Hello Trash Talkers! Did anyone watch last week’s ep besides me? Something about an overly tanned, brassy hag and a fake Tiffany lamp. If you’re feeling generous, or excited about your Tiffany, watch the ep the millionth time Bravo runs it. Right now, we have to locate Vikki.
After getting stuck in Jersey last week, Vikki realizes that she needs to leave the state once again, to sass things up. Does that mean we get to channel Season 1 and hit the California beaches? Noooo. It’s back to Atlanta we go. Bravo has Vikki on a budget and face it, her preggo self loves some Southern food. Even more than the usual heifer.
Don’t even try, honey.
Alex is still on the payroll, and calls Vikki to fill her in on her latest. This uncouple situation sounds a little scary. Jim, who will be playing the role of Asshole of the Hour, was kicked out of the family home by his current wife. He seems to have a temper and a passion for screaming. So verbal abuse will be in the mix for this one. Great. I will use my recapping powers to bulldoze right over this prick.
Vikki skips a KFC run and arrives at their gorgeous home on time. She’s banks $500 hourly, remember? It’s the least she can do. Jim is MIA. Jailed already? Nah. His angry self arrives shortly after Vikki. There are plenty of valuables to argue about. Like the rest of them, he wants all of it. Not so fast. His ex looks like she is not going down without his Michael Jordan shoe, which we will soon have the honor of viewing. Stacey is more than just another plastic face:
Right off I hate this man. It’s not just his crepey skin. I feel his insanity. He doesn’t even flinch when Stacey, his fading Barbie of an ex, accuses him of being verbally abusive. Nice man. If anything, he’s annoyed with Vikki’s shock.
These two want to get the hell away from each other. Vikki wants this one over and done, and rightfully so. The goods? Her engagement ring, the house and his sports memorabilia. The Millea brothers frantically try to find someone to assess the value of most everything. I’m pinning my hopes on Vikki to force Jim to sell his beloved sports crap, which may or may not be genuine. Fake would make this so much better.
Besides the terrifying Jim, we have the usual party of one to fill the hour. This time it’s a former model/actress/singer who just discovered her divorce is a sham. It’s up to Vikki to track down her shady husband. If my instincts are right, her current marital status is the very least of her legal problems.
Check back for the full, where I will restrain from breaking various objects every time Jim appears. Until then Trash Talkers, snark on….
Want more TrashTalk? Follow us on Twitter for updates of recaps as they publish, like us on Facebook for a daily update, watch our TV parody vids on YouTube, or for funny TV pics, heart us on Instagram, and get find the occasional gif on Tumblr!