in brown which, naturally, is concerning. She’s dressed up because she had just been invited to the Radwell’s family Thanksgiving, which is basically a proposal. Hester is fuming.
Zayday is wearing a dead baby chick on her head while having one of her disgusting moments with Grace, and invites her to Thanksgiving with her family. The Chanels are hanging out with Denise, going through clothes, and telling ghost stories….This show is WEAK. Denise tells several ghost stories about things killing girls in the bathroom and Abigail Breslin’s voice is the worst thing I’ve heard since Phil Collins new album.
The Ghost of Dead Gay Boone pays Chad Radwell a visit, and Chad is totally chill about it. Boone asks Chad to borrow a shirt so that he can woo Zayday because once you go black, I’m not finishing this sentence. Chad is again, chill, but does remind Boone that Zayday is dating that one guy -I don’t remember his name- but Boone isn’t worried about it. Because he’s a murderer.
So now Denise is going to the bathroom and obviously one of the stories she told earlier comes true. Red Devil tries to get her but she…well, I don’t really understand how she fought him off. She pushed him and he just kind of twirled around in he bathroom for a minute, you know, like murderers do. She runs back to the Chanels and says she’s not leaving until they tell ghost stories to calm her down. I LOVE how much sense this show makes all the time. No 5 is screaming BECAUSE THAT IS ALL ANYONE EVER DOES ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN SHOW because she doesn’t understand why everyone is still in this fucking house. I would have been fine with her leaving a long time ago!!
Zayday and her boyfriend- is his name Earl Grey? Is that real? I’m not going to look it up. I hope I’m wrong and I keep referring to him as Earl Grey anyway. Anyway, they’re about to have sex or something, when he leaves to get roses & lotions, and here comes Boone, here to profess his love. As a ghost. Because he’s rolling with this bit. He’s like “I’m a ghost, but we have to fuck!” and Keke Palmer is like no thx (her restraint is something I do not have), you’re definitely the killer, Grace comes in, they push him out a window. Before you freak out -LIKE I DID- Nick Jonas isn’t dead. He somehow survived the fall and is out of sight. He quickly is in the Red Devil outfit and kills Earl Grey. Three cheers for lack of continuity!
No 5 announced (shrieked) that she was leaving, and nobody cared! Including me! Then there was a stupid reenactment of a ghost story Hester told. It was stupid. The Red Devil was in her car trying to kill her. And it was stupid.
Hester asks Chad why he didn’t choose her to take to Thanksgiving/marry and he gives her an offensive, unfunny list of reasons why. Don’t worry, none of the reasons were “I love Chanel”. Also, she’s back in her brace, but it’s sparkly. She goes back to the other Chanels and tells them all she is pregnant!!!!!! Chanel talks to Chad about it and he says yes and that he has to marry her. But he’s like, totes bummed out about it. Chanel is mad and keeps saying “we’ll see”. Too many times.
Here we are again with the incompetent detectives Dean Munsch has hired, there’s a theory that the Red Devil is a ghost, whatever relationshiipppp(??) blows up, and the Dean spills to Grace and Zayday all she knows: There were in fact two babies born in that bathtub, one of which is probably Boone, because even as a newborn, he was the human smirking emoji. But we definitely already knew this so chill.
Now there’s a MAM (Murderers Anonymous Meeting) where the plan is to kill Gigi. But ends up…..I can’t even say it. They fucking killed off Nick Jonas again. Even as I type this, an hour later, I’m visibly upset.
Oh, but Hester definitely isn’t pregnant (City of Hope Hospital has no record of anything). But Chanel pushes her down the stairs and kills her anyway.
As always, please feel free to comment & share and snapcash me money! I have Pauley Perrette drama to catch up on, see you guys soon.