This week opened with a beautiful scene, containing the face of Nick Jonas, disguised as “Wakeen Phoenix”. He’s on the phone as always, talking to the third party we still don’t know the identity of. It sounds like the plan to off Gigi is still on, and he asks about Zayday. But not in a “she’s in on it” way, but more in a “I wanna get in on dat” way. Would make sense, him being in love with Zayday, but….gay? How curious. His disguise comes apart and he is caught by No. 3 so she catches on to the fact that…he’s a ghost. So Boone rolls with this ridiculous theory. Honestly No. 3 is becoming one of my favorites. She’s always there with a dry, raspy, comment. Someone give that girl some Throat Coat, stat!
The Chanels are all hanging out in Chanel’s closet freaking out because Chanel is wearing brown. It is definitely alarming. There was a “funny” bit about her confusing Pocahontas and Sacagawea, before she breaks the news of her kind of engagement to Chad Radwell. He invited her to Thanksgiving with his family and gave her a silver wishbone, which is basically an engagement ring. Hester is fuming with jealousy, probably because she still isn’t the star of this show.
Zayday and Grace – more like Akeelah and the Bitch AM I RITE, LADIES???
I’m right. They are continuing their weird love affair and Zayday invites Grace to have Thanksgiving with her family. That was all that happened in this scene, I probably could have skipped it, but that Akeelah and the Bitch joke was solid. Also, she’s wearing a dead chick on her head.
In another section of Chanel’s closet, the Chanels and Denise are playing with bubble wrap. No. 3 tells them she’s being personally haunted by the ghost of dead gay Boone, and Denise needs to hear some ghost stories to calm herself down. She tells a couple of stories that involve being murdered in a bathroom. Honestly I don’t think I can listen to Abigail Breslin talk any more. No. 5 threatens to leave and we’re all super okay with it.
The ghost of dead gay Boone pays Chad Radwell a visit, to tell him about Christmas past. Jk, he wants to borrow his date shirt to impress Zayday. Because once you go black, I’m not finishing that sentence! Chad is pretty chill with him borrowing the shirt, and existing at all, but he does warn him that Zayday has a boyfriend. And I swear they have only ever muttered his name because I don’t know what it is. Earl Grey? Is that real? He warns him that they are dating, but Boone isn’t too concerned about it, being a murderer and all.
“I’m almost as much of a butter-face as Danielle Jonas!”
Denise is going to the bathroom, so I wonder what is going to happen. Obviously the Red Devil tries to kill her and fails for some reason I don’t understand. She’s freaked out and runs to the Chanels to hear another ghost story. Hester tells a very basic one. If you know me at all, you know I can’t stand Lea Michele, but she’s actually becoming a favorite part of the show for me. Well, favorite is a stretch. Just because she’s at least consistent. No. 5 gets the fuck out and good riddance!!
Zayday and EARL GREY are about to have sex or something, but while he’s in the bathroom, Boone comes in through the window professing his love! She turns him down because he is obviously the killer and not a ghost, especially with the fork wound on his hand! Grace walks in and they push Boone out the window. He definitely should have died from that fall, but he didn’t. He was out of sight…immediately. He ran off and killed Zayday’s boyfriend and someone probably cares, but it isn’t me.
No. 5 is playing out the ghost story Hester told earlier and it is BEYOND STUPID. That’s all I have to say about it. Stupid.
Hester (back in her brace, but it’s sparkly) confronts Chad to ask why he chose Chanel, rather than her. He gives her a list of 5 offensive, unfunny reasons. By the way, none of them were “I love Chanel”. Because why would that be a reason!? She runs back to the Chanels and tells them she is pregnant with Chad’s baby. When Chanel asks him about it, he’s like “Aw damn. Yeah. Guess I have to marry her now! Sry.”
Chanel gathers No. 3 and 5 in her closet because that’s where things happen, and she APOLOGIZES!! It takes No. 5 a second to accept it but she does for some reason. Then she reveals why she made this attempt: She wants to plan to murder Hester.